From the looks of douglas's reviews, it doesnt appear to be a very strong month, but i'll judge for myself when I read the baits this afternoon. But hey, at least we have a couple new authors, and a decent ammount of baits. If we keep this up, and next month more of the regular's write baits(Alex S, Chris M, Brian, Perkins, James) then we appear to be making a comeback!
My reviews will be up this afternoon on Coffee and Cigarettes.
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of course douglas will give aj four stars. aj could write a bait about peeling string beans and still give him four stars. hmmm...personal bias perhaps.
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Please authors, enforce your own criteria and opinions while reviewing baits if this is possible. 2009 is a chance for all of you to correct past mistakes. Thank you.
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SMILE*
I believe this is not the first time I have told you this: cater to your audience, not to yourself. While good intentions are obvious, this bait is constructed under a fantastic (as in unlikely) scenario where nothing is logical or slightly believable.
BATMAN: PERSEVERANCE***
Its a bit thick for what it really is but most creative choices work (except for the random crew) and it is well written. Good.
WINDOWPANE**
Its an interesting anti-plot but it feels too calculated. Its a very cold read yet a functional vehicle for Mortimer (even when she is hard to like).
SILENT EYES**1/2
The story gets gloomy at many points and the main characters come off unsympathetic but it does feel like something Eastwood would do. Depp is an unusual yet refreshing casting choice.
THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT***
Though a bit long, the concept/setting are intriguing and the narrative is efficient as usual. The press section is particularly strong and the cast is well baited to probably lots of awards this month. Good job.
BIG BROTHER***
Jeffrey, you totally over-wrote your baits this month but thats a different matter. This bait is actually charming and has a feel-good quality about it that we rarely found this month. Its a quirky, exciting concept and I personally liked the casting of Marianne Jean Baptiste. Good.
DALMATIAN**
It relies too obviously on shock value and the narrative is used more as an excuse to write what we want other baiters to read and not as what this very cold, uncaring story really needs.
ADDICTED**
The cast, crew and story are put together a bit randomly but you offer a solid original lead character and a brave casting choice.
TALKING TO HER***
The story could use some ghost-writing (by any of our veteran writers) but it has heart, it is funny and genuine. I loved the Julia Roberts character and overall, this is a good Woody Allen project.
HOUSE OF BIN LADEN***
Very funny, if a bit highbrow, but the flawed casting prevents the concept from achieving a superior level. Michael Richards, its a No. Kal Penn is Indian, not middle-eastern so whats the relevance of seeing him in his first Arabic-speaking role? Anyway, as a Muslim I applaud your effort but farce is a genre hard to take serious and even harder to vote for. Still, good.
MURDER WITH WORDS***
It is, as you wrote, a nice little film by Woody Allen and features a solid ensemble. The concept is a bit over-the-top but reading this bait made me feel good.
ANGEL OF LURROCK**
I wouldnt be surprised if this bait needed some audit from the plagiarism-police although maybe thats just the way you chose to write your story. Either way, its an acceptable job for a newcomer.
ANEW***
A West Hollywood bait is a good LA synonym for yet another Bait an Oscar gay bait but I have to say this story, even if extremely long, builds up interestingly and provides a good arc for the Harris and Cheadle characters. Very subtle and compelling. Good job!
GODFATHER DEATH**
Its trying to be a Guillermo Del Toro story but its written as a pedestrian fairy tale. While some casting choices are convincing and it is something I would watch, I feel it was not properly baited.
12 ANGRY MEN***
Its a brave concept but thats all it can be, unfortunately. The awards campaign is well written and the cast is eclectic and effective. Good but perhaps too feminist for the male-dominated Bait an Oscar.
BE A MENSCH***
I like this type of stories and this one is well told and well condensed. Many will question the use of first-person narration but I feel it is appropriate here. Good.
MAJOR TOM*1/2
Very mixed/negative feelings about this one. While the writing is competent; this bait is all about concept and no substance. The humor is banal, especially in the press section, and your creative choices are partially weak. It does offer a plausible role for McGregor though.
THE PRICE OF HIGH SOCIETY***
This isnt really a Jane Campion bait but still, I found myself intrigued by its conventional story. Yes, it is predictable and by the numbers but it feels like one of those baits that would receive critical acclaim in 2006 or 2007. Its a solid, classy debut that needs obviously more work and expertise (which you will only acquire from writing more and more) but I loved the cast and I could see this as an Oscar film. Good.
TALK YOU DOWN***
I enjoyed your prose and the whole narration, while not perfect, feels more mature and focused than your previous work. Good casting of Deschanel although I have my issues with Owen in this role.
[TITLE OF SHOW]
It has a good spirit and it is well intentioned. I dont think the story has a lot of depth and the casting is predictable.
COWBOYS AND INDIANS**1/2
Good idea, quasi-effective execution. I liked Ben Fosters character and Gordon Pinsent was a good casting choice but I cant connect with something that doesnt personally appeal to me, which is this type of music.
A good start for 2009, my Top 5 this month is a bit surprising but Im happy that, for once, it doesnt feature any of the usual suspects:
1. THE PRICE OF HIGH SOCIETY
2. BE A MENSCH
3. ANEW
4. BIG BROTHER
5. TALK YOU DOWN
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I want to stop now this ridiculous proliferation of personal blogs/sites. You may use them for posting buzz-related articles but please, not for your reviews (or at least not exclusively). What's the point of having a forum if all the contest activity is being outsourced? We should just disappear the Bait an Oscar forum if this continues.
There are so MANY things going wrong with the contest, regarding some of our contestants, and we should all analyze what we are doing for or against Bait an Oscar while we still have a chance.
Please, think about it.
Johnny Alba
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I usually tend to post via blog because it's easier to read (bolding the titles and etc. is a help) but I can start to post here.
12 Angry Men (written by Chris K.)
RATING: zero stars
So let me get this straight. Mike Nichols, a powerful and respected director allowed whatever rights are given to him by Hollywood, cannot change the title of his film but still manage to cast women in the roles, beyond the studio's control? Fail.
Addicted (written by JG)
RATING: *
Paul Thomas Anderson is your biggest misstep here. He would never touch material this thin, and this flat. The cast is just scrambled, even though its only one with four, and the way you wrote the synopsis confused me, making me try to figure out what you were trying to tell. There's nothing here but cliches, and the fact that you say porn star in the beginning of your press section makes me worried that you really didn't think too highly of the character you were writing about.
ANEW (written by Sanford)
RATING: *
It's very long. Maybe too long to be describing the kind of small story it actually is. The casting is a little off, and the director choice is a little safe. This bait would have worked so much better with a shorter telling and a way different ending. Also, work a bit on the grammar.
Angel of Lurrock (written by Billy)
RATING: XXXXXXXXXXXX
I refuse to even star this shit!!
Batman: Perseverance (written by Tony)
RATING: ***
I applaud you for the capability of steering away from "The Dark Knight"'s existence. This saga is brilliant because it held its own before the film came out and now, manages to stand next to the blockbuster, yet aloof from comparing. Did I enjoy "Batman: Perseverance"? Yes. I really did. I thought it was a solid story with a nice cast (Jason Butler Harner most strongly) and I feel it stays with the mood set by you previously. Of course, my only major problem with the bait is the director choice, I cannot hold it against it. Predictable as it is, it still scores, and has a lot of things going for it. And it's a worthy conclusion to the Batman baits you have pulled together.
Be a Mensch (written by Chris K.)
RATING: zero stars
It's a story that doesn't ask to be patient. And when I'm through giving no energy to it, I am rewarded with nothing. I'm scratching my head and asking myself: "When should I go see "The Reader" again?" By the way, a much much much better film.
Big Brother (written by Jeffrey)
RATING: *1/2
Okay, so. Let me clear my mind before I go on. Wow. What a bad story. Every little moment that happens in the story is contrived. A woman who doesn't like the reality show is watching it at the right moment for us to glimpse are other character before she shuts it off. And then, coincidentally, both women will hook up as it goes along. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Horribly predicatable, and nowhere near riveting, or slightly admirable, as a story like this should be.
