BOBBY HEENAN TALKS ABOUT TURNING AROUND THE BUSINESS, GORILLA MONSOON, HIS STABLE, WCW AS A TOILET, SEEING OLD FRIENDS, ROH AND MORE
by Nick Sinagra and Eric Shaffer @ 6:38:00 PM on 4/2/2005
How did your association with Jim Cornette and Ring of Honor come about?
I was scheduled to do a Ring of Honor show and then they had some problems. So my book had just come out when the company had problems. Then it was taken over under different management, and they’re very very professional people. They do what they say they’re going to do for me and I have no problem with them. Jim Cornette, I’ve always admired. I’ve always thought he was the best looking manager in the business. If you wanted someone to handle your money, would you call Albano? Here’s a guy who’s got 75 rubber bands in him. That doesn’t mean I’m knocking Lou. Lou is part of the greatest entertainment in the world. Lou was a character and he deserved how he looked... Would you have Blassie manage you? The guy’s dressed like a nickel. And he’s 88 years old (sarcastically). Jimmy Hart? He looks like the guy that tries to get you into the fairs to see the nudie girls and he works for NASCAR. He does more advertising on his clothes.... and I love Jimmy. Bobby The Brain? He looks like a guy that would talk his girlfriend into making a movie but there’s no film in the camera. He’s out for himself. But Jim Cornette with the glasses and tennis racket and the way he talks... he never misses a word... He’d be the ideal manager. You’d say, “I know a guy like that”. There’s no guys like Albano or me. We all know a guy like that. We all bought a car from a guy like that. So that’s what I like about Jim Cornette. Plus he’s one hell of a guy.
How did it feel to be at the (WWE) Hall of Fame with a lot of people you worked with before and seeing them again?
It was really an honor. Some people say, “A wrestling hall of fame???” But to a baseball fan, Cooperstown is everything. So is Canton, Ohio... So is Springfield, Mass for basketball. And to wrestling fans and the eyes of the business, this is something. This is voted on by the people that work for WWE and they have some kind of a staff that selects, and it’s an honor. It’s an honor to be there. And I got to see a lot of the guys I managed. I got to see my old buddy Ernie Ladd. I got to talk with Jesse (Ventura). I got to see Harley, who I’ve loved dearly and worked with since 1967... Blackjack Lanza who I love dearly... Ric Flair, I worked with him in 1991... It was great, and I didn’t have to pay for it! I got in free!
How close were you really to Gorilla Monsoon?
Oh my God.... I don’t know if you could understand this, but growing up in my life I didn’t have a father or a family. I did have a mother and a grandmother. I found my family later on. I never had brothers. I never had sisters. I had one great friend in Chicago growing up. We started school in 1950... So I never had a dad or a brother or anything like that. Monsoon is the only human being I’ve met in my life who I’ve felt was my brother. And that’s a horrible statement because I hate when people say, “they loved each other like brothers”. Most brothers I know hate each other. They want to kill each other. I didn’t know what it was like to have a relationship with a brother. Other than that, he was like a father. I never wanted to disrespect him. I never wanted to do anything to hurt that man’s feelings. It was the greatest friendship I ever had. I miss him. I miss him every day. Every day I have a problem and think, “What would Gino do?” And I feel good. Every day.
When you were working with Ric Flair in the WWF(E) right after he left the NWA, was there ever any concern that it would hurt the NWA’s credibility having their Champion appear on TV with their belt?
I couldn’t care less. I was working for WWF(E). I didn’t care if the NWA turned into a car wash.
Did you realize at the time how hot of a program it was having him in there?
Oh yeah. Of course. I’m telling you. If he would have been before Liberace, they’d be comparing Liberace to him. He was a great showman. This man, I’m telling you, never ever ever lost it as an entertainer. And the same with Hulk Hogan. You have to really give them credit. A lot of guys really don’t like Hogan, but he’s like (George) Steinbrenner. And Steinbrenner’s like Vince (McMahon). A lot of guys want to play for the Yankees, but when they don’t play for the Yankees, they knock them. If they play for the Yankees, they work for the boss. If they play for the Mud Hens in Toledo, they knock them.
Did you ever have any professional differences with any of the men you managed?
