There are only fifteen so far of the nineteen entered. The four unentered are as follows:
Pierre's "In Espanol"
T.D.'s "My Loving Family"
Maia's "Talking Heads"
Ryan's "The Understanding of Killing Man"
It depends whether I recieve these baits from their authors or from Johnny if they get posted, but they will be as soon as I recieve them.
Also, get to reviewing!
Let's get Metacritic started already!
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Okay, guys, just got a response from Johnny that he is not capable of passing on the baits without the author's permission. So Pierre, T.D., Maia, and Ryan - please get your baits to be immediately so you can get the reviews you want this month!
Send to
jerkwod_djh@yahoo.com
Thanks!
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The Painting - Fantastic, erotic, great casting, and a perfect Douglas Reese bait. This is the frontrunner of the month, and deservedly so. An original, artistic masterpiece. A
Titan of War - Well, if you intended on writing a bad Iraq war action movie, you suceeded. The casting is way off, except for Toub, who i think if campaigned right, could get a Supporting Actor nomination, but overall the "anti-hero" thing feels way too forced, with situations such as planting bombs on a nurserie and interrogating children. Overall, the story seems cliche and slightly 80's comedy-ish when you think about it (a group of misfit soldiers get sent to find a notorious villain) and the character of General Vanity isn't developed as well as it could be. I didn't like it. C-
Fall of Havilah - A perfect period piece. Another slam dunk from Brian. A great cast, flawless story, great everything. Second best this month. A
Grief Cycle - A really mature, good first bait. not the best bait ever, and i got a real Monster's Ball feel from it, but its a good vehicle for berry and it shows a lot of potential in you Eyal. keep it up, and we may have a new great baiter. B
Indictment - Wow, i was really surprised. A decent read. The best thing about this is the director choice. P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Hawkins is great as well. Well done Tony. B+
The Good Thief - A good family film, not too Oscar-friendly though. I like its not a musical, but it does seem a lot too much like a musical i have actually starred in, maybe you've heard of it. Oliver! haha. Decent read nonetheless. B
First Principles - Alex, you should have kept it as a lector bait. I didn't understand what story was going on, but it was an interesting read. Well written, and you can definately tell it was originally Lector. I'm this wasn't a serious bait for you, because as a pleasure product, its works ok. But as far as being a good bait, i'm not sure it is. C+
The Man with No Place - Granted, I am slightly dissapointed but this. I was expecting an amazing character-study and what i got.....wasn't. It was a good bait, nonetheless, and I dont know if you intended this, but was Ziyi Zhang's character a reference to Yoko Ono? I got that feeling. Hugh Laurie is definately well cast, and from the press section I got a feeling this was a comedy from the dialogue, and his attitude seemed too much like House, but it was a good casting choice. Gandolfini's better role this month, one he could have a chance getting a nom for. But overall, it wasn't as awesome as i thought it would be, but a good bait. B+
The Martyr - Pretty bland when it comes to baits. The casting is uninspired, and the directing choice is blah. The whole story just fails to be entertaining or interesting. Also, too many names with "E". It gets hard to read without falling asleep. D+
North-West Passage - Entertaining as hell. I'm not sure about the director choice, but I really don't care because it is written terrifically, James, and IMO is your best so far this year. Granted, i was not a fan of COBRA, but this is terrific. Eckhart is casted phenominally. Great Job. One of my favorites this month. A-
Someday this Pain will Be Useful to You - Surprisingly good. You have redeemed yourself from last month Evan. Almost as good as Curious Incident, IMO. Keep it up. But, one thing I don't like is the title. B+
Hokkaido - Jesus Fucking Christ, I can't take anymore Japanese baits. Can't you take the same story, and maybe put it in a less used, more interesting place? I've not seen any of the cast or crew's work, which tend to happen when they are Japanese, and the story itself just feels so blah. Seriously, everyone, enough fucking Japanese baits! But the bait isnt super terrible. D+
Children of Cain - A surprise. I was expecting this to just be okay, but it was actually very good. and baity. Super baity. I applaud you, for baiting Demian Bechir. he's on my ballot. A great casting choice. My only problem is the directing choice. He's a great writer(except for Babel. Hated it.) but directing wise, he got panned as a director. So i dont about that, but overall its a very good bait. B+
A Child Called "It" - Wow. I am seriously in awe by this. Mitchell, you give one of the best first baits this contest has ever seen. This is simply fantastic and heartbreaking. Its a shame this was a book first, since that slightly aggrivates me, because i hate book adaptation-baits, unless you really make it your own. But the way you wrote it really made up for it. Jolie is terrific, and i guarantee you have an oscar for her in the next 2 weeks. A-
with the exception of a few baits still missing from the blog, as soon as they are posted i will have reviews up. These are the same reviews you can see on Coffee and Cigarettes when all the baits have been posted. A Top Ten list will be posted.