Cowboys and Indians (written by Evan)
RATING: *1/2
Once again, Evan, you nail the potential of subtley and simplicity - yet you go overboard with it. For example: "But after the show when Annas song was first performed, Ted and Anna, who where driving back to the motel, got in an accident. The bottle of whisky on the floorboards of the truck was almost gone, and they couldnt stop laughing. They never saw the flashing lights of the train coming on." But they didn't hear the horn? Or even realize they were parked on a track? C'mon. This is bad writing leading up to the convenience of them dying to alter an effect on the main character. The whole bait was like that! Why didn't you go with something more simple, and less convenient? You have it in your gut, man. Do it!
Dalmatian (written by Douglas Reese and Adrian James)
RATING: n/a
My bait.
Godfather Death (written by Chris K.)
RATING: 1/2
You should watch "The Seventh Seal". You ever seen "The Seventh Seal"? It's a masterpiece, dude, and deals far more better with the themes of death and poverty than you do here. Watch that film and come back to me on what you did wrong.
House of bin Ladin (written by D.W.)
RATING: zero stars
I have many problems with this bait, but the most important are the following three. 1) D.W. tries his best to be completely original, yet he brings on cliche after cliche. The fat boy grows up to be skinny routine? The falling in love with the boss' girl routine? The cleaning out shit routine? The dressing up as one of the the others to get into the lair routine? It's all been there done that. 2) The bruising fact that I really didn't find any of it funny. I was expecting something very clever, but what I got from it was a Mad TV vibe. And lastly, 3) What was so fantastic about Danis Tanovic's "No Man's Land"? Answer: How it mixed comedy in with drama, not letting either one blow full force. It could work for "House of bin Ladin", had it been remotely funny or even have some sense of emotion, or in some ways, be as original as the press section suggests. What's here is the kind of film I like seeing in Razzie nominations.
Major Tom (written by Adrian James)
RATING: ****
You hear things about the bait beforehand and you feel the urge to beat the person down writing it down with a wrench. A musical in space set to the music of Davie Bowie? For real? And then you read the way the story truly goes, and a feeling of pain, dread, devestation overcomes you. What a fantastic achievement. Both in how I visualize it (based on Tarsem Singh's marvelous visualizations) and feel it. You know a bait or film is amazing when it makes you talk sappy about it. This one's phenomenal.
Murder with Words (written by Douglas Reese)
RATING: n/a
My bait.
The Price of High Society (written by Ryan C.)
RATING: *
How typecasting can you be? Cast every British "biggie" you know, use Jane Campion (a woman of all people) to basically retell whast has already been told over and over again in adaptations of Jane Campion's prized novel "Pride and Prejudice". Next time, be more original, make casting less "big" (meaning as in big names) and make something worth appreciating. Also - work on writing more novelly instead of like your doing an analysis.
The Shadows in the Night (written by Jeffrey)
RATING: *1/2
Usually when a bait is written like highlights, it can be hard to piece together what it would overall feel like as a film. Sadly, this does just the same thing as every other bait written like highlights. One minute we are here, the next we are there. And in between those moments exists gaps of which seem more interesting than what is told. Characters here are flat, missing any drive to be interested in them, and when a story feels as jumpy as this one does, the overall effect the writer was working for is no longer there. Only the surroundings of it.
Silver Eyes (written by Jeffrey)
RATING: zero stars
You know how in television sitcoms - characters go different places based on the service of the plot; usually staying around in the same rooms? This is what "Silver Eyes" felt like to me. A dull, empty, flappy piece of cow dung, the worst bait I've ever read that was typed by the hands of Jeffrey. Flawed the story is, in that it really has nothing to be flawed about, and dull in the fact that it really starts at point A and ends at whatever comes before that. In the end, if one doesn't feel cheated, they need every part of their brain examined. A very disappointing month for Jeffrey, sadly.
Smile (written by Hugo Manso)
RATING: *
This coming from someone who actually listens to and really likes the music of Lily Allen: What the hell were you thinking?! It's okay that you bait Allen, but in a leading role this fast, even though we have no prior knowledge to how her acting really is? She had a brief role in "Elizabeth", sure. But Christ! This story doesn't even seem plausible. It's very contrived reading how she is happy-go-lucky one minute, and the next, she is just completely miserable. Boo-hoo. The worst casting choice since Akon, and unlike Lily, I hate Akon.
Talking to Her (written by JG)
RATING: *1/2
Not to be confused with Pedro Almodovar's masterpiece, eh? Anyway... This bait is a mess. Julia Roberts' casting is below average and uninspired, and Brad Pitt just feels wrong. Tina Fey? Seriously? And Paul Rudd? Huh? I could go on and on about the cast all day, actors actresses I like very much, but really can't see in their roles. And Woody Allen? I don't know. The story is far from Allen-ish. (Really I can't say anything here... but I did.)
Talk You Down (written by Evan)
RATING: *1/2
It's not at all believable that Zooey Deschanel and Clive Owen are of the same age. It's even more painful to see a possibly good, small drama be ruined by having some of the most random of contrivances. Why not do a bait that is original, yet simple and sweet? Or in this case, original, yet simple and dark? All that's here is, as you put it in your press section, difficult, yet in the way it feels hardened by unoriginality rather than emotional depth.
[title of show] (written by Evan)
RATING: *
Three actors from "Enchanted" is extremely distracting. And overall, this bait just doesn't work. I read it and I felt no plot. I'm not familar with the show, so I have no idea how to fill in the blanks. This is just not right. A bait or film needs to notice that the reader or viewer cannot understand what they have not seen or heard of.
Windowpane (written by Tony)
RATING: *1/2
I felt empty after reading this bait. Like I didn't have any kind of experience at all, which isn't good when it comes to who you have as the writer, and as the director. The casting is a mixed bag, but believable. Emily Mortimer is well cast, as is Debra Winger. Dylan Baker seems to have a character that has been done so many times before, I can't put a finger on why he didn't have any sort of depth. Sadly, he's the most one-dimensional character of the group. I think a lot to do with why I wasn't effected by the story is because I had problems trying to remember who is who and what is what in the synopsis. It's very jumbled, feels very rushed, and doesn't take time to actually invest anything. A story with lots of potential to be powerful, but instead just stays still.
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SMILE-*
The story wasnt really flushed out that well. When trying to explain things the writer wrote Somehow they found out, well Id like to know how? Also, it is really hard to believe that someone who cheated on their wife would be so ready to run back and ask for forgiveness, especially with the audience not knowing what happened between the attacker and the husband. Even if the attacker beat up the husband, how did the husband know that the attack was related to his wife? Did the attacker tell him this? If so, then wouldnt the husband be really angry at the wife and not run to her for forgiveness? I just think there are quite a few holes that need to be filled up.
BATMAN: PERSERVERANCE-*
I think the writing is good, but thats about it. It just feels like an imitation of the real thing that doesnt have the power of the best Batman film The Dark Knight. It may be hard to judge a Batman picture again after seeing that film, but the casting of Billy Crudup doesnt feel right for the part and the choice of director also feels off. When I read the bait it felt like the author may have been trying a little too hard to make a dramatic story more into an action story or an action story into a dramatic story. In the end, I just didnt feel anything for the characters and this bait felt like a lot of the summer popcorn flicks that are released.
WINDOWPANE-***
I love this bait. Some people have already started to criticize it, but I felt drawn into the story and I felt like I could relate to Mary and Sharon Bell. Tony has written a story where we can see and feel this womans inner struggle with what she has done and if she wants to do it again. This bait is in the same vain as such low budget films as In the bedroom. It takes its time rolling out this womans story, but in the end you leave wondering if this woman is really cured or not. I love how Tony has written this story so that the reader is never really sure if she has it in her to commit a violent act again. It leaves a great sense of tension on the page.
SILENT EYES-**
Im giving this bait two stars because of the brilliant casting of two big stars, Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron. This seems like the sort of against type role that Johnny Depp would be great at. The story itself seems like a slow and painful (in a good way) walk into hell. The whole bait itself felt a little like something I might find on Lifetime, but the idea itself is good.
THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT-***
This bait had me glued to my seat for quite a while. It felt like a race to the finish to see if this woman would really be executed or not. I thought the story was well thought out and executed (pardon the pun!). The only reason I didnt give the film four stars is because I didnt get a sense of really knowing the characters. I followed them in all the things that they said and did, but yet for some reason I didnt get a sense that I really knew and understood them that well. Overall though, the bait is good and I think this will be one of the top award contenders for January.
