ok, here is my rant

I also had years of therapy to get past neglectful parenting, then I waited to find the right partner. Starting to TTC at 39 and 3 years of IF hell has been devastating.

But I believe that they are related. There are a lot of us on this board who have taken the time in our 20s and 30s to ge therapy, heal from earlier pain and be ready to be loving moms.

What is frustrating is that we who have been responsible in getting our sh*t together before bringing children into the world are then penalized for starting too late. I think it goes without saying that it is far easier and less responsible to bring children into the world when you are young, with the wrong partner and still seething with issues that will render you a less competent parent.

This is why is bothers me why media stories about infertility after 40 suggest that we have "put off" parenting for selfish reasons. No, actually it is NOT selfish to heal ourselves and get our lives together so we can be responsible, loving parents.