He still lives in her memory
Though he’s gone now from her sight
Tears have stained the pillow
[excellent new twist on the old tears
lines one normally hears!]
Where, she cried alone last night
She’s taken down his photo
And put another in the frame
For he broke her trust forever
[if he's cheated before then "forever" is
a bit extreme here - maybe "again"?]
And she’ll never be the same
They’d been friends and lovers
They still were man and wife
[the "they'd" followed by "They" - to
my ear reads a little akward - maybe
replace "They" with "And"?]
But she had caught him cheating
And banished him for life
It hadn’t been the first time
She’d forgiven him before
But enough is enough she decided
She wouldn't accept it anymore
Chorus
When he calls she cries.
As she hears his voice on the machine.
[I got the picture o.k. with "machine" but
maybe the sylable count's a bit long on line
2 of the chorus? - just an idea here:
"When his message ends, she cries
"And wipes the answer 'phone clean"]
Crying for the love.
[shame about the 2 "loves" on successive
lines here - perhaps something like:
"Crying for the purest bond"?]
Their love had once been.
She cries for the wasted years.
And for her lost esteem
But most of all.
She cries
For the shattering of a dream
[brilliant hook!]
She knows time will heal her wounds.
And she may love again.
But she wonders if she’ll be able .
To quell doubts that still remain.
[I didn't quite understand this line:
- doubts about a new love or about the
old love to be given another chance?]
She keeps recalling the saying
Once bitten twice shy.
And knows with a mind filled with doubt.
Love will surely die
[again - didn't quite follow the logic of
the last 2 lines - probably just me]
Chorus
And when he calls she cries.
As she hears his voice on the machine.
Crying for the love.
Their love had once been.
She cries for the wasted years.
And for her lost esteem
But most of all.
She cries
For the shattering of a dream
Great stuff Graham - wish I got stuck
in those "circles" of yours occasionally!
Posted on May 22, 2000, 5:52 PM from IP address 195.92.67.36