BIG BROTHER-*
I love the tv show Big Brother, but I felt like things happened in your bait that were kind of unlikely to happen. Why would this woman watch a show she hates? I hate American Idol and I dont go anywhere near that channel when its on. Also, why would this woman, by the way you describe her she sounds like a loner who likes her peace and quiet, want to talk to or associate with someone from Big Brother, the show she hates? The story itself seemed a little trite in places. Also, you have this woman mad and furious at Sadie for her theft and then you have this woman showing up to Kellys door with two flashlights, an obvious sign she cares, and then saying but whether or not they found the girl wasnt her concern. You make Louise sound like a cold hearted woman at the end, which didnt suit the story.
DALMATION-****
I was blown away by this story. I didnt think I would like it at all being as its about a killer, but I ended up feeling so many different emotions for the lead character. There was much back information so we, the reader, could know why he is the way he is and Kathy entered the picture so that we could get a glimpse at this mans softer side and his more loving side. I think this is one of the best baits of the month. I can clearly see this film being nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.
ADDICTED-**
The story itself is compelling, although a bit jumbled up. I really love the casting of Vera Farmiga. I think this kind of role is a real change of pace for her and seems like the kind of role that can bring her an Oscar Nomination. I think the casting of the supporting characters is well done as well, especially Franco. I think the thing that doesnt make this bait the kind of bait it could be is also the casting of the lead character. I just dont feel that Jacob Young could pull off this big of a role.
TALKING TO HER-**½
I commend anyone for taking on a Woody Allen picture. I think this bait does work on some level, but the story I think needs to be flushed out a little more. I loved the casting of Julia Roberts. This was a great decision. Overall though, it has the feeling of a Woody Allen picture, with none of the payoff that a Woody Allen picture usually comes with.
HOUSE OF BIN LADEN-½
I just think the story is kind of cheesy and boring. I mean, can people write nowadays about middle eastern people without making them into terrorists? I think another thing that worked against this story is the bad casting. It was hard to start to read the story after reading the casting choices. Overall, I think this is one that wont get close to the Oscars.
MURDER WITH WORDS-*½
I think this bait would have worked better if it wasnt a Woody Allen film. Whereas, Talking to her had some of the elements of an Allen picture, this film feels like another kind of picture all together. I cant picture Drew Barrymore as a screenwriter, a believable one. I also didnt really feel one way or the other over any of the characters. I think this film kind of felt to me like it would work better as a teen screwball comedy, if it were recast with teeny boppers. Good effort for trying an Allen picture.
ANGEL OF LURROCK-**
Im just not a fan of films set in the future, except Wall-e lol. I was able to get into the story though and did feel for The Wanderer. I also like how he has no name, it gives it a feeling like it could be anyone. I always have a hard time believing things that happen in the distant future because sometimes I just feel like, that could never happen. I did get that feeling with this bait, but the characters and director made up for that. Overall, a good first bait. Keep it up.
ANEW-**
I think this bait would have benefited for a pair of shears. I think the story was a little longer than it needed to be, but the idea is good. I loved the choice of director for this picture and also liked the casting of Ed Harris and Don Cheadle. These roles seem like they were created specifically for these actors. This film would have gotten another star, possibly one and a half, if it wasnt so long. I found myself praying for the ending to come and when it did I forgot what it was I was hoping would happen. A great idea, but just a little too long.
GODFATHER DEATH-½
I said it before when I reviewed La bella y la bestia. Trying to pull off a fairy tale story is hard to do, but where as La Bella pulled it off, Godfather Death falls flat. I think the thing that is missing here is the descriptiveness. If its a story based on a fairy tale, then it needs to feel like that. The only thing I liked about the bait was the casting of Bill Nighy as Death. I got such a perfect picture in my head of him playing this character.
12 ANGRY MEN-**1/2
I think the idea is great, but the title doesnt fit the story. This would be great to get a womans point of view on the story. I just had a hard time getting past that title at first. I thought, Oh, a remake of the classic. Then, when I saw it was all women, I thought shouldnt the title be 12 Angry Women? Overall though its a big bold step, that I like. I think it would be great to get this story from an all female jurys perspective. Good job.
BE A MENSCH-½
This story was a little too melodramatic. It also felt like something that has been done over and over again. I felt like the author was forcing it a little too much. Also, the line about how it was this old mans first time in his life crying made me reach for the barf bag. The choice of director doesnt suit the story either. Some of the best holocaust stories have had directors attached to them whose family had some sort of relationship to this even. Schindlers List had Steven Spielberg and The Pianist had Roman Polanski.
MAJOR TOM-**
I gave the story two stars because its a nice concept, but the casting choices and crew choices dont seem to fit at all. The story seems a little too big for the writer to pull off. Its a nice concept, but the follow through of it leaves a little to be desired.
TALK YOU DOWN-**½
I felt so many feelings for the two main characters. Evan you have really come alive in your writing abilities. Some parts of it did seem a little out of place, but overall its a great story. I love your casting choices as well. They are brave choices, in my opinion, that pay off.
[TITLE OF SHOW]-**½
Again, Evan you are really becoming a great writer. I thought this was a great idea for a bait. Its funny and cooky and out there. I just loved it. I wasnt thrilled about one of your casting choices though of Renner. He just didnt like the right choice for the part. Overall, Id say this was one of the best comedies though this month.
COWBOYS AND INDIANS-***
This, for me, was your best bait Evan. I fell for this story. I could feel everything as if it were up on a screen in real life. I liked your casting choices, except for Ewan Mcgregor. I didnt feel like he fit this type of story. Other than that though I think this was a very good bait.
TOP FIVE OF JANUARY 2009
1. DALMATION
2. WINDOWPANE
3.COWBOYS AND INDIANS
4.THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT
5. TALK YOU DOWN
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Smile, written by Hugo Manso - First of all, there are a lot of mistakes in this bait, but I can let them go since Englsih isn't your native tongue. But overall, this bait is unrealistic. This movie would never get made. Period. This is what I hate about baits that are based on a song. Especially one as hollow as this. But even if I forgive the story, the grammatical errors, and the lazy plot, it seems hard to forgive that in general, this is just not a good bait. You never go into detail about what Nahor does, and Keenan Thompson as a tough guy? He's on SNL. That's like having Mike Myers play a nazi rapist. It just doesn't work, on any points. D-
Batman: Preserverance, written by Tony - Man, what a fantastic bait. There is only one grievance I have with this, and it is that there are quite a few grammatical errors. But the baits overall power and sheer brilliance slides that to the back of my mind. The flashbacks were written nicely, the setup for the villain was as classic as they come. And the ending literally had my heart racing. Terrifically written, and the perfect end to a perfect franchise. (Wow, i went that whole review without mentioning The Dark Knight.....oh, shit) A-
Windowpane, written by Tony - I cannot figure out how this would look on film. I love the director choice. I love the screenwriter choice. And the cast is decent. But something about the way the synopsis is written, I can't figure out whether we see the stuff they are talking about, and the narrative is only there to be written in bait form, or that they are just talking about this stuff that happened while sitting on a park bench eating chocolates(yes, a Forrest Gump reference). The unclear method of storytelling makes me shy away from a fantastic grade, instead of a just a B-
Silent Eyes, writtten by Jeffrey - Eastwood doing another child-kidnapping flick? I would buy it a little, if it didn't seem like an episode of Law and Order. Thats my biggest problem with this bait. It is almost exactly like an episode of Law and Order(and believe me, I watch a lot of that show). Child goes missing scene, followed by unthorough police investigation, followed by suspecting the closest relative/person who was at first helpful, and followed up by the 'you weren't expecting this' twist ending. Too by the book. Too unoriginal. C-
The Shadows in the Night, written by Jeffrey - 1. I don't like the title. It feels ripped off of my bait from November 2. The story begins very cliche'd and unoriginal, almost Slumdog Millionaire-ish and 3. The bulk of this story is nothing we haven't seen many times before, except this time it's located in the middle east. This a really bland, boring, and unoriginal bait. D-
