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August 16 2011 at 2:12 PM
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2nd U.S. (m.c. ment. – venting, child mentd)  (no login)

So I went in for u.s. on Friday, Aug 6th @ 9 weeks, 2 days and Baby B had demised. Its been the toughest two weeks in a long time, especially with every other person at work going off on maternity leave. My R.E. recommended a D&C so we can get some genetic testing and my OB was nice enough to schedule it the following day on Saturday, Aug 7th.

I am really questioning myself and wondering what to do next.. am I trying to beat nature and achieve the impossible twins at 44 years with OE was quite an achievement according to RE but what good is that if you dont carry them to term. The weird thing is that even through the mourning period I was ready to get right back on the bandwagon because I just feel soooooo time barred, and have already lost 8 months this year with a chemical pg and a miscarriage under my belt. What are the chances REALLY that there is still one good egg and why cant I just let it go. I am even questioning whether there really are any benefits to IVF and all the hormones vs TTC naturally though I dont understand why I have never had a BFP while trying naturally. So far Ive had a miscarriage at 4 weeks in 2007 @ 40yrs, a miscarriage at 12 weeks in 2008 @ 41 yrs, a BFP with DS in 2009 @ 42 yrs (after DE speech), 2 failed IUIs in 2010, a Chemical in Feb, 2011 @ 44yrs and a miscarriage of twins in Aug 2011 @ 44 yrs. All were IUIs except 1st 2 with Clomid, rest with injectibles and last 2 this year which were ivf. I had an HSG that was fine in 2008 before conceiving DS and I had some uterine scar tissue that was removed during mock transfers earlier this year. RE was trying to avoid surgery which would further delay my attempts at getting pg so he just pushed his way through using catheters to remove the adhesions quite painful but quick used Valium prior to procedures.

I must say that after having read the posts on these boards, I added COQ10, Reservertrol(sp), Vit D3 and B12 to my folic acid and prenatal vits regimen for 2nd IVF in addition to DHEA which I had started on 1st IVF and the there was a great improvement on embryo quality. I only made 5 embies both times but went from 2 6 cell, 2 4 cell and a 2 cell during 1st ivf to 2 8 cell, 2 6 cell, and a 4 cell during 2nd ivf.

I am going to stick to the above regimen but would like any ideas on other things to add for the remaining 3 months of the year because I need to wait until Oct to try again after D&C. I have seen talk about preseed but have no idea what it does.

Congratulations to all who have graduated to the pink board and All the Best to those of you who are still trying..

 
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