Long line of toy soldiers
Wait to show me love.
Mechanically they move
through motions of affection.
Kissing, dinner,
Picnics, movies, bedrooms, more.
Calling it "dating".
What I should say is
I know what masquerades as love.
Conceit,
Deceit,
Manipulation
Control,
Compromise compromised,
Lies told to weave a safety net around me
That suffocates my conviction, my faith,
my hope.
So much for one little wooden man to scheme.
I know the things that masquerade as actions of love.
Different men
Squeezing, pulling, pushing me their way,
because it's the "only" way.
Molding me into their expectations.
Making agendas,
Building me up,
to break me back down.
Turning flesh into steel.
So much for one little wooden man to accomplish.
That's why,
When I see you
in a place where
attraction is obvious
but nothing is expected,
because the only meeting
is the meeting of eyes
intense...and
thrilling with the mystery of what could be
what will never be
i can relax
and dream of your eyes,
weaving a persona around you.
You are the closest I've come to being truly happy with another human
Because I don't know you.
You walk past me
I turn around to catch one more glimpse
and find you do the same.
I let you in close for that brief second,
But never close enough that I will have to see
that wooden man you inevitably will become.
That was the best courtship I ever had.
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