also, FYC
Lovechild
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HEY! Great to see the baits are finally up, but unfortunately I can't send my bait in due to my busy schedule in college and work. Sorry guys but good luck to everyone this month! I'll be back next month =]
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The Understanding of Killing a Man - I have a lot of problems with this bait. First, the title is ridiculously stupid, considering it really has no importance in the story. The casting is off and misplaced. Winslet would be fine in the lead, but instead is placed in a role that is little more than a cameo. The story itself starts off really cliche, and just gets so stupid by the end it seems like it would have been a really bad joke (she wants to kill her husband by poisoning him and setting traps in their house, but it backfires and targets everyone but her husband. Ooooo the hijinks!). Not only is it filled with spelling mistakes, it is riddled with sentences whose structure is nearly incomprehensible. I wasn't expecting anything at all from this bait, but it really was just awful. Come on Ryan, prove you deserve to be in this contest. F
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The Understanding of Killing Man - There's no quality to be found in the writing itself, and the story is as uninspired as can be. It's about a woman who wants to kill her husband. Yawn. D
A Child Called "It" - Ugh! I've been meaning to use Laura Dern for literally like six months but I've kept putting it off, so inevitably, someone has to come along and bait her in the perfect role. LOL, anyways, great casting all around (except, of course, for Jimmy Crooke...that was a nice touch though), and Jolie and Dern will be enormous contenders in my book. Anyways, this is extremely well-written and is as heartbreaking and painfully real as the book it's based on. Very nice debut, Mitchell! A-
Children of Cain - Captivating and well-written, with a nice role for Theron as the Nice White Lady. There's no doubt in my mind that this is a good bait. B+
The Fall of Havilah - My Bait. N/A
First Principles - It's a nice, compact thriller, but I kept on waiting for it to go crazy and it never really happened. Not Alex's best but solid. B
The Good Thief - It's too juvenile both in plot and style. It would make a great children's movie, yes, but I don't look at it as Oscar worthy. B-
Grief Cycle - Is it original? No. But it's a good premise, and a great debut bait. It needs work to make it really stand out but there's a lot of talent evident in this bait. B
Hokkaido - It was well-written, but I didn't really connect to the plot or characters all that much. It felt a bit forced. C+
Indictment - I like that you used Vadim Pearlman, I've been looking to use him for a while. I don't like the casting of Sally Hawkins one bit, but I do like the story you presented. I don't LOVE it, but it's definitely solid, interesting and fairly original. B
Lovechild - High energy and just an awesome read. Great job, AJ. I just don't like the three director choices. A-
The Man With No Place - This definitely surprised me. I think this is one of your more moving stories, and the casting and writing was terrific. My favorite of the month. A
The Martyr - If you're going to bait something about European history, be very, very careful. This story has been told way too many times, with simply the names changed. C
North-West Passage - Inticing and pure entertainment. It may not be baity but it'll find several spots on my ballot. B+
The Painting - It's a well-written bait and the plot is pretty good, but the ending killed it for me, not because it was so erotic, but because it was...well...boring. I'd like to know more about your characters and less about how they fuck. It's still very interesting and well set-up though. B+
Someday This Pain Will be Useful to You - I hated Running With Scissors and this is certainly similar, but for some reason I liked this. It's not particuarly well written, nor does it have a great plot, but for some reason it hit me. B
Titan of War - It's a generic, boring war bait, and Gandolfini is miscast. C+
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Hokkaido – I am a huge fan of Japanese cinema, and this is a decent effort
at it. Sadly, the story falls short on being interesting, although it is
original. Great director choice too. B
Northwest Passage – an interesting, original and interesting take on a
Truly lynch-type idea. Casting of Robert Forster and Blake lively are
great! A-
The Painting – beautiful, and sexually charged. Great casting and perfect
Director. The best submission to the festival so far. A+
The Martyr – boring, unoriginal, and not well cast. I didn’t become
Interested at any point. There are also a lot of grammatical errors. D
The Fall Of Havilah – a beautifully written, highly detailed work. I
wasn’t put off at all by the length because it was all so interesting!