Big Brother, written by Jeffrey - This bait had a lot of potential be an original masterpiece in the veins of Book and The Family Soupe, but it was only after the first paragraph that I realized where it was going, and I didn't like it. The "friendship" storyline is weak, as is the daughter stealing. It seems really forced, and there is not one moment where I like any of the characters. The cast is fine, but none of the roles are good enough to garner any nominations from me. Overall, had potential, but was ruined by lazy writing/stereotyping. C-
Dalmatian, written by Douglas Reese and Adrian James - My bait, please enjoy
Addicted, written by JG - You're new, so I'll be easy on you. Paul Thomas Anderson doing a story about a young man who becomes a porn star? Where have I seen that before? The real estate twist is very boring, but its still a different take on an overused story. Vera Farmiga's casting is pretty bland, and Franco is completely underused. The only thing I like about this bait, is Jude Law. Its really a terrific performance for him, but I feel like this is definately not the right month for Jude Law to have a good performance, especially after last month's The Mystic. But still, its well written for a newcomer, and I can see great things in your future. Just stop re-writing Boogie Nights. C
Talking to Her, written by JG - I liked Brad Pitt's introduction to his character, but it seems like after that, you completely changed his character. Roberts' casting is fine, but the Tina Fey casting seems off for this. And Paul Rudd doesn't even make an appearance in the synopsis, making me believe he was wasted in this bait. This story is so wrong for Allen, and its frankly a really boring Baby-Mama-Drama idea. Didn't capture my interests, or my love. D+
House of bin Laden, written by D.W. - It starts off so promising, but then reduces itself to cliche's and really lame comedic attempts. Dressing in drag to fool a guard? Cleaning up shit? Osama bin Laden, one of the worst people in the history of forever, running out naked after sex because he was scared of a bomb? This isn't baity in the slightest, and with more originality and cleverness, this could have been awesome. But it wasn't, it was an extremely offensive episode of Scooby Doo. D+
Murder with Words, written by Douglas Reese - Eh, its so cliche and bland. Nothing about the story interests me, and it feels like the same recycled Woody Allen bait that we read every month. I don't like it. C-
Angel of Lurrock, written by Billy - Really great story, that kind of fades as you read it. A war torn Earth without the existance the USA? Brilliant. A bunker in North Korea used to aid refugee Americans in time of need? Awesome. The way the story just kind of drifts off, not knowing where its going? yea, thats what ruined it. Still, its very ambitious, and if re-done overtime, with a better plot and less ideas, its could be a masterpiece. But this is one isn't quite there yet. B-
ANEW, written by Sanford - It's really long. Too long. The story seems to go on forever, and nothing is ever resolved. So many questions left unanswered. What happened to the people who broke into Donald's house? Was there ever anymore mention of that throughout the bait? It seemed like a forced plot point that was only there to serve as a reason to meeting Michael. And then after that, it goes on to switch from an in-depth character study of Donald, to a murder mystery starring Don Cheadle, mixed with Donald meeting up with his sister. Clearly a newbie's bait, but it shows great potential for you as an author. But this bait was way too long, and meandering. C+
Godfather Death, written by Chris K. - I really liked this bait, but I think the casting of Sheen is off. That said, I believe the casting of Nighy is bloody-fucking-brilliant! Del Toro is great to direct this, but Del Toro directing fairy tales has been done in real life(see: Pan's Labrynth) and in the contest(see: La Bella Y La Bestia). But this bait, in the hands of a more accomplished writer, could have been a masterpiece, but hopefully this will prove to be a great start for your baiting career. B+
12 Angry Men, written by Chris K. - Ugh, this offers nothing new, except a gimmick. I don't respect baits like this, and the cast is entirely too bloated. D-
Be a Mensch, written by Chris K. - There was really nothing new about this bait. Holocaust story, told in flashbacks. Ooooo exciting! The director's choice is really uninspired, but you are a new author, so hopefully your next adventure won't be as unoriginal. C-
Major Tom, written by Adrian James - My bait. Please Enjoy!
The Price of High Society, written by Ryan C. - It feels like nothing really new. It is written very "step-by-step"-ish, like this happens, then this happens, and then this. It is quite boring, but nonetheless, its good for a first time baiter. I can see you going far in this contest Ryan, but not if you do more British society period pieces, which are never too original, unless its The Fall of Havilah. C
Talk You Down, written by Evan - Ugh, so many problems with this bait. 1. Clive Owen and Zooey Deschanel falling for each other in high school? Isn't Owen like 40? And the story leaves much to be desired. You seem to focus more on the fact that she is going to jump, and less on a story of believable movie length. This feels like a short film, not an entire one. Not the best. C-
[title of show], written by Evan - I hate the title. It makes sense, but its trying way too hard to be quirky. Thats exactly how I would describe this bait. Its trying sooooo had, that it starts to be annoying, much like Juno. But what Juno has that this doesn't is a story. This isn't really a story I would want to watch play out. The characters are annoying, and miscast. Idina Menzel should never be put in a bait ever again. This bait just annoys the crap out of me. D-
Cowboys and Indians, written by Evan - I don't like the first paragraph. At all. It really seems forced, and downright mean. Like it doesn't care about the character its talking about. Secondly, Rascall Flatts sucks. Their songs all sound the same, and to have a musical based on their music is like having a contest between Lucky Charms and Marhsmallow Mateys. Its the same thing, so why bother? The cast is off, by a lot. And the director choice is soo unoriginal, its almost upsetting. Not that good Evan. C-
TOP TEN:
1. Batman: Perserverance
2. Godfather Death
3. Angel of Lurrock
4. Windowpane
5. ANEW
6. Big Brother
7. The Price of High Soceity
8. Cowboys and Indians
9. Silent Eyes
10. Murder with Words
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Addicted
This was a bait to me that would have been stronger with a different director, PTA would not do another film about the adult industry, he had touched that subject and accomplished something great, why compromise that? So that is just unrealistic in my eyes. I applaud you for using an up and coming actor in this film, that is refreshing, I wont judge the fact that used a soap opera star, I used a tranny in my bait last month, so go for it. Realistically the baits best chance for recognition is for Vera Farmigas Oscar friendly role as the suffering wife. Good luck this month, I hope you continue to write baits.
Grade: C
ANEW
This is a strong bait from a new author. While it is long and rambles in some sections, you show potential that is promising. The Haggis direction is a bit safe to be honest, but he works here. The cast is sufficient. Overall the bait works, nice job.
Grade: C+
Angel of Lurrock
I dont think I have read anything this depressing since NIGHT by Ellie Wiesel. This bait surprised me; I liked the casting choices you made and the crew. The synopsis had a flow to it so it wasnt a chore to read it, it definitely held my attention. I think you sold yourself short on your press section; it was to abrupt, I wish I heard more about the creative choices or the performances, it came off a bit bland. Overall nice job.
Grade: B -
Batman: Perseverance
I have always admired the sophistication and appreciation you put towards your Batman baits. The story is balanced with action that you would expect in this film with drama that allows the bait to succeed and not become another Action movie. I think Crudup is the right person to wear the famous cape and is deserving of an Oscar nomination for his complex Bruce Wayne. All things come to an end, and you delivered a nice ending to a successful series.
Grade: B
Be a Mensch
Ricky Gervais jokingly said that to win an Oscar, make a holocaust film, well you somewhat have succeeded. While I think the bait is somewhat sloppy and sappy (a front runner for Shameless Oscar Vehicle) you successfully baited two actors for acting nominations. The director choice is iffy, but I think it could happen. This is definitely the type of fair that the Weinstein brothers would attempt to sway Academy Awards voters. Nice Job.
Grade: C
Big Brother
This had potential to be a nice little bait, but the length destroyed that for me. It just felt like it was dragging on. This is a bait that would have benefited tremendously by being written in the old style (one or two paragraph synopsis) and tight press section; frankly the story was not strong enough for that length. I think you did successfully bait another actress contender in Marianne Jean-Baptiste who plays the unlikeable reality contestant Kelly. That is an accomplishment this month, 3 strong contenders for Actress nominations.
Grade: C-
Cowboys & Indians
Another bait based on the songs of a contemporary artist. To be honest I do not see this film as Oscar fair, or in that case, I dont see this film being made at all. It just seems somewhat pointless. The characters dont have much to them, why should I be interested in them, they are all one note I feel like more time and consideration, this could have shaped into something a bit stronger, it feels rushed. The lopsided Synopsis and Press doesnt help either.
