we're all making shapes
out of cartoons and capes
breathing like apes
we're all making shapes
in shadows and windows
on walls and old tempos
with fingers and ten toes
in shadows and windows
skimming the headlines
shootings and fault lines
recession and bread lines
news of the End times
we're all hearing music
afraid we might lose it
afraid to refuse it
we're all hearing music
frozen lakes that could drown you
beasts that still hound you
falling leaves all around you
the room where they found you
scribbling words calling it art
sewing it up to keep it from falling apart
running from the finish back to the start
resuscitating something harder than a heart
Hmmm, nicely worded and interesting subjects,
but
If you want to try and write something with rhymes and form and structure, try and avoid slant rhymes and half rhymes (eg music/lose it.)
And look into meter and stresses. The number of syllables was all over the place at times, which hindered the flow I felt.
Of course, feel free to ignore all of this. What do I know?