Good work! A-
Grief Cycle – LOVE the Halle Barry casting. Written well too. Great first bait! B+
Lovechild - a bait an Oscar masterpiece. AJ, this bait is amazing. The
casting is great, and the way it was written pulled at my heartstrings,
and made me smile " A+
A Child Called ‘It’ - not sure if Todd field is the best director for
this, and Ed sanders would be better in the lead. But it is very chilling
and well written. Great, GREAT effort, and an outstanding first bait.
B+
Children Of Caine - although interesting, it makes a lot of judgments
about people, which is risky. The cast is good, though, as is the
director. Good effort. B-
The Understanding Of Killing Man – oh… oh this is bad. I felt pain reading this because it was ridiculously . . . well, stupid. The cast was off, the director was off, and it is the most unbaity thing I have read in a while. Check spelling and grammar. It also has the worst tagline I have ever read. F
The Man With No Place – I really liked this bait. It had a solid cast, and a good directing choice. Hugh Laurie and Ziyi Zhang are definitely two of my favorite performances of the month. Good job. A-
First Principles – well written, and a decent cast. Casting of Daniel Craig was just short of brilliant, but the whole bait was just decent for me. C+
Titan Of War – boring and unoriginal, but with a decent cast and great writing. C+
Indictment – WOW. I wasn’t expecting this! Well, It IS Tony so I dunno; I probably was self consciously but ANYWAY. This was really good and I loved the cast and director. Hawkins is great! A
The Good Thief – Dillon Freasier is good, but the whole story was a bit unoriginal. Decent though, and I could see the effort. B-
Top 10
1. The Painting
2. Lovechild
3. Indictment
4. The Fall Of Havilah
5. North-West Passage
6. A Child Called “It”
7. Grief Cycle
8. Hokkaido
9. The Good Thief
10. Children Of Caine
love remains the same.
"Heartland"
coming soon
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messed up my top 10 haha
sorry. here's the revisedd
Top 10
1. The Painting
2. Lovechild
3. Indictment
4. The Fall Of Havilah
5. North-West Passage
6. The Man With No Place
7. A Child Called “It”
8. Grief Cycle
9. Hokkaido
10. The Good Thief
love remains the same.
"Heartland"
coming soon
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A Child Called It - Great pacing for a lengthy synopsis. The casting of Jolie and Wilson are spot on. I only had problems with the mother character. I know it's based on a book, but I need more than her drinking to for a reason why she acted the way she did. There's no real pay-off with her. The true criminal is the father character whom should have been more emphasized. You could have wrote this bait in two paragraphs as well. Definite contender for it's baitiness and intrigue. B
Children of Cain - A very different bait, with style. I like Theron, Bechir is questionable cos well, I haven't seen Guerrilla yet. A film I could see failing if not done right, though. But it takes you to unexpected occurrences and I was interested the whole way. Good press section as well where you really go into depth of your characters. B
The Fall of Havilah - You tell a very detailed and in-depth story, it's not until the very end when it truly becomes a synopsis for a film, it seems. I would have intertwined the monastery and the family to balance out the introduction more. At any rate, a smart story with great characters and I really really love the Molina and Sheen casting. Thompson was an obvious choice but smart to stick with her cos Ivory works her well. B+
First Principles - It's still easy to get lost in the synopsis, while extremely poetic leaves out crucial character introductions. But you can't help but feel this is the kind of film that would sneak in some acting awards here and there and be a quiet hit that only film buffs pay attention to. I like how you managed without Lector though and made it your own. B
The Good Thief - I like the atmosphere and the interaction. The problem is in the pitching of the ending, while you try not to reveal it, you end up doing so anyway and it's very anticlimactic, mainly because there's no key scene for the main character to struggle from. C+
Grief Cycle - I couldn't help but want to rewrite this bait, cos it has so much potential. I kept wondering, ya know if they really cared about her, they wouldn't keep leaving her alone, sending her to shrinks and hospitals. I hate doing this but what I would have done is build an estranged relationship with her mother from the beginning, after the death of her husband have her move in and the film becomes about them, while she deals with the guilt of feeling relieved he's gone. I dunno, it does have much promise and is very baity. Could even grab a Big 8 award or two. C+