No, not really. Rick Rude didn’t think he needed me. He thought I would steal his heat sometimes. He didn’t realize if I wanted to steal his heat, I could have done it from the time he left the dressing room to the time he came back. Not because I was better than him, but because it was two against one. He was in the ring with another wrestler, but I was on the floor and I could do anything. I could crawl under the ring... I could reach into my pocket... I could start to climb up.... I could yell at somebody. I could distract from everything in that ring if I wanted to. I’ve been in this business for 40 years. The last thing I would do is hurt anybody. If I don’t like the person, I might hurt him financially. If I don’t like the person I will just tell whoever pays me that I don’t want to work with him and I don’t feel I could do a good job for you. The only time I turned to the fans and reacted and had tantrums was when the babyface had a hold on Rude, so he could have his rest time. But some guys don’t understand that. I have nothing against him, God bless his soul. He was a nice man, but some people just have professional differences. I’m just being honest.
If you had the chance for another run, who would you prefer to work with? What was the last organization I worked for? In Atlanta? Run by Ted Turner’s people....
WCW ((Heenan flushes the toilet and says “you know that’s better than a prune Danish”)). There’s only one company... and I really do hope that Ring of Honor and NWA TNA do well. I do like Jeff and Jerry Jarrett, and Mike Tenay is very close to me. The Ring of Honor people have been excellent to me. Face it, in the wrestling business, the promoters are the pimps and we are the whores. I would have to go where the most money is and that would be WWE. And who would I want to manage? Probably the most talented guys I’ve seen in a long time: either Triple H or Randy Orton. I managed Randy Orton’s father, who was probably the most underrated guy in this business. He could do more in a move or a bump than most people could think of doing. I never saw his father (Bob Orton Sr) wrestle because we were never in the same place at the same time and I never got to see any film or tape of him. But Bob Orton Jr., what a creative hand. The things he could do in that ring... He was with us in the AWA for a long time and he was excellent... And Randy, he’s something. He’s excellent.
What do you think it would take an organization like NWA TNA to come into prominence as a major contender for WWE?
I think the business needs to be turned around. It can’t go any farther up. Otherwise, you’d have naked people on Mars wrestling. Now, you have to go back a step. Keep the look today. But you have to go back to interviews. You have to go back to squash jobs. And you have to go back to creating characters. If a guy jumps out of the ring and he’s got a beer barrel on his shoulder and a cigar in his mouth, he’s the Crusher. If I’m talking to him about Milwaukee and they’re gonna dance the Polka, that guy’s over... Now in WCW, all they ever did was run-ins. If they would have produced golf, they would have had a run in with Jack Nicklaus. If we would have been on another year there, we would have been popping up out of hay bales with Buck Owens on wrestling Hee Haw. They would have run ins on bowling... Run ins on chess... You’ve got to get back to building the characters. You have to have good vs. bad. Heel/babyface... And there’s no managers. And this is something that Jim Cornette and I are considering: having a manager’s school. There’s a lot of guys too small to wrestle, or too big and sloppy. It’s not going to hurt anybody’s feelings. You know if you’re sloppy. Like the Sheboygan Sisters from Oshkosh, they know that... We don’t let them out in the sun because the neighbors think we’re cooking bacon. Cornette and I are discussing this to have a manager’s school. We have to sit down and produce the thing. I think we’re going to get a tape of the best guy to NWA and to WWE and see what we can do, see what response we can get. I’d like to have a lot of interest because I think it would be unique now... You know what’s bad about having a woman as a manager? There’s no blow off. You can’t put her in a cage and get blood on her. But you can me. You could Albano and those guys. But with a woman you can only do so much and the people know it. So occasionally you see a cheek or a breast. Go down to Calhoun’s bar and you’ll see the same thing for nothing. Bring back the mystery. Let’s entertain the people. I like masked me. I like it when a guy tries to take the mask off and he almost gets it off but he doesn’t. No matter who you are, it gets people off their feet. If you do it right, like Don Jardine (The Spoiler), a good friend of mine, or Dick Beyer. A lot of promoters don’t like masked men because they say they have no expression. That’s why they’re wearing a mask, you moron!
Thank you for your time.
No problem.
Other quick witticisms from Bobby Heenan that were excerpted from this interview:
My neighbor has a pool and you know what it says on the sign: No animals or pets. What kind of a pet would you have if it’s not an animal?
Find a woman with three good measurements: 90, 117, and 110.... She has to be 90 years old, with 110 million dollars in the bank, and 117 degree temperature.
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