My views...

Y'know...

I have been in charge of this game for some time. Since the beginning of the game, as a matter of fact. And I'm tired. Absolutely tired. I'm tired of everything that Richard, Gary, or Rachel does has to be argued by Bill, Nick, and Jason - whether it affects their characters or not. I'm tired of people going "you're making shit up" or "since when was it like that?" or even "why does that person get to do something and I don't?" I'm not here to babysit. I'm here to tell a story. For the record, I didn't feel as if Rachel, Gary, or Richard did anything wrong, except perhaps for Rachel's overuse of the Clear Sighted Merit. I'm sorry I allowed her to have something for story's sake (remember, the STORY that we are supposed to be telling?). I'm sorry that it got misused. I'm human, I make mistakes. People apparently wanted me to fix everything immediately, and to do it their way. Let me tell ya, folks - this isn't Burger King, you don't always get it your way here.

The job of the Storyteller is to keep issues fair. If a particular player has a beef, it is that player's responsiblity to go to an ST IMMEDIATELY after game. Not during game, not in the middle of plot, but after game. Sure, Amy - I read your post further down the board about you telling me what was wrong. I can't fix shit when you don't tell me the problem four weeks later. People complained that Gary, Rachel, and Richard were getting attention. Here's a newsflash for all you who were bitching about that: THEY WERE ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!! When I posted the Influence Report, they were the only ones to say that their characters were doing anything. Okay, Steve - I know that you had Rob working on something....but what? Did either of you have a clue exactly what you were doing? Did you have a plan? In short, did you bother to think?

As for last night - I left for mostly one reason. Bill. Last week, two players expressed their views that they didn't want to play in this game because they didn't feel that the way I ran the game was a manner in which they wanted to play. Quite frankly, I was more than happy to see them go. I considered their game style to be childish, combat-laden, and against the principles upon which the concept of MET is built upon. It's a social game, people. In any event, said duo shows up to game yesterday. I express my opinion that they shouldn't have shown up, based on the fact that they didn't like the way I ran the game, the fact that they are suspected of cheating, the fact that some other players aren't comfortable around them, and the fact that they were, to all information I've received, part of a plot to "trash" the game before they left. Not only did Bill not agree with me, he actively pushed a case for their inclusion in the game. This shows me the following things:

1. Bill does not trust me, or value me as a friend in any way, shape, or form, due to the fact that he apparently holds my opinion in as little regard as trash. He essentially called into question my ability to be in charge of the game, and the content thereof.

2. Bill lied to me. He told me that he had no problem with the way I ran the game. His actions clearly state that this isn't the case. Why? Because he decided to do things his way, despite the fact that I was supposed to be in charge of the game. Therefore, his way is better, and no matter what I say, he's going to do things his way, whether I like it or not.

There are other things, but these are the biggest points. I came to the conclusion that I was not needed, or indeed wanted, as part of this game, or the "friendships" that exist within it. I suppose not being one of Steve or Bill's drinking buddies has something to do with that - I've felt like a second class citizen in this group for a long time.

There are some of you that I would like to remain in contact with, and even game with. If I find enough people, I may even entertain the thought of a new game, set somewhere else, on a different night, with a different plot - that will be invitation only. But, as it stands, I am stepping down as the Main Storyteller of this game - because I am obviously not wanted, or even needed, by the group, and because I am no longer having fun with this particular group of gamers. I do not find hour long arguments about why we should have called shots, or why you have to have Lore to know what a different supernatural creature's aura looks like fun.

What I do find fun: a cooperative storytelling effort between friends, meant to construct a story, not to build up your character. It's sad that this game has fallen to that state - but I guess the popular culture has drilled it into people's heads that, above all, you must "win". There is no winning in the World of Darkness, or in LARP. None. There is only the Story, and the retellings that can happen years after the Story is finished. Steve, can't we still, after all these years, recount stories from our BattleTech and D&D days? "Get them, I'm going behind the dune", "the Infamous Right Torso", "I'm disintegrating his heart". Those were the days. These days, it seems like LARP is just another time to swap bar-stories, or find out who's sleeping with whom this week.

I find that sad.

If some (or all) of you are pissed at this - to some, I'm sorry. You should know who you are - if not, ask. If people think I did an inadequate job as Storyteller - try it yourself. If you do better, great. If not, I don't want to fucking hear it. I tried, and that's enough for me.

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disengage rant mode

Jim