Hokkaido - You're getting flack for another Japanese bait. Yeah, maybe it might be better for you to branch out, but it doesn't change the fact that you turn in well-written baits with truthful casting. The problem is in your plot. You set up a nice subplot with the racism which by the end turns into the main plot. The murder seems secondary. I think you wanted to focus on getting this woman to Hokkaido and giving her a change of heart, but this isn't the way to go. Through a questionable death looking for answers? Also, as I'm picturing this on the film scream, it's no doubt this story lulls when she arrives and spends a whole week talking to this woman she doesn't trust. A week on film? It'd make sense in a book but not in a film synopsis. And of course your ending that you don't deliver on, but put so much emphasis on in the beginning leaves everyone hanging and also your characters are sort of left hanging. Something drastic needs to happen for her to change and nothing really did. She should have found out the reason and that would be your payoff and tie everything together. Sometimes it's ok to give the ending. C+
Indictment - Priests go through divorce? That's my only question. lol. Other than that, I like the casting of your lead. Definitely, a more softer Tony wrote this. Austin Kinkaid probably had the day off. Almost an anti-"I Want to Live". I think the supporting characters could have carried the lead character more cos they take a real back burner in the storytelling. B-
The Man With No Place - My bait. That pays references to A Clockwork Testament by Anthony Burgess, an encounter with a stalker that Marlon Brando once had, Citizen Kane, Chicago bums I met walking to film school, and a few other cool things. Enjoy
The Martyr - While I love the use of such an original directing choice with Konchalovsky, I don't think this is that kind of film. It's like a safe HBO Mini-series with no real stand-out performances. Grammar mistakes are very apparent, unfortunately but if told write, or if you modernized it or made it more interesting than just a simple interpretation, you could have a real baity contender. C-
North-West Passage - I like how you combined the whole story into one concise bait. You changed a few things. Not sure on the Forster casting of Harry S. Truman. I'd have chosen someone with more of a temper or fire. I love the Eckhart casting. He could do wonders with that role which in my opinion is probably the greatest detective role ever. I was expecting a drastic change but you don't veer off as much as I thought you could have and should have. Quality re-telling though and I would definitely see this film. You hit the nail on the head with the choice of crew instead of going the obvious route with Lynch as director. B
The Painting - This is such a Bertolucci bait that you'd think Bertolucci himself wrote this as his outline for the script. You really bring the director's style into your bait or your bait just fit so well with his. Either way, it's a perfect pairing. I love the atmosphere and the way the characters behave. Reminds me of Last Tango in Paris, but more structured. Maybe could have been edited in a few spots but a very solid bait and strong frontrunner for a good month. A-
Someday this Pain Will Be Useful To You - A major step-up from last month's peanut. I hate to say you lost my support with the ending but you did. It was such an unexpected downer that really was no fair to the character or the audience. The last scene should have been in the middle of your story. All in all, a baity good effort with strong characters. C+
Titan of War - A really different war bait. Love the Gandolfini casting as a General. The story was good, but didn't stand out. I think it's cos you're missing another key battle scene, probably; something huge. The press section let me down. Not cos of how or what was written. It was all fine, but you left out mentioning The Dirty Dozen which I think is a huge influence on this story. B
The Understanding of Killing a Man - A pretty average story that doesn't really live up to the title. The press section is full of power words and cliches, but you do bring out why the cast and crew would work in this films. I see it as an indie film that few may see but could gather a following. C-
Top Ten
1. The Painting
2. The Fall of Havilah
3. Lovechild
4. Children of Cain
5. First Principles
6. Titan of War
7. A Child Called It
8. North-West Passage
9. Indictment
10. Grief Cycle
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IN ESPANOL