Grade: C -
Dalmatian
I had read a few reviews that said this was intended to be shocking, and it is. Could it have been watered down a touch, yes, but it ultimately serves a purpose for this complicated character. I could definitely see Afflek in this role, and he would deliver a strong performance, Afflek is a contender this month. The Dalmatian is a nice metaphor for his character and his spotty life. Carrie Anne Moss is a nice addition to the cast, but who plays her daughter? The daughter is mentioned and featured prominently in one scene. I had a small issue with that. While this doesnt match up to the caliber of previous accomplishments like The Painting and Shadows of the Sun the bait ultimately delivers like Blake Jensens UPS employer.
Grade: B-
Godfather Death
Reading this title I went in with low expectations, its just wacky, but reading the bait you did a nice job, making up for that. Del Toro working on another fable, please say it isnt so I think that you could have picked another suitable director for this. The cast is decent. I think you show potential as an author and I look forward to reading your continued work.
Grade: C -
House of bin Laden
DW, you are arguably one of the top authors on this site, with a knack at writing that few can touch, and this month you have yet again produced another well written bait and strong press section yet something feels a bit off, not everything connected or meshed like your baits usually do. I do applaud you for casting Michael Richards as Bin Laden, its nice to see him getting work again; its a perfect role for him considering he has been trapped in a cave for a few years himself. Thinking of him in that role I thought of Dangerfield in Natural Born Killers, I hope that makes sense. Overall its well written, and you will surely find awards attention and a Best Casting Choice nod from me.
Grade: C
MAJOR TOM
Another film based on an artists music. This was an interesting adaption, I think you succeeded in making this original, making it more Tommy by the Who rather than Spice World by the Spice Girls. The cast and crew make sense and would work. The writing is well done. This will most likely be a contender this month. Nice Job.
Grade: B
Murder with Words
I feel like dusting off the old frying pan Doug, haha Honestly, this is not a great bait, this feels like something you wrote just to submit this month for the sake of submitting. The characters arent as developed as in your other baits, something we as readers have grown accustomed to. I do like the casting of Tracy Ullman, she was excellent in Small Time Crooks and I would like to see her reunite with Allen again. Ullman is your strongest chance in my opinion for a Big 8 award nomination, so campaign the hell out of her.
Grade: D
The Price of High Society
This turned out better than I had expected, reading a rough draft not too long ago. Its a nice period piece, while a bit long, works. Its a nice job on a first bait. I think the cast works for this, although I would have liked to see someone other than Knightley cast, there are more British actresses in their early twenties besides her. I could see this getting some awards consideration this month. Nice Job.
Grade: C
Smile
I read this bait with an open mind, and gave you the benefit of the doubt, but this was not executed well. Good intentions do not equate success. The idea of adapting a song from an unproven artist is a bit ludicrous. This is not The Wall or Yellow Submarine, or even Across the Universe which are based on entire albums or a catalog of songs, this is based on one moderately successful song, and what makes this all the more ridiculous is that you have someone who barely writes her music, write a screenplay, and act as well. The casting and crew dont feel right for this project.
Grade: F
The Shadows in the Night
This is a very baity project that you executed well (no pun intended). I must admit I am not familiar with the cast or crew so I went IMDB for help, and I think you were quite sufficient. Atossa Leoni is all but assured an Oscar nomination for her role as Zarmina. As the bait is long I find this more justified than your previous baits length. Nice job, definitely a contender this month.
Grade: B
Silent Eyes
This bait was an interesting read, it made me question itself numerous times, which I will explain. I questioned the story at first, as it treads dangerously on the line of FILM or TV movie; I ultimately believe this would work for a film based on the caliber of Charlize Theron. I question the choice of direction, at first I accepted it, but rereading the bait I just couldnt get past the fact the Eastwood tends to stay away from storylines he has directed before, this has that been there done that feel, so I would have used a different director, possibly a small indie director, which would be in step with projects that Theron chooses (Monster, North Country, etc). Also this bait was too long and overly descriptive; it read more like a short story than a film. The saving grace is that you are a talented writer and the press section was strong.
Grade: C
Talking to Her
This bait to me is vanilla, just incredibly plain. When choosing director Woody Allen I expect some quirky characters with zany plot twists or some incredibly dramatic arc, but its lacking those. I dont think the cast is suitable for these roles. Tina Fey is incredibly miscast. To me she is like Bruce Springsteen, meaning that when she performs material she has written she is on top, but when she takes on someone elses material its not that great (I have been to many Springsteen shows so dont hate on that comparison). I do see much potential in you though, you told a story that moved from start to finish and it had a plot, it just didnt work as an Allen vehicle.
Grade: C-
Talk You Down
You know I have a bucket list and one of the things to do is take acid. After reading this you have helped me accomplish that goal. I honestly had no idea what was going on. You mention that the bait is in vein of Jacobs Ladder, to me this is just nonsensical. I think a little more plot and character development this could have been something, but after reading this all I am left with is scratching my head wondering what did I just read.
Grade: D
Windowpane
This was an interesting story that is driven by a strong female lead, Emily Mortimer, who will most likely receive awards attention for her intricate role as the former child murderer. I think Patty Jenkins is a good fit for this film, but its also going to bring comparison to her other female murderer bio, Monster. I dont think the writer choice works for this project; I think it would have made more sense to just use Jenkins as well. Overall, good work.
Grade: C+
12 Angry Men
This was an interesting spin on the classic Reginald Rose play and I give you credit for taking a risk, but I feel that ultimately, it doesnt pay off. In the synopsis you successfullypaint me a picture of the jurors, but what is the case they are hearing about pretend like we havent read the play, I need to know what the trial they heard is about. I do see Glenn Close getting a nomination for this.
Grade: C
[title of show]
At first glance I thought the title was titty show my apologies. Its a decent bait that I feel you assembled a workable cast that would perform well in these roles. I honestly havent heard of this show and it seems like it would be entertaining. My concern is how would this transition on screen. It doesnt seem like plays and musicals have been doing that well when they go from stage to screen, and this seems like it would be complicated to make work. Overall nice job on this bait.
Grade: C
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Smile - Grammar errors in the last paragraph. Also, Kenan Thompson as this psuedo-hitman/scareman? You don't even give any juicy details on what he actually does. You easily lose sympathy for your protagonist towards the end when you taint her with the murder. I really don't get where you wanted to go with this story though. This wife was so happy then finds out she has a dark side and sorta likes it until ultimately and inevitably the dark side comes back to haunt her cos eventually one will go overboard, and it does, cos the chick dies and she's now got blood on her hands and turns back to being miss innocent asking for help from the one person she completely loathes, her cheating pig of a husband who she had just thrown out and who knows she was responsible for the death of his mistress (yeah he's gonna really help her...)...Now, I don't normally like or ask people to respond to my reviews, but answer me this...does that make any sense whatsoever? F+
Batman: Perseverance - A great story. I always found comic books and it's heroes and villains a huge untapped source of great unappreciated stories. Of course that is until the Dark Knight showed everyone what's what. A well told bait and Harner is a nice original casting choice. The fact that what we can do now in adapting comic book stories is amazing and this one can no doubt be turned into a film but I get this massive animated feel to the bait much like Mask of the Phantasm, which in it's own right was one of the best pieces of film, animated or otherwise of the 90's. Still though, what we have is The Dark Knight's template and you simply can't ignore it anymore, but I like how you don't compromise and stayed true to your own Batman saga. B
Windowpane - Knowing the story and reading over yours, I probably would have constructed it differently but what you have is very effective coming from the point of view of others who are introduced to her dark past. I thought Emily Mortimer is fantastic casting and your director fits. I really like how you try to fit the convicted murderer into regular society years later, and the fact that every knows it and has reservations yet still under society's standards tolerates her. It's great social commentary, sort of Woody Allenesque, if that helps. Anyways, other than the delivery which could have gone in so many different directions, this is a fairly good bait, that BAFTA would eat up and the Oscars would taste. If they took in a Monster they could definitely take in Windowpane. B+
