He thinks it's my natural progesterone causing the symptoms and not necessarily bad. That's about all he said about that. He seemed to poo poo P4 support use every cycle (not directly, but said I am probably making enough). He said he likes to see it 15 or above on day 21, but that it doesn't really matter for IVF, since you will be using support. I kept telling him mine is usually 10 around day 21 (so I wonder if it's really my body's natural progesterone? And why didn't I have it before TTC?).

As for the scan, three follies on the right, which he was pleased about, and still the CL on the left, he said nothing there (but couldn't there be once the CL is resorbed?). Start patches tonight. Paid my money - I'm now close to, I'm guessing 52,000 with acu and supplements... I cried today a bit, so many emotions - the money, pissed at DP, the regret of waiting, so many things came up - I was surprised. It all hurts.

I have followed your story, BD. And I want to thank you for your words of encouragement that you have sent my way.

I wish I knew something about p4 levels and I just do not.

But I do know that three follicles is nothing to sneeze at. That's pretty darn good. Well, it is for me, at least. And you are with a Doctor that has an approach that you seem to be in sync with.

I'm sending you the best vibes and karma that I can. Stay positive, stay in tune with your body (which I know you are) and I'll be crossing my fingers for you.

Hi BD,

I've also followed your story and look forward to your updates.

I'm about a week behind you (will also be doing the patch).

As much as I convince myself that everything will be OK no matter what, I also feel these emotions (sometimes seeminly out of the blue). I, too, have regrets about waiting, etc.

I think its OK to acknowledge that what you are feeling is TOTALLY normal and probably what most of us feel from time to time. If I had a magic wand and could make the regret disappear for all of us, i would.

Just know that you are doing everything in your power now to get you what you want. I hope that brings some comfort. (I should take my own medicine!).

Thinking of you and hoping this is the one!

M

I never had antrals counted until CD2 of a cycle, is it possible there will be more?

thoughts and vibes for a successful cycle. Keep your thoughts on the goal and really believe that this time is the right time and that this cycle things will work out for you.

I know easier said than done--I am trying to gear myself up to think in that direction too. I have learned alot about myself through IF- I am a hell of a lot more of a pessamistic thinker than I like to beleive I am. I wonder if my pessimism and quick thoughts of " I know this cycle didn't work" wayyyyy before the beta have actually harmed my outcomes. Who really knows for sure?

I can totally relate to the painful sentiments you expressed. Time gone by, decisions made that in hindsight were not the best. Now, I too am very sorry I waited but I know that even if someone had encouraged me at 30 to get moving- I would not have. I was not here then. I was there. You are not alone in your painful moments and I give you a over 40 board sisterly hug.

Now for you its on to this cycle - try if you can to leave the past where it belongs - behind you and look foward. Having 3 follies already is GREAT!!!! Keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the best cycle yet! XO

I was happy to see three on the right. I also reiterated about my FSH to him, you know you can look a doc in the eye, and say - really, can we do this - and get a sense of how realistic it is - he said he's had ladies up to 100 get pregnant (I didn't ask how old, always afraid to ask, but my pessimism assumes they were young), you are more then an FSH number, and it's realistic to find a quality egg still, a challenge, but not impossible, and I deserve a chance.