I found the concept cute and functional. I would personally have opted for a less descriptive narrative but I liked this idea and what you were trying to express. Good. ***
THE UNDERSTANDING OF KILLING MAN
Some times less is more. Too much detail and exposition is provided but the outcome is a bit weak and therefore, the 'big' moment you are trying to build up falls flat. I liked O'Toole though. *1/2
A CHILD CALLED IT
Ok, sorry. I know this is a novel and a real life story but you dont have to copy/paste the whole book overview! Your style is awkward (this is your first bait though) but your in-depth press section saves the day. Id like to see you work with original material next time. **1/2
CHILDREN OF CAIN
This captures the essence of Arriaga's previous work and the subject caught my attention right away. I liked Bichir and Theron. ***
THE FALL OF HAVILLAH
Just the other day I bought Howards End and The Remains of the Day. Ivory is a terrific director and this bait does him justice. I found this bait to be compelling, straightforward, elegant and mostly, not pretentious. This is a story that needs no decoration, fabulous work Brian. My favorite of 2008 at this point. ****
FIRST PRINCIPLES
Once again, too long and with so little substance. The crew is ostentatious and it doesnt serve the story (you seem to build stories totally around your crew lately). I enjoyed the execution as usual but the result is cold and hollow. I give you extra points for originality though. (**)
THE GOOD THIEF
This is excellent as an Oscar vehicle although an A-list talent was needed in the lead role to make it transcend the 'good' territory. Still, mission accomplished. ***
GRIEF CYCLE
It doesnt bring too much to the table but it works as a leading actress vehicle. Dont forget to mention what type of screenplay this is (even when obvious). **1/2
HOKKAIDO
Zgamer does video games, Michael does musicals... You do... asian films? I loved your past work Jeffrey but you must get out of the comfort zone. These stories begin to lose steam although the writing itself is impeccable. **1/2
INDICTMENT
The synopsis is intriguing but the press section is fantastic, a strong bait with appealing characters. Loved Hawkins in this, good job. ***
THE MAN WITH NO PLACE
I have certain issues with tv actors in these type of roles but I really enjoyed what you accomplished with Laurie and also, with Zhang. Still, I dont see this film ever happening cinematically but its a great work of fiction. ***
THE MARTYR
I would love to see Swinton doing this though I feel the bait needed to be more Elfrida-centric to seal the deal as a Best Actress contender. I enjoyed it. ***
NORTH-WEST PASSAGE
Its a bit plastic and the casting choices make my stomach ache but the bait works. Its intriguing (the way you chose to tell it) though I am boringly familiar with the source material. ***
SOMEDAY THIS PAIN WILL BE USEFUL TO YOU
For a moment I thought you had written a very unique story but then I discovered this is actually an adaptation. Regardless, I see potential in Cross (as an acting contender) and I find Cheyenne Jackson so sexy. **1/2
TITAN OF WAR
The story, I confess, was a bit boring but I thought the press section conveyed the films 'ambitions' very well and the way you market this bait and the talent you used is efficient. ***
As a courtesy, Ive chosen not to review certain baits and Ive also decided not to participate in anything that involves certain authors. Thus, this is my Top 10:
1. The Fall of Havillah
2. The Good Thief
3. In Espanol
4. The Man With No Place
5. Children of Cain
6. North-West Passage
7. Indictment
8. The Martyr
9. Titan of War
10. A Child Called It
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In order to achieve my review from Maia, I reckon I should give "Talking Heads" **** just to shut her up. But I won't do that because a shit bait... is a shit bait.
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The only thing I am very confused about is as to why you have to do this. I have never done anything to you - and you seem to be bashing me. What for? What have I done? I have respected to you, and never in any way disrespected you, up into the point of where you made that very ignorant post. What have I done? Seriously.
Peace,
Douglas Reese
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Hey Maia thanks for the review. Just wanted to let you know that the ending of the baits story is very different from the source materials ending. I just chase to leave the ending hanging and not reveal who the killer was. But rest assured, its not who you think it is lol. Again, thanks for the review though.
