Chapter 51
“It’s like…boxed hell in here,” Paul complained as he and Brian unpacked cartons about a month later at the new house. Kim and Lana had been working upstairs, where Briana was sleeping, while Danny and Emily played downstairs.
“I hope so, dude,” Brian replied, “it just came from your old place. How in the fuck did you fit all of this shit in that apartment anyway?” He peered into another box. “Oh, never mind; looks like most of this crap is yours.”
“Yeah, and most of it was in the closet while we lived there. Anything else you’d like to be a smart ass about?”
“Not really, at least not yet.”
“Remind me for us to check the site a bit later now that the cable is on and we got internet service again,” Paul added. “They’re having the supplemental draft today, and it would be nice to know where our asses are ending up this year.”
“In dark match hell, where else?”
“I meant what brand, dumb ass.”
“I knew that. But it seems all we’ve done lately are bullshit dark matches and house shows. When was the last time we were on TV anyway?”
“I think about a month ago. And you’re right; it’s fucking ridiculous. Maybe our luck will change today.”
“I hope to Christ so.”
The women had come downstairs; the ever-present baby monitor in Kim’s jeans pocket.
“Any progress up there?” Paul asked.
Lana nodded and smiled. “Well, the twins’ room is ready for sure.”
“And it’s magnificent,” Kim agreed. “Jorge and Juliana will love it.”
“Yeah, anything would beat the hell out of an orphanage,” Brian replied.
Lana then looked around for a moment, not seeing Emily. “Danny, where’s your sister?”
“Don’t know,” he replied, not looking up from what he was doing. “Emmy go other way.”
“Paul, you were supposed to keep an eye on these two,” she sighed. “Especially now that Emily’s walking. She could be anywhere.”
“I was,” he whined. “I can’t help she moves so damn fast.”
“Kind of like you,” Lana responded. “Now I have to search for a lost child.”
“Not exactly,” Brian said, pulling a laughing Emily out of an empty box that had been tossed aside. “I think a certain little blue eyed Mexican was trying to pack herself again.”
“Oh dear lord,” Lana chuckled, taking her daughter. “Come here, you. You’re coming upstairs with us girls. As for you two, keep an eye on Danny and quit goofing off. We can be done with this a lot faster, and we don’t have much time before Jorge and Juliana are released to come here. I want everything ready when they arrive in a few days.”
“Yessum,” Paul nodded, also eager to get “boxed hell” out of the way.
“And who has the balls in your marriage again?” Brian asked him, only to be rewarded with a smack on the head.
“You heard Lana. Quit fucking around. We got to get this stuff unpacked and the place ready before the kids get here.”
Upstairs:
Lana had put Emily in a playpen, where the girl began to fuss a little.
“I know, sweetheart,” Lana said, kissing Emily’s dark head. “You don’t like this thing much, but it’s the only way I can keep an eye on you and not worry about you falling down the stairs or climbing in something you shouldn’t.”
“She’s awful active for her age, isn’t she?” Kim asked, putting some clothes in a closet in the master bedroom.
“I know. I don’t remember Danny developing this quickly as a baby. I know girls are supposed to develop faster than boys, but she’s just a little dynamo.”
“Kind of like her dad,” Kim nodded.
“Yeah, you could say that. One of him is enough, of course.”
“Talk about an overgrown kid.”
“Sure,” Lana agreed. “It’s like I have three kids instead of two sometimes, one of them two hundred pounds.”
“I got two myself,” Kim laughed. “One of them last weighed in at 172 pounds, and the other a little over eight pounds. Of course, all the big kid has done is complain that that little one doesn’t do anything but ‘eat, sleep and shit all day.’ She’s a month old; what did he expect?”
“I guess they’re supposed to come out fighting at birth,” Lana shook her head.
Kim laughed again, opening another box. “Oh my God!”
“What?”
“Paul’s underwear in here! Geez. I just saw you husband’s drawers up close and personal. Excuse me while I go bleach my eyes.”
“Good lord, Kim; they’re just boxers,” Lana laughed. “Give me that carton.”
“Be my guest. Eww. It’s enough I have to look at Brian’s shit every day.”
Lana unpacked the box, putting them in a separate drawer. When she reached the bottom, she stopped, glancing at things that weren’t underwear.
“What‘s wrong?” Kim asked.
“Boxers and socks weren’t the only thing in here when he packed this box from his drawer. And some man is about to get his ass chewed. I’ll be right back.”
A few minutes later:
“PAUL MICHAEL!” Lana screeched
“What?” he responded back.
“Why do I have the feeling your ass is in trouble?” Brian asked.
“Beats me; I don’t even know what the hell I did.”
Lana came closer with some items in her hand. “Any of this look familiar?”
“Dude, isn’t that some of the porn stash from the bottom of your underwear drawer that was at the apartment?” Brian asked.
“Spanky, shut up!”
“Exactly what it is,” Lana answered, “which he said he threw away after we got married.”
“Most of it,” Paul said with a slight whine.
“Evidently not all of it,” Lana said sternly. “You should be lucky I found this and not one of the kids, especially once Jorge and Juliana got here. It’s going to the Dumpster right now.”
“Aw, come on, babe; that’s my best shit!”
“Well, your ‘best shit’ is best suited for the Dumpster. I will not have this trash around while there are children in this house. My God, Paul; where is your common sense?”
“Apparently in his dick,” Brian quipped.
“Spanky, zip it,” Paul said in a warning tone.
“Mine’s zipped, dude.” Brian patted his crotch. “It’s yours that is causing a problem with your wife.”
“You’re really pushing it, boy.”
“In any case,” Lana cut in, “no more of this in the house. If you need dirty movies that bad, either get them off the Internet or go to one of your buddies’ houses.”
“All right; don’t open a vein. Jesus.” Paul rolled his eyes.
“Remind me to give you lessons on how to hide porn,” Brian said, snickering.
“Yeah, you do it so well, Kimbo finds yours every time.”
“She won’t now,” Brian replied. “I mixed them in with the rest of the DVD’s. Just seeing Kim pull one out by accident and listening to her scream is priceless. Best entertainment since the kid doesn’t do anything but sleep, shit, and yell.”
“Spanky, that baby’s been in the world a little over a month. She’s not going to just pop up and do a super kick. Jesus. Briana will be about six months old before she really does start the cute stuff. Then you’ll bitch because you can’t keep up.”
“No, I’ll probably do a lot of that when she’s sixteen.”
“Yeah, “ Paul agreed. “That’s when the real challenge will begin. When they’re teenagers.”
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