The following is a transcript of tonight’s ceremony. Thanks to everyone who could join us live: it may be my favorite Bait an Oscar memory ever!!! Congratulations to all the winners!
ANNOUNCER: Live, from the Bait an Oscar chat, it’s the 24th monthly, and second annual, Academy Awards for the month of April! We’ve got some fierce competition this month, fueled by some amazing baits. And in just a while, the ambiguity will end.
Now, please welcome our first presenter: the star of “Hairspray” and this month’s “The Thin Rope”, Nikki Blonsky!
NIKKI BLONSKY: Thank you. The ability to create something out of nothing is a skill possessed by few. And yet, the following baits managed to do just that, and create a bait that was unlike any we’ve ever seen before. The nominees for Best Original Bait are…
Book
Convention
The Elysium Dream
High
Learriving at Dawn
Sunburn
And the first Oscar of the evening goes to…
THE ELYSIUM DREAM
ANNOUNCER: To present our next award, please welcome Uma Thurman!
UMA THURMAN: A devoted fanbase can make a bait, or a film for that matter, a huge success. The following exceptional baits obtained and managed a huge following that ultimately would lead them to where they are tonight. The nominees for Best Cult Bait are…
The Blood Countess
Dark Blue
The Elysium Dream
No Talking Necessary
Sunburn
And the Oscar goes to…
SUNBURN
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage a two-time Academy Award winner, Idina Menzel!
IDINA MENZEL: Sometimes, a truly great campaign can make a bait seem better than it really is. Or, as is the case with tonight’s nominees, it can make a truly great bait get the attention it deserves. The nominees for Best Online Awards Campaign are…
The Boy from Oz
Convention
Golden Gate
Here We Are Now
Paradise Lost
And the Oscar goes to…
CONVENTION
ANNOUNCER: To present our next award, put your hands together for rising star James McAvoy!
JAMES MCAVOY: In many ways, writing an adapted screenplay is more challenging than writing an original one. Not only do you have to satisfy those who have never heard of your source material, but you also must consider the die-hard fans of the original medium. These five baits, however, got the best of both worlds. The nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay are…
The Boy from Oz, written by Marc Sherman
The Great Ordeal, written by Julian Fellows
Gypsy, written by Bill Condon
Lord of the Flies, written by Steven Knight
Paradise Lost, written by James Schamus & Dan Futterman
And the Oscar goes to…
LORD OF THE FLIES
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage action star Bruce Willis!
BRUCE WILLIS: Baits that include an eye-catching visual before the writing can often garner more attention than those that don’t. The following baits compelled us to move forward through both art and writing. The nominees for Best Poster are…
High
The Night Shift
Our Family Exactly
And the Oscar goes to…
OUR FAMILY EXACTLY
ANNOUNCER: To introduce our first BP nominee, please welcome the man from the hit bait “The Boy from Oz”, Hugh Jackman!
HUGH JACKMAN: A legend of rock and roll, the life of Kurt Kobain was one of poetry, glory, torment and ultimately sorrow. Written by AJ Bell, this extraordinary bait overcame so adverse criticism to become a fan favorite among the readers.
Starring nominee Joe Anderson and back by performers Scarlett Johansson, Matthew Lewis and Jason Lee, this is a biopic to remember. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Here We Are Now.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Academy Award Nominee Catherine O’Hara!
CATHERINE O’HARA: A captivating title can make a bait stand out from the rest of the pack. You know, like Seven Days to the Weekend…To Dwell in Evil…The Catherine O’Hara Story. (Pause) No? Well, the nominees for Best Title are…
African Falls
An Incestuous Story
Our Family Exactly
Owner of a Lonely Heart
The Passion in Pain
And the Oscar goes to…
THE PASSION IN PAIN
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage Academy Award nominee Joan Cusack!
JOAN CUSACK: When it comes right down to it, there’s really one question studio heads ask when they want to know if they should or shouldn’t greenlight a project: can it bring in the bacon? The answer to that question for the following baits was a resounding yes. The nominees for Best Box-Office Potential are…
The Boy from Oz
Gypsy
I Love Mammy
Our Family Exactly
Paradise Lost
And the Oscar goes to…
PARADISE LOST
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome the legendary Jack Nicholson!
JACK NICHOLSON: Well, what is there to say other than that this was a wonderful month for taglines. The nominees for Best Tagline are…
“The best character of your life might by yourself” – The Character of Marcia
“Some events are far more than advertised” – Convention
“Romance was her work… Heartbreak was her life” – Golden Gate
“Life is a constant failed examination” – High
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional” – The Passion in Pain
And the Oscar goes to…
“THE BEST CHARACTER OF YOUR LIFE MAY BE YOURSELF” – THE CHARACTER OF MARCIA
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome last month’s winner for Best Supporting Actor, Armin Mueller-Stahl!