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Hey maia, did you see the September Peanut Nominations? I think you might find them worth a chuckle, since you obviously need some laughs to get that stick out of your ass
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Well, anyway...not to offend you, but I think it is pretty rude of you to do a top 10 and not even read all of the baits. I don't like Douglas or AJ (sorry guys), but I'd still give an honest review on their baits.
coming soon:
The Coldest Summer
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could someone repost the link to the baits..for some reason my comp won't go to website. Everytime I click on link it says "blog not found". Anyone else have this problem?
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review: In Espanol - if there was a clear motive for any of the characters, this bait would be MUCH better. sadly, the shallow characters draw away from the very promising story. C
love remains the same.
"Heartland"
coming soon
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Maia, normally I am on your side on these type of issues, but seriously it is very rude not to review certain baits because they are written by certain authors. Judge the bait on how you feel regardless of who wrote it. You are my favorite writer and I would hate for me to lose me respect for you over something meaningless and sophomoric.
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Talking Heads
Wow, i had already read this one a while ago, and i am actually surprised that this even got released. But what I dislike most about this bait(not it's cast, who are somewhat conventional. I mean Whoopi Goldberg, playing a black woman who is in with the white crowd. What a shock), its the fact that is horrendously pretentious. When reading it, i get this vibe that Maia said "Yeah, i know this is a shitty story, but its me, so people will love it" and then didnt even try to produce something that was worth any recognition at all. I mean, no body wants to see a movie about different people opinions on political matters for two hours(that's why nobody saw Lions for Lambs) and the characters are so cliched and one dimensional. Ok, the feminist and the sexist end up hooking up, surprises everywhere. This bait really just falls flat, and is an aweful wanna-be of Maia's other great ensemble comedies, such as Convention and Bootleg. If you come back next month, please live up to the standards you have set for yourself.
Grade - D-
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Lawrence Kasdan is a terrible choice for this, but I thought this was an enjoyable screwball comedy of sorts. A nice surprise. B+
Oh, and I've changed a few things about my top 10:
01. The Man with No Place
02. The Painting (really grew on me)
03. Lovechild
04. A Child Called "It"
05. North-West Passage
06. Children of Cain
07. Talking Heads
08. First Principles
09. Indictment
10. Grief Cycle
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I need your reviews of "Lovechild" and "The Painting" before I can put your scores on Metacritic.
So if you could review those, or even give them a grade only, that would be great so I can add your scores to the rest. Thanks.
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Talking Heads - Great tagline. Love the casting of Kline. I got a bit of a darker Broadcast News-feel here. Kadsan has always been hit and miss for me but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. I read this bait twice and I think it's well-written but it lacks a true arc in the story. You bring 'em all together and even conclude it, but I was hoping you were going to pull all the characters out of their comfort zones and I didn't really get that from them. Though keeping Kline's character the same throughout to the end is the way to go. B
In Espanol - This is more like a Nicholas Sparks novel than a Woody Allen film. As I could see the actors portraying the characters quite vividly, I don't think their actions fit with their personalities. Think motivation---for every action they take. Just like in acting in a scene, what do actors do? React. What would they do? Let the characters lead the way and not your imagination get ahead of itself cos that leads to plot holes which you have many. I don't mean to sound preachy but I've noticed that in your other baits. I think you need a lil more Father of the Bride and a little less The Notebook. C-
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LOVECHILD *1/2
While I can tell there was a lot of thought put into this bait, the attention to detail is incredibly poor and amateurish with horrible and obvious grammar mistakes/typos plaguing the narrative at all times. The story is not epic or relevant enough to merit creative choices such as the three directors, this is not functional and it ends up being and egotistical move that ultimately dooms the whole project. The press section is a bit choppy but Im sure time will help you improve your writing skills.
THE PAINTING ***
I get the Bernardo Bertolucci vibe but the cast is imo, 'flaccid'. The tagline is a bit conventional for such a provocative story though the narrative style is interesting (if most of the times pompous and unnecessary). My big problem is the press section, terribly condescending, but the bait is good despite its subconscious, yet fatal, snootiness.
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