some comments

by

 

Hi Andy, I noticed your metre doesn't match across verses (lines 3 of v1 and v2 for instance. Youre rhyme seems inconsistent (verse 1 you rhyme tall w/ all but in verse 2 someone doesn't rhyme with horizon.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by:
I am a lonely heart
in the magazines
You know Andy it struck me as a cool idea if your verse 2 would be the guy's personal ad. The chorus could go:
I'm the lonely heart
In the classifieds
....




Posted on May 17, 2000, 7:00 PM
from IP address 38.30.183.196


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