ARMIN MUELLER-STAHL: When the Bait an Oscar contest first began, there were, oddly enough, no awards for acting. Thankfully, however, we now have a way to award five truly extraordinary performances by five truly extraordinary women. The nominees for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role are…
Kathy Bates, Our Family Exactly
Suzuka Ohgo, Owner of a Lonely Heart
Ellen Page, Cloth
Winona Ryder, The Character of Marcia
Elisabeth Shue, The Passion in Pain
Meryl Streep, Book
And the Oscar of goes to…
MERYL STREEP, BOOK
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage the writer and director of the eagerly anticipated “Synecdoche, New York”, Charlie Kaufman!
CHARLIE KAUFMAN: The thing we notice most in any story is the characters. A bait with compelling, unique characters is, every single time, incomparably better than a bait without such. The nominees for Best Original Character are…
Professor Highsmith, played by Bill Murray, in High
Charlie Olson, played by Sean Penn, in An Incestuous Story
Kyle Jones, played by Jim Carrey, in Learriving at Dawn
Megumi Yokota, played by Suzuka Ohgo & Do-Yeon Jeon, in Owner of a Lonely Heart
Kevin Mirk, played by John Cusack, in The Passion in Pain
Thomas, played by Elias Koteas, in Sunburn
And the Oscar goes to…
MEGUMI YOKOTA, PLAYED BY SUZUKA OHGO & DO-YEON JEON IN OWNER OF A LONELY HEART
ANNOUNCER: Let’s bring out the next BP nominee. Please welcome Ben Stiller.
Ben Stiller: Many people don’t know this, but the world of nerds is much more complex than you think. This is what many people discovered in Convention, Maia’s brilliant ensemble comedy on the inner workings and troubles of a fictional comic
book convention. Led by talented performers like Jon Voight and nominee Ricky Gervais, this was a big surprise for everyone, even me. So, we bring you into the world of Convention.
ANNOUNCER: To present our next award, welcome the star of “Owner of a Lonely Heart”, Do-Yeon Jeon
DO-YEON JEON: It is believed that a great crew can make a mediocre script into a great film. Whether or not this was the case for the following, it is clear that the crew played a major part in these baits. The nominees for Best Crew are…
The Blood Countess
The Great Ordeal
Lord of the Flies
The Night Shift
Paradise Lost
And the Oscar goes to…
THE BLOOD COUNTESS
ANNOUNCER: Another Best Picture nominee will be covered. Let’s welcome its presenter Javier Bardem.
Javier Bardem: Lord of the Flies, a classic book written by William Golding, was hailed as a masterpiece for its psychological dissection of civilization. Now someone has turned it into a great bait. With young actors like Freddie Highmore and Lewis McGibbon leading, the boys stranded on this island feel all the more real, So here is our third nominee of the night, Zgamer’s Lord of the Flies.
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage internationally renowned songstress and Academy-Award winning actress, Barbra Streisand!
BARBRA STREISAND: When we know an actor has been perfectly cast, it’s much easier to love their performance. Tonight’s nominated casting choices range from unconventional, to easy to imagine to “how’d they think of that?” The nominees for Best Casting Choice are…
Liam Neeson as Dr. Thomas Vexler in The Elysium Dream
Michelle Pfeiffer as Mama Rose in Gypsy
Joe Anderson as Kurt Cobain in Here We Are Now
Freddie Highmore as Ralph in Lord of the Flies
Kathy Bates as Deborah Harris in Our Family Exactly
And the Oscar goes to…
LIAM NEESON AS DR. THOMAS VEXLER IN THE ELYSIUM DREAM
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome the legendary Dustin Hoffman!
DUSTIN HOFFMAN: When a bait has one great performance, it’s a huge achievement. When a bait has two great performances, it’s a marvel. When a bait has great performances from every member of its cast, it’s a masterpiece. The nominees for Best Cast are…
African Falls
Convention
The Great Ordeal
High
The Night Shift
And the Oscar goes to…
CONVENTION
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome the Academy Award winning screenwriter of “Juno”, Diablo Cody!
DIABLO CODY: Film is a director’s medium. However, the director is nothing without a great script to back him up. Thankfully, the Academy recognizes the art of screenwriting. It is also an excuse to award one of these amazing movies. The nominees for Best Original Screenplay are…
The Blood Countess, written by Ronald Harwood
Book, written by Andrew Niccol
Convention, written by Richard Shepard
High, written by Peter Hedges & Chris Weitz
The Night Shift, written by Jeffrey Caine, David Arata & Debra Hayward
And the Oscar goes to…
HIGH
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome the founder of Bait an Oscar himself, Mr. Johnny Alba!
