First time to this site. Wanted to introduce myself.
(no login) Posted Jun 18, 2007 4:36 PM
Hi to Everyone,
I found this website through a link from James Van Praagh website, which I visit often.
Sadly I lost my long time fiance and the love of my life over a year ago, on April 8, 2006. We were together almost 34 years. He was only 52 and died in our home, in front of me. I was in another room, finishing up our income taxes and I heard him coughing (he had been showing symptoms of a cold). I thought about checking on him, but didn't, as we had been arguing and I figured it was just his cold. Seconds later, I heard him gasping for breath and he was on his knees by the loveseat and then just went over backwards and hit his head on the floor. I called 911 right away and the 911 operator told me not to do anything, as long as he was breathing. He fought so hard and then he stopped breathing. I tried cpr, but it didn't work. A police officer friend came and tried to shock his heart. Still nothing. The rescue squad arrived and could not revive him. They rushed him to the hospital, trying to revive him all the way and even still in the hospital. They never got a response from him.
I think back at all the things I did wrong and all the things I missed. We found out later that he had swallowed his partial denture, while coughing, which we believe brought on the heart attack and blocked part of his airway. He tried to tell me, by putting his tongue where his denture was supposed to be. I didn't figure it out, until days later. Thinking back, I don't think I did the cpr correctly. I didn't tell him that I loved him. I didn't ride in the ambulance with him and have no idea why. I waited until the cop left my house and then drove myself, all the while thinking he would be ok. He never came back to me.
Exactly one month to the day, before he passed, his mother passed away. He was staying with her most nights, as she was terminal. She passed away one night, while he slept. He felt so guilty that he wasn't there to hold her hand. I tried to convince him that she wanted it to be that way. I don't think his heart ever recovered. I am sure that our arguments and many other things just built up, until the stress was more than he could handle.
Three weeks after he passed, I had a reading for the family and myself, with a medium recommended by James Van Praagh on his site. It was awesome. I had told God that if he allowed him to come through to me, I would start going to church, which I had never done. Well he and his mother came through with flying colors and I kept my promise and have been going to church regularly. I have also had additional readings and heard from them several times and my parents and other relatives, as well. I would strongly recommend it, with a reputable medium of course, as James recommends.
I am now trying to go on with my life, without him. I miss him so much and would change so many things, if I could do things over. I convince myself that he is happy, as he has told me in a reading that he is finally able to go fishing. He never had the time before.
I do think that he tries to contact me sometimes by letting the phone ding once, sending birds and butterflies, playing a song on the radio.One time I was talking to his brother on the phone and we both heard a man's voice call out his brother's name very clearly over the phone lines. No one was around.
I wanted to give everyone some background information and hope to hear from some of you. My email address is withee@mwt.net. Thanks....
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