I've long been an observer of your devotional/spiritual lyrics -- but have never commented, as I'm personally uncomfortable with critiquing that kind of material. I suppose I had always hoped that eventually you might branch out in other directions ... and am delighted, frankly, to see that you have.
As I'm pretty sure this song is about a miscarriage of a pregnancy -- I hope it is not a true story from your life, and offer my sincerest condolences if it is. I guess that, as much as anything, is the highest praise I can give ... this is powerful stuff.
So onto the business at hand. There are a few inconsistencies between V1 and V2 -- most noticeably, in the first verse you write:
"she never made it past the Spring--"
But in the second verse, you write:
"shared warm memories of June"
If, as I suspect, the memories are of "the baby planned, but never born", and that baby never "made it past the spring" -- there would be no memories of "June" (a summer month) to share.
Now it could be that you mean memories of conceiving the child in June of last year -- but even that wouldn't necessarily jibe with a 9 month pregnancy cut short -- as the baby would have been due around February/March. I'm sorry to be so clinical about it -- but I think it matters, and can be easily fixed ... with a change in the V1 line to:
"she never made it to the spring"
I'm also not entirely sold on the last line of your Chorus -- "and the children were confined" seems an inappropriate image -- as if the surviving children were forced by the grieving parents to stay in mourning -- which doesn't fit the rest of it.
But again, this is an incredibly strong piece, and with attention to these few details, a dynamite musical score and a singer with the right feeling -- won't leave a dry eye in the house. I salute you.
Don Rowe
Posted on May 17, 2000, 12:43 PM from IP address 209.145.177.122