Silent Eyes - I'll start with something very simple and maybe it's trivial but it effects the storytelling. The character of "Jimmy" is a cop, but you don't know that until like the third paragraph. When one becomes a cop they receive what is called a rank. I think you should have given "Jimmy" the title of Det. or Sgt. or Lt. or just Officer. That would have been helpful. Also, I'm sorry to do this but another huge plot hole...the sister Isabella knows so much of her sister yet doesn't know of her own niece's disappearance? And then we get to the end where you basically say that the beginning of your very long bait is a waste of time. There's no remorse here, I don't end up caring for anybody. Officer Jimmy is your sole protagonist and he's duped all along the way and can't even figure it out on his own. Apparently the secrets lie in their eyes, but still that really doesn't help Officer Jimmy because their actions, not their eyes put the characters in the situations they are in. Maybe I missed something but this bait and story doesn't work. D
Shadows in the Night - Another exhausting bait that coulda been a contender with some edits, you let fall on deaf ears, cos you can't help but nod off half way into the story. Less is more, my friend. The story though is like a dummed down version of "Not Without My Daughter". Your press section is effective and would have been quite complementary to your synopsis if you had just summed up your story. Dragging it out in tiny paragraphs doesn't make it seem shorter either. Reminds me of those chapter headings in baits and other little tricks authors try to use that don't really work. C+
Big Brother - The story is a bit dated but at least it makes some sense. I actually think it'd work better as a tv show, funnily enough. Again the synopsis is long winded, but I can tell you did some homework for this bait and paid some mind to it with your nod to British culture with the East Enders and your suitable casting. A bit surprising but when I think of Oscars, this falls short. B-
Dalmation - Casting problems in the fact that you didn't cast the daughter Leanna, and you didn't even cast the father who in the story rapes his sister when he was younger, so reading the synopsis and picturing it as a movie in my head I assume that it's a flashback. But now i think it might not be since you didn't cast him or didn't even really dive too much into his character and then I think maybe you should have...Small but key elements missing, in the end. Another key element that was mentioned but not delivered well was the dog's role. I get and it's evident in your press section but you could have said less and meant more within the story and how it relates to his personality and who he is. The delivery and casting problems are what keeps this bait from a BP but I like your premise. C+
Addicted - The beginning is very cliche sitting down to write his "memoirs" and then SCENE!..Though, cliche you would have saved face and penned the "memoirs" from the characters point of view in his words, but instead you go down that drab road of typical he did this/he did that jargin. And when I think of P.T. Anderson, I think epic or broad and now after TWBB, probably on another level of directing where this kind of indie material is sort of been there done that, something that he wouldn't touch. C
Talking To Her - Note to everyone I say this to who needs to edit their baits, this is what I'm talking about. Unnecessary, overly detailed things that don't matter or could be said in a couple of words such as this sentence from this bait, "Some nights, she sleeps at her office instead of returning to her empty apartment in order to get a head start on the next day's work." <---a waste of reading. Just say, "She's a workaholic". Or if the scene or situation in the synopsis calls for her to wake up in her office just say, "wanting to get a head start, having slept the night in her office she awakens to a horse's head...". But if you include that sentence, well then you don't really need to label her previously as a workaholic, she obviously is if she does that. So pick one PLEASE! Onto the actual story, romance is very pornish, meaning hooking up with the fix-it man, I caught myself laughing at the thought of the guy asking her out "so, i got your lights turned on, how about you flip my switch and turn me on."....then they get married soon after. Pretty absurd. What is more absurd is your lack of an actual STORY. How about something that doesn't happen a million times everyday that nobody wants to experience. Yes, we know stuff like this does happen and it's sad. Babies die all the time and husbands and wives have problems talking to eachother and dealing with having kids, but cinematically it's BORING. Woody Allen could adapt the phone book into a film, but I doubt he could get two lines from this non-story. Really, what is the point of this bait, that this electrician, her husband is the only person she can really talk to? I think that's how it's supposed to go in life. F
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Murder with Words - A bunch of characters introduced under the guidance of Woody Allen...I really don't need to spell out what is wrong with this bait because you do that yourself in the press section. As if you broke the rules on storytelling. I didn't feel duped, I felt like my time was wasted because I know Allen is a Star, and you wrote this like an Octagon. It doesn't work, period. D+
Angel of Lurrock - This is like Children of Men meets Demolition Man, I guess. But at least they had a point. Your characters have back-story but what they don't have is motivation. What are they trying to accomplish, where is the development in their character. The actions and sequences are there but for what?
Anew - You painstakingly detail the characters emotions to unbearable lengths. Yes length again. But you do all this and bring your characters to these feelings and conclusions without really noticing the biggest flaw in the whole story...how they got there. A cellist gets robbed and for some really awkward reason he becomes buddy-buddy with the cops. This is a boring guy who plays a cello and he's gonna have the personality to persuade a couple of cops to be his buddy overnight? Have you ever met a cop? When does something like that ever happen? That scene is also sort of homoerotic which would chase the cops away in an instant. I think this story needs anew beginning or it doesn't have any legs to stand on. C
Godfather Death - Brothers Grimm fairytales always seemed sort of hokey to me and only really work if you can adapt it subtly. But you disguise nothing. Basically you wrote out a story and didn't bother ADAPTING anything, no cinematic feel to your storytelling whatsoever. It's as if I read it out of a book, not a possible movie summary. C-
12 Angry Men - It doesn't work from the title to the story to your press section. It's poorly executed. There's a reason why it's 12 Angry Men cos nobody wants to listen to 12 women argue over anything whatsoever. There's not enough patience or tolerance in the world for that, my friend. D+
Be a Mensch - I see your subtle and simple father/son story working out and having meaning but you forget to parallel Les' life with his father's meaning how does he relate to that or is affected by this in some way. So he finds out his dad was kinda special, yeah ok. That's it. I'm proud of my dad too. But what makes THIS so different and intriguing to the point where it should be put on screen and be up for Oscars? You're missing that. Also the casting of Schiff is fairly poor, mainly cos he's just not that great of an actor. C-
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Major Tom - It works except for the fact that Rory Culkin is like 20 years old. The director choice fits though he's quite inexperienced to pull this off to an Oscar. I really thought the balancing of the boys fantasy and reality was very clever and thought out. Some definitive miscues but the name-dropping of Rocky IV hits a particular high note for me which in turn balances out some of those negatives I've stated. Probably a sure-fire contender this month. B
The Price of High Society - Your bait would have suffice without that last line, which in fact sort of ruined the integrity and flow of your bait. It's like someone doing a decent job with the star spangled banner but following it up with a burp. Your story is art. A painter isn't going to write at the bottom of his painting, ON the painting what the painting is about. No way. The story seems a bit old fashioned, without anything remotely exciting to like about any of the characters. Hugh Jackman is out of place, Keira Knightley is a yawn. This is a story that is in desperate need of a backdrop, a war, a riot, something to up the anty for these characters, otherwise it's just Titanic's plot but on land and without a huge catastrophe. C-
Talk You Down - Half your story is told in flashbacks, yet you cast Clive Owen. You would have benefited from casting a young adult in the role, 25 or so who could be seen as both. I think you could have had a good story about a woman struggling to love her child either from mental illness or PPD. The title is so cheesy it makes me constipated. It's not a total mess but it's not far from being one. C
title of show - A bunch of inside theater jokes put to film? I thought 12 Angry Men with all women was a bad idea for a film. D-
Cowboys & Indians - Glaring typo in the first sentence of the synopsis. The story gets really promising and decent though. Up until another awkward guy-guy friendship is sparked suddenly on the cuff and got a motel room to write songs? Erm. Still though a good start other than that, then he goes back home, though he's not a star and everyone still hates him really but like his mom and sorta his dad. I thought you were gonna turn him into a star because of the song he wrote for his childhood friend who's dead but he doesn't want it released but it gets released without his approval and he tells the label to F off and he goes back home and they try to throw a parade for him cos he's like a celeb now but he finds it all hypocritical and can't accept them this way...and so on...But you don't go down that road. You enter the a place much more morose and drab and sort of non-cinematic. Also, I paid more attention to that french fry i dropped on the floor at lunch than you did writing your press section. Could have gone much further with this bait had you did. C
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SMILE
- First of all, Lily Allen is doing way, way too much in this bait. Secondly, there are two things in this world I can't picture. One of them is a chinese guy named Rusty, and the other is Kenan Thompson being a convincing bad ass and "torturer" I guess. All of the casting is off and not that it matters, but the director choice doesn't fit. D-
BATMAN: PERSEVERANCE
- Mine. Feel it, feel it.
WINDOWPANE
- Mine again.
