I am new to this forum trying to get help,sometimes I feel like Im going crazy.I cry everyday and I have insomia and bad depression and in the middle of the night Im crying and crying missing my love of my life,he was my fiance for seven years and we were to get married in September 09 he had diabetes very bad and his blood sugar would go very high and then it would go low, very low he had the worse kind of diabetes and his uncles did not live to be 48.He would always tell me that he felt like he was going to die soon,but I would always tell him please dont say that babe.He was in las vegas visiting he family and he was comming home to me,he had been there for 9months.I recieved a phone call saying that my babe had passed away in a chair,it appeared that he had fell asleep and did not wake up.When I found out I cried and cried and Im still crying.The bad thing was I did not have the money to go to his funeral or even send any flowers.I feel very very bad for not being able to go.Our last words that day was I love you and I will call you tonight,I called him before he called me, and there was no answer and then I called several times and still no answer,he was babysitting his daughters dog while they went to a graduation in California and they were to be home that night,his daughter thought he was asleep but when he did not wake up she hurried and called the ambulance,but he had already been gone for 2 hours.I feel his presence all the time,I feel him touching me and even laying down with me when Im watching tv and sometimes strange things happen,like the week he passed away there was a phone call and it came from his cell phone when I answered it no one was there,it did that a couple of times and I feel him talking to me in my dreams but then when I wake up,I dont remember what he was telling me,he mostly comes around when its dark and quiet and I can feel him,I know he is alright and does not have to deal with all his illnesses he had when he was a diabetic,but I fill like Im losing it not being able to hear his voice and hold and hug him,but he holds and hugs me and I feel him caress my arms,but is this for real,or is it my imagination because I want him and need him and love him and miss him so badly.am I being greedy and selfish not letting him go and rest in peace?He was the best thing that happened in my life including my kids and my grandchild and he had the best personality and he would take his shirt off his back for any one, my kids looked up to him as there father instead of there real father.I am still wearing his engagement ring and I will never take it off and I dont want no one else in my life, he was the one for me and we will be together one of these days.Why cant I let him go?and let him rest in peace.I love you !!! my Robert babe,I will never forget you my sweetheart, my love of my life, my soulmate.Love your Annababe
He passed away June 23rd 2008 and was 43
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