JOHNNY ALBA: For me, five baits this month stood out above the rest. They were…
The Blood Countess
Book
I Love Mammy
Owner of a Lonely Heart
The Thin Rope
Thank you and have a great evening!
ANNOUNCER: To present our next BP nominee, please welcome George Clooney.
GEORGE CLOONEY: In today’s society, we experience the torment that is sexual abuse, deceit, rivalry and sorrow. As we have learned from this next bait, it was the same back then. Written by Chris M and led by an all-star cast including nominees
Sean Bean and Vincent Cassel, the rivalry of two fellow noblemen has never felt this real or exhilarating. This is The Great Ordeal.
ANNOUNCER: To present the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role, please welcome Tilda Swinton!
TILDA SWINTON: In a month with so many wonderful performances by supporting males, it’s been an often debated issue over which one is the best. The truth is that all of these are terrific performances. However, the best of them all can only be determined by opening this envelope. The nominees for Best Supporting Actor are…
Vincent Cassel, The Great Ordeal
James Franco, Our Family Exactly
Edward Furlong, The Thin Rope
Ricky Gervais, Convention
Jeremy Irons, Paradise Lost
Liam Neeson, The Elysium Dream
And the Oscar goes to…
VINCENT CASSEL, THE GREAT ORDEAL
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome Academy Award winner Tom Hanks!
TOM HANKS: When you get right down to it, the purpose of the Bait an Oscar contest is to win as many Oscars as possible. And the following baits knew just how to do that. The nominees for Shameless Oscar Vehicle are…
African Falls
The Character of Marcia
Golden Gate
Gypsy
An Incestuous Story
And the Oscar goes to…
AN INCESTUOUS STORY
ANNOUNCER: To present our next award, welcome the amazing, multiple Academy Award winning star of There Will Be Blood, Daniel Day-Lewis!
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS: A bait’s press section is what pulls it all together. It explains unclear parts of the synopsis, dives into greater detail in the story and points out especially strong parts of the bait. Without it, the bait would lose any meaning it could hope to achieve. The nominees for Best Awards Campaign are…
The Boy from Oz
The Great Ordeal
Here We Are Now
The Night Shift
Owner of a Lonely Heart
Paradise Lost
And the Oscar goes to…
OWNER OF A LONELY HEART
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage the hilarious Kathy Griffin!
KATHY GRIFFIN: I’m A-list for the night! When I was looking at this month’s baits, there were just so many tearjerkers and total downers. So all I have to say is it’s a good thing we have social rejects, middle-aged depression victims and dysfunctional families. The nominees for Best Comedy are…
Convention
High
Our Family Exactly
And the Oscar goes to…
CONVENTION
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage the Academy Award winning star of “Junebug”, “Enchanted” and “Wackos”, Amy Adams!
AMY ADAMS: The synopsis of a bait is really where everything comes from. All of the bait’s power and punch lies within the story. The following baits resulted in greatness due to their unique, unconventional storylines. The nominees for Best Plot/Synopsis are…
The Blood Countess
Book
Cloth
Convention
Lord of the Flies
The Thin Rope
And the Oscar goes to…
BOOK
ANNOUNCER: To present the award for Best Actor please welcome Academy Award winner Kate Winslet!
KATE WINSLET: The great Laurence Olivier once said that an actor should be able to create the universe in the palm of his hands. This is especially the case this month, as the following six men were the center of the universe in their respective films. And what a universe it was. The nominees for Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role are…
Joe Anderson, Here We Are Now
Sean Bean, The Great Ordeal
Tom Cruise, The Thin Rope
Hugh Jackman, The Boy from Oz
Cillian Murphy, The Elysium Dream
Bill Murray, High
And the Oscar goes to…
HUGH JACKMAN, THE BOY FROM OZ
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage last month’s Best Actor winner, Jeremy Davies!
JEREMY DAVIES: In just five performances lie the ultimate extremes of human character. On one end lies the heroine that is Hattie McDaniel. On the other lies the villainess that is Elizabeth Bathory. And in between lays an internationally renowned author with troubles of her own, a rebellious mental patient and a persistent prison inspector. The nominees for Best Actress are…
Melinda Dillon, Book
Naomie Harris, The Night Shift
Alexandra Maria Lara, The Blood Countess
Kelly MacDonald, Dark Blue
Queen Latifah, I Love Mammy
And the Oscar goes to…
NAOMIE HARRIS, THE NIGHT SHIFT
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage Academy Award winning director Steven Spielberg!
STEVEN SPIELBERG: The director is the one with the plan. The one with the vision. The one that makes it all work out. The nominees for Best Director are…
Darren Aronofsky, The Elysium Dream
Marc Forster, Lord of the Flies
Spike Jonze, Book
Takeshi Kitano, Owner of a Lonely Heart
Ang Lee, Paradise Lost
And the Oscar goes to…
SPIKE JONZE, BOOK
ANNOUNCER: Our final nominee tonight has a very special presenter. Please welcome Andy Griffith.
