Finnaly after two months of unemployment, I've found work. It doesn't pay

much but it beats a kick in the ass. And speaking of ass, for those of you

who want to check out my new place of employment, stop on by. I'll be

selling my ass to the highest bidder on the corner of Main and 2nd every day

9AM to 9PM.

Dude if it's ok to bid on line I'll bid $50!!!

Sorry can't except your bid. Too high. Bidding starts at 25 cents. And the online bidding now be a open................

Sorry I turned down your bid, but I'd feel guilty lettin' you offer so much fer such a worthless ass. Leastin' out a the startin' gate.......

I don't want to buy...
Is that ass for rent?

I reckon ass is only for rent on block E of da big city...............

Turns out I took a cut in pay to take this job.(what could be less then nothing?) So I need's a few more greenbacks. Anybody know where they prints dem greenbacks??

Dude I'm sorry I meant $.50 don't be mad!!!

Amazin' what difference a decimal point makes.........Even still, sorry biddin' starts at $.25. Git with da program cousin Itsme.......

Where were you when we planned to connect?

Who lied?

I lay best on my back!!

You're a bad liar? I'm sorry I meant you're a back lyer?

A musical instrument?

Is that how you spell lyer?

Any way thats what I do best!!

That's how I spell it after a few Vodka Gimlets............

Thats funny I thought you were a Bacardi kind of guy??

He's a booze kinda Wisenheimer!!!