SILENT EYES
- There's a lot of unnecessary details in this one that could have been condensed and focused more on important plot points. Anytime there's a kidnapping theme, it's always intriguing, because I'm curious where the story is going to go because every kidnap bait has to have something unique. Problem is, there isn't enough depth in the story. It seems like the ending just came out randomly and uninspired; if her daughter was sick, she could have just been with her. But of course, if she wasn't, there would be no bait. C-
THE SHADOWS OF THE NIGHT
- Sounds like the movie would drag, a lot. And judging by the way you wrote it, a very long film. Which usually isn't a bad thing, but when the war is the only thing that dictates what the characters do, it would seem like an eternity to watch. I would have been fine if you cut out the finding of the daughter in the last bit of the bait and just had the audience in question whether she was a live or not. That would have been bad ass. The casting isn't strong, but it'll suffice. Overall a good bait to read. C
BIG BROTHER
- Am I supposed to feel sorry for a reality TV star? How they react on television is their own fault for the backlash from idiotic reality TV goers. If she wanted to act like an asshole on television, so be it. That just shows how weak and brainwashed she is and no one could feel sorry for someone like that; so, there is no caring here. The conclusion also didn't work for me because it relied on the mother/daughter relationship, and judging from how pricky the daughter is, I highly doubt the reality success made her steal like any pricky daughter would do. I understand it's a comedy, still, the characters actions are flawed. Pam Ferris is so miscast and terrible that it makes the other two casting choices seem reasonable, although they are not. I don't even think Pam Ferris would think she was capable of playing a lead in any film worthy of Academy recognition what so ever. D+
DALMATION
Dude, you guys totally went the "let's feel compassionate for him because he loves his dog" angle, which is an easy reel for me. Unfortuantely, I felt more sorry for the dog than any of the characters. As the bait went on I read the cliches that the press said it avoided, but the bad childhood "this is who I am" piece threw that idea out the window. Some of the wording was strange I thought, more strange than the lead character, such as "little families." Too many details that do not need to be said for us to know what's going on. Although the director choice is unconventional, I could see it working. Of course, Affleck would nail the part, but it's not a big stretch of a role. The violence tries to overdue itself in the opening paragraph. By saying he's taking teeth out one by one, we don't need any further more details about the victim being toothless. Also, the killings would make the same impression without the teeth pulling, in fact it may have been more effective with just rape. Honestly guys, it's the fictional story of "Dahmer" with a more known lead. I do like Moss though. C
ADDICTED
- I don't even think the brilliant mind of PTA could help the dreaded soap opera actor. You could have easily found someone else. That being said, you didn't go into much detail about the characters, just what they do. It's too simplistic of a story and the characters are flat for PTA and the rest of the cast to sign on. The writing is good, but just needs juice. C
TALKING TO HER
Starts out with loads of potential, the casting of Roberts is good and Pitt is okay. I was really intrigued as I continued reading, but the story didn't progress in the least bit. This time you definitely did let us know the emotion of your characters, but it just takes the typical approach to preparing for a child, then losing it. Which would have been fine if you added on to your conclusion. Also, you cast Paul Rudd but he's not in the bait. That might be a blessing though. I wish you left out Tiny Fey too. C+
HOUSE OF BIN LADEN
- It's certainly a different approach on a real, evil person. I can't see this being a dark comedy as opposed to just being a goofball comedy. I'll admit, when I saw Michael Richards cast as Osama bin Laden, I laughed. Then I wondered why he was cast, then I wondered how it could work. Well, in a goofball comedy, this would work. The bait is well written, but it's just too...goofy. Still, no one will question your onions. C+
MURDER WITH WORDS
- What a distasteful opening paragraph. The rest of the bait doesn't get much better with its tiring characters and unsatisfying cast. I understand the pointlessness of the story and what you intended to do, but that doesn't mean you should still cast Anna Faris in a role that even she isn't suitable for without being utterly annoying...and no that's not a talent, and Clive Owen in a role probably wouldn't come across. After I saw the trailer for "He's just Not That Into You" or whatever it's called, I realized how utterly useless and plotless these kind of films are. Whether you intended this bait to be like that or not, fact of the matter is that is what it feels like. I think I agree with you Doug, this is a bad bait lol. D
ANGEL OF LURROCK
- Interesting story, but for the love of god, why do people keep casting Pam Ferris? Matt Damon is pretty good casting and Greengrass is fine. Sometimes you go rambling off on the same things and the first person narrative is okay, but when the last words of the story are "I cry," it sounds kind of silly. Sentences like that turn me off from the bait, but still, it's a bait that was a fairly enjoyable read with good casting, except for Ferris. Dece, Doug. B-
ANEW
Very bland and boring. It's not only because of the length, but the story you present shows no interest for any of the characters, which is sad because I thought from the opening paragraph it was going to set up to be decent. It read like a clustered mess, however you may have a nice future because there are some bright spots in the writing, but just remember..no need for unnecessary details that make the bait drag out even more that I found myself losing my place in the reading. You wonder off too much instead of just sticking to the point and developing the story. Do we care that they're eating coffee cake? All that matters is they're at lunch. There are too many joyful moments in this film for Ed Harris to be taken seriously, and I'm not big on the Cheadle casting. Haggis is meh. C-
GODFATHER DEATH
I liked the story, but the bait is poorly written and the cast is too bloated for del Toro. The casting of Finney is the only notable casting choice in this, and I would have tried pushing for him. The bait sounds epic long, and that's also something I couldn't see del Toro doing. Still, the story is decent.
C
12 ANGRY MEN
- Shouldn't it be "12 Angry Women"? Like..I don't know, it just doesn't make sense. Anyway, the story is just so tired and done with. It's already been remade, satirized by awful Paulie Shore films, and to be quite honest it's a weak approach to baiting, as far as baiting an acclaimed film. The fact that the story of "12 Angry Men" is so likable, that the remake has Tony Danza in it, and it's STILL enjoyable. That doesn't fly in this contest very well because it's a lazy approach to be creative and inventive by tagging onto old material. The casting seems right and I could see every single woman doing it. It would be a film that women would see to admire and film critics would ignore. And just to add, people could see women in these kind of roles...12 women bickering at one another isn't exactly a stretch for the opposite sex. D
BE A MENSCH
- It's an extremely, tiresome subject that needs to be forbidden for atleast the next 4 months. That being said, the story is somewhat admirable and I could see some recognition for Judd Hirsch. The director choice is pretty good, but again, with this familiar material, it's not saying much. However, the real bright spot is the press section, probably one of the best of the month. I felt more attached to the main character and gave the bait more emotion, which was impressive considering the story. B-
MAJOR TOM
I really like the director choice. McGregors role kind of reminds of his role in Big Fish, which wasn't an Academy Award performance, but it still works. Culkin is highly miscast as it would kind of be a comedy in some ways to see him flip shit over an imaginery astronaut. It seems like the subplot with Culkin goes nowhere aside from him getting crazy and I think it could have been elaborated more with how it was in space, and although it's an adaption, I would have liked to known more about the boy. Still, a valiant effort. C+
THE PRICE OF HIGH SOCIETY
- The bait is well written and it flows nicely. But the reason I believe it flows is that we've been familiar with this material for so long now, and nothing you did made it something of your own. It's full of the cliches, the typecasts, with the same message. My advice is to take risks when dealing with this kind of overused material because the press section reads well and the director choice is nice. C
TALK HER DOWN
- Well Evan, you certainly have an artistic vibe to this bait that I do appreciate. The problem is, if I take out all the adjectives, all the feelings, the bait would probably make for 5 sentences with little to no story what so ever. It's like there's one event that drives the rest of the somewhat story and that is never a good thing, especially since you have Gondry as your writer.The casting feels off and Zooey Deschanel isn't a good enough actress to carry a film with a miscast Clive Owen. C-
[TITLE OF SHOW]
- I had no idea who the director was so I checked him out on IMDB. He has no directing experience. Perhaps he is a director of theater but this isn't theater. This is an overly cliche cast with one exception of the most random casting I've ever seen with Jeremy Renner. Seriously, no one is a bigger Jeremy Renner nuthugger than me on this site. The only role he's ever been that would come close to resembling this is Senior Trip..get where I'm coming from? I can find somewhat of an appreciation for the casting since Renner is completely underused, but he's badly used in this. The opening paragraph is unreadable, characters have no depth aside from some barbaric random facts, and the bait just doesn't hold any ground. D+
COWBOYS & INDIANS
- I do like the Ben Foster casting, but that's about it. The story reminds me too much of Walk the Line, especially with the choice of director, and the Rascal Flatts don't have any meaningful material to make a full fledged film based off of it. I'm trying to picture the "town folk" having a grudge against this kid for something like this. I mean he accidently shot his friend when he was a child. Judging from the way you wrote it, a little child. This is something that a kid is definitely liable to do, and something that people won't fear 9 or however many years down the road. These are not traits of a serial killer, it's a curious kid, unparented, doing stuff that stupid kids do. As previously mentioned, it was a weak attempt at the Press Section. As far as I can remember you've had this bait shelved for so long, why the lack of press? And by lack I mean quality, not quantity. If your press is short, make it sweet, not typical and something a noob would do on his first try. C-
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It was funny and I can see myself really entertained with this but I dont think voters will go for it. Its too light for the Academy and the casting of three Enchanted actors does not help.