ANDY GRIFFITH: Sometimes, the best way to tell a simple story is through a complex style. That’s the case with our last BP nominee. Written by veteran Connor Campbell, this is considered both his comeback bait and one of the best of the month. Led by the performances of Freddie Highmore and nominees Meryl Streep and Melinda Dillon, we are brought into the lives of the novelists as each try to finish their greatest work. So here’s to our final nominee of the night, Book.
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage last month’s Best Author winner, Alex S.!
ALEX S.: The Bait an Oscar community is many things, but above all, it is a bunch of authors. They are what makes the experience what it is. The nominees for Best Author are…
AJ Bell (Here We Are Now)
Connor Campbell (Book)
Hugo Manso (The Character of Marcia)
Josh P. (Paradise Lost)
Maia (Convention)
And the Oscar goes to…
WINNER
ANNOUNCER: To present our final award of the night, please welcome the incredible Robert De Niro!
ROBERT DE NIRO: Tonight marks the second anniversary of the Bait an Oscar Contest. And we, the Academy, are proud to present that these five baits mark five of the finest achievements in baiting we’ve seen in those two years. The nominees for Best Picture are…
Convention, written by Maia
Book, written by Connor Campbell
The Great Ordeal, written by Chris M.
Lord of the Flies, written by Zgamer
Here We Are Now, written by A.J. Bell
And the Oscar goes to…
BOOK!!!!!
Thank you to everyone who could join us tonight, and congratulations to all of the winners! Have a great night!
P.S. If you see Catherine O’Hara, Idina Menzel, Diablo Cody or Kate Winslet trying to get behind the wheel of an automobile, please do as much as you can to prevent them. Thank you and good night!
This message has been edited by oscarigloo on May 2, 2008 8:25 PM This message has been edited by oscarigloo on May 2, 2008 8:25 PM
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1. Book
2. The Great Ordeal
3. Convention
4. Lord of the Flies
5. Here We Are Now
6. Owner of a Lonely Heart
7. The Elysium Dream / John Milton's Paradise Lost
8. The Boy from Oz
9. The Blood Countess
10. High / The Character of Marcia
Honorable Mentions: Our Family Exactly, The Night Shift, I Love Mammy, Cloth, The Thin Rope, The Passion in Pain, Sunburn
This message has been edited by oscarigloo on May 2, 2008 8:39 PM
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Congratulations to everyone who won, especially Connor. Also, thank you all for the Adapted Screenplay win. I am very happy!
I want to give huge thank yous to Johnny Alba and Brian. Both of their assisstance was incomparable and very welcomed. I couldn't have done it without you two.
And let's not forget the chat's best moments:
-Nikki hogging the stage from Uma
-Zgamer drunkenly skipping a category
-The random drunkeness of almost all the presenters
-Javier telling Harry "Me gusta su baits"
-Divine resurrected from the grave
-Zgamer's bathroom excursion "Uno momento por favor!"
-The "Chris M cam" of the attendees
-Diablo Cody vs. AJ Bell
-Tilda Swinton vs. Cher
-And so many more that I can't even name them all
Wow, it was like a night at the Independent Spirit Awards!
Lord of the Flies
The NBR's #1 Ranked Bait of the Month
Nominated for 6 Academy Awards, including Best Director (Marc Forster), Best Adapted Screenplay and Bait of the Month
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thanks everyone who supported The Great Ordeal, I'm thrilled with my Supporting Actor win... and surprised at my #2 finish, that was awesome...good luck with MAY.
The ceremony was a blast, really fun.
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Thanks everyone for the support for my final bait, and congratulations to Connor as well, justly deserved. You are an excellent writer. I congratulate the other winners as well and thank you all for the one win. Even though many might not see it, I do believe Paradise Lost let me go out with a bang because there were so many who liked it or liked parts of it, and three nominations in the Big 8 aren't bad either. Thank you all, and good luck in the future.
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I would just like to thank Johnny Alba and all of my fellow baiters for being so supportive. Congratulations to all the winners and good luck next month.
Coming this May
RED HEAD
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Congratulations to all winners! The ceremony was extraordinary, and simply hilarious. There were many unforgettable moments, from Michael declaring love to Idina Menzel ("MARRY ME!"), to Nikki Blonsky stealing Uma Thurman's spotlight, to the drunkness of Kate Winslet, Idina Menzel, Diablo Cody and Catherine O'Hara.
Also my huge congrats to Connor for his BOTM victory with "Book". It was a very original idea. You were also extremely overdue.
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