I wish I would have known
I would not have watched you walk away
I would have kissed you instead of hugged you

The last memory
Splitting a pack of cigarettes
behind the dorms
Watching Ricky cover Radio Head and REM
Fall turning to winter

After dark
The drive around the loop all night
getting high
silently listening to the radio
looking at each other

"Ive known you for years"
you said
"Im sorry I have to go"
you said
"Ill never forget you"
you said
"but Im moving away"

and then you were gone

Ive tried to find you
Ive asked about you
Ive googled you
Ive facebooked searched you

only to find out, just now
10 years later
...the reason you never called
...the reason you never said hello again

you died the next day
in that car
on your way home
Im sorry Laurie..im sorry I let you go

you steal a line anytime.
consider it my gift to you...

losing someone,
not knowing,
missing them,
ah the ache... aren't we always aching?

i hope you're alright.
and facebook eh?
look me up... it'd be nice to catch up,
even if it's just an emailed "hello"

hope you're smiling
sarah