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My problem with this one Wayne is that, while you're giving us memories, there's nothing that holds it together. "Sunrise, Sunset" would be a good example for this. The verses lead each time to the chorus and get "larger" each time.
What you have is a refrain but there is no payoff;there is no end. You can have a payoff by making the verses gradually grander or with a twist in the end.



Posted on May 17, 2000, 7:21 PM
from IP address 38.30.183.196


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