This is what is called in poetry "dramatic irony". It basically means that you don't mean what you are saying, but say it in such a way to enforce exactly the opposite in your listener's mind. Definately works here.
Only one minor suggestion. On that tag why not give a pay off with the girl of his dreams showing up on the horizon?
Well, I see my plan is working,
I see my dream's come true.
I look across a crowded room
And catch a smile from you.
Maybe even a rewrite of the chorus the final time through also turning it around.
It is certainly OK as is. Guess I like happy endings.
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Posted on May 24, 2000, 8:31 PM from IP address 24.94.94.191