Grade: C+
12 ANGRY MEN (Written by Chris K.)
This has been done before, not with women, but it has been done and it has never worked. The cast is bloated. Sorry but Ive never like 12 Angry Men in any of its adaptations.
Grade: D
ADDICTED (Written by JG)
Well not bad but it is for sure not one of the best this month. This is story has been told before and doesnt seem original. It doesnt have anything new that stays in voters mind. The cast isnt that good either. I cant see Young carrying this film. The only thing I enjoyed was Ver Farmiga.
Grade: C
ANEW (Written by Sanford)
Way too long but it was good. I liked how you carried the two stories all through the bait. The cast is also competent. Except Ruby Dee who has the same character as in American Gangster. Excellent star for a new author. Well done
Grade: B+
ANGEL OF LURROCK (Written by Billy)
It has an interesting concept but the development seems to rush. The first act is really good but the last one drives too fast to the end. Also I dont understand what the characters in the bunker have to do with the main plot. Altough is a really good star for a newcomer.
Grade: C+
BATMAN: PERSEVERANCE (Written by Tony)
I think this is the Batman bait from yours I enjoyed most. I actually can see it taking some nods. Not Best Picture, in my opinion, but I can see an actor nomination or maybe screenplay. The bait has a well-thought structure and an amazing press section. The only thing that takes me back from giving it a higher grade is that I really dislike Batmans saga.
Grade: B
BE A MENSCH (Written by Chris K.)
Too melodramatic and it doesnt tell anything. Just a victim of the holocaust whose son wants to know his experience. I was anticipating a part where he tells how he lived it but it never came. Just not good, sorry.
Grade: C-
BIG BROTHER (Written by Jeffrey)
Well its not bad but I cant say it is good or Oscar material. Its a light bait, with enjoyable reading, refreshing casting and nothing more. Could have some chances at the Globes but I surely dont see it as an Oscar contender. Maybe Farris can grab a Best Actress nod if the month is really weak but I doubt it.
Grade: C+
COWBOYS & INDIANS (Written by Evan)
I really liked this story but the cast and the press section need more work. The overall idea is good and is well developed in my opinion but you should have added more depth with a better cast and a most detailed press section. Good though.
Grade: B+
DALMATIAN (Written by Douglas Reese & Adrian James)
I think this bait was really good indeed. The storyline is well detailed and the bait as a whole works. The cast is down-to-earth and believable. The press section sums up really well. Overall good effort and I think this is a serious contender.
Grade: A-
GODFATHER DEATH (Written by Chris K.)
I had fun picturing in my mind how this would be translated into a movie. It would be, in my opinion, that kind of film really entertaining and full of special effects but not a Best Picture nominee coming Oscar night, thats for sure.
Grade: B
HOUSE OF BIN LADEN (Written by D.W. Dillon)
Funny, smart and beautiful somehow. I enjoyed this bait very much. Is the kind of film that actually wins Oscars. The cast works perfectly and the press section is particulary brilliant. Congratulations.
Grade: A-
MAJOR TOM (Written by Adrian James)
Too childish for Oscars. It could be a nice Disney movie but thats it. Ewan McGregor choice seems to clicheed here. Sorry but I expected more.
Grade: C-
MURDER WITH WORDS (Written by Douglas Reese)
It pretends to be original, stupid, senseless and still beautiful, charming and funny. To me it failed. Drew Barrymore is not the best option to play Karen. I can see it as a Woody Allen film but not one of his best. Sorry, I didnt like it.
Grade: C-
THE PRICE OF HIGH SOCIETY (Written by Ryan C.)
I enjoyed this bait very much. It is my favorite so far. I agree with anyone who says that the cast is too filled with big names but come on, the story justifies it. Trully an incredible first bait. Congratulations.
Grade: A
THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT (Written by Jeffrey)
Good cast. Ive liked this bait very much. Atossa Leoni in my opinion should be a strong contender as Best Actress and Hiam Abbass as Supporting. The characters are presented really good and they are beautifully developed. The only one that fails to be outstanding is Donnie Keshawarzs character who seems one-dimmensional.
Grade: A-
SILENT EYES (Written by Jeffrey)
I think it was a good complete bait. It has a good start and a good end. It doesnt falls in the middle. Nothing for the ages but still good. The cast is questionable although. Johnny Depp seems misplaced. And Clint Eastwoods choice seems too forced. But good work.
Grade: B-
TALK YOU DOWN (Written by Evan)
It wasnt bad, just average. In a month as weak as this it could have a chance but I dont know. It didnt impress me or anything. And Zooey Dechanel seems a bad casting choice for this role.
Grade: C+
TALKING TO HER (Written by JG)
The cast is just too bloated. And the story is really bland and unoriginal. I really disliked this one. Everything feels too rush and the end is really bad. Sorry if Im been rude but this was really bad.
Grade: D+
WINDOWPANE (Written by Tony)
It was just okay. The cast is quite good except the casting of Dakota Blue Richards. I cant see her doing this. The story starts all right, very interesting at firs but then it just fails to be moving or something like that. To me its just really good TV movie.
Grade: C+
Top 10
1-The Price of High Society
2-House of Bin Laden
3-Dalmatian
4-The Shadows in the Night
5-Cowboys & Indians
6-ANEW
7-Batman: Perseverance
8-Godfather Death
9-Silent Eyes
10-[tittle of show]
Smile Everything that can be said about it has been D-
Batman: Perseverance A strong comeback from the Batman series, with one of your better plot lines. But I still feel like it tries to be too dark/gothic. B
Windowpane Good casting of Emily Mortimer, poor screenwriter and director choices, decent story. But theres nothing about it that really makes it stand out. B-
Silent Eyes A standard, boring thriller with nothing especially new to offer. B-
The Shadows in the Night Well-written and interesting, but lacks a truly original twist to it all. B
Big Brother Witty and likeable, but I never found myself really caring about your characters. B
Dalmatian Well-written with a surprisingly (somewhat) original plotline, but the girttier-than-gritty approach is a tiresome one. B
Addicted I could see this exact same story any day of the week on Hallmark channel. C+
Talking to Her A lazy bait that seems to be pulled directly out of the ass. Its more boring than anything else, frankly. C
House of bin Laden Obviously this bait was written as a jokeits just not a very funny one. C
Murder with Words A typical Woody Allen plot, characters and casting scheme that acts as a walking cliché. C
Angel of Lurrock A fairly interesting sci-fi. The casting of Matt Damon is strong. B
ANEW As with many baits this month, its well written enough and everything, but its just plain boring. This was also way too long. C+
Godfather Death I guess it was kind of original, but it was also bizarre and creepy (in a bad way). C+
12 Angry Men Youre kidding me. Whether the cast be male or female, remaking this classic film is blatantly unnecessary. C-
Be a Mensch I guess the message of this bait is that the Holocaust was grim. It was. Im pretty sure everyone knows that. It was poorly assembled and just unoriginal and dull. C
MAJOR TOM Creative and fun, but the story is too weak (not unbaity but weak) to be considered anything other than good. B
The Price of High Society Like most baits this month, boring and unoriginal. You need to have something that sets this apart from any other bait/film of its kind, which, for me, was lacking. C+
Talk You Down I think you know what Im going to sayboring and unoriginal. C
[title of show] I honestly dont think this show would work as a film, but the way you wrote it made it fairly interesting. One of your better baits, Evan. B
Cowboys & Indians Decent, but, as Ive said like a thousand times in this post, lacks anything to make it really stand out. B-
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