Chapter 31
“That’s it?” Brian asked, examing the contents of the small box.
“What do you mean ‘that’s it’?”
“Dude, I know you’re cheap, but one would need tweezers and a magnifying glass to find the rock in that thing. You can’t skimp on shit like this.”
“It’s a fucking half carat!”
“Again, she’d would need tweezers and a magnifying glass to find it. Kind of like your dick.”
“Well, excuse me for not pulling seven grand out of my ass like some people I know.”
Mariah gave Brian’s head a healthy smack. “Assface. You know Montana isn’t into all that fancy stuff. I think it’s lovely. Simple yet elegant.” She gave Paul a kiss on the cheek. “You did good, big boy.”
“Why thanks, Mimi, I feel better with that coming from a woman.”
Shaun took the box and examined the ring. “I rather like it too. So when is the big occasion to pop the question, Guapo?”
“I kind of already did last night.”
“And I take it she said yes,” Mariah smiled.
“Oh yeah.”
“She sees that skimpy rock, she might change her mind,” Brian laughed.
“What’s your problem, Spank?” Mariah asked. “Didn’t you get laid lately or something?”
“I’m just saying you can’t be cheap on this kind of shit.”
“This coming from a dumb ass that has done nothing but bitch about blowing his life savings on his own wedding,” Paul said.
“Hey, a royal wedding was her idea, dude, not mine. If it had been up to me, I’d been wearing jeans and my Larry’s Hot Dogs T-Shirt and it would have been over in ten minutes.”
“Kind of like you having sex?”
“Very fucking funny, PL.”
“Montana’s going to love this,” Shaun nodded, still admiring the ring. “What made you pick white gold?”
“I remember her dad saying something about her mom’s ring looking like this. Yeah, I kind of asked him for suggestions.”
“You called her father?” Mariah asked, elated.
“Actually, we both did, after we told the girls. I was going to have Shaun here keep them out later while Montana and I both went to look at rings, but then I decided to surprise her after I got some suggestions from Jack.”
“Ahhh, already in a conspiracy with your future father in law. I love it.”
“Jack’s kind of a pro at this. He did the same thing for Sylvester when he was picking a ring for his wife. To be honest, I think the guy should have been a jeweler instead of a postmaster.”
“Judging by this, I think you’re right,” Shaun nodded. “Almost any girl would be thrilled to have something like this.” She gave Brian a look. “Not all women need seven thousand dollar pet rocks to be happy.”
“Oh sure, let’s all gang up on the short blond guy,” Brian snorted.
“That needs to get laid,” Mariah laughed.
“You offering, Mimi?”
“Why don’t you two just go in the broom closet over there and have a quickie?” Paul asked. “You’ve been wanting to screw each other’s brains out for over a year anyway.””
“You are a sick, sick man, Guapo,” Shaun shook her head.
“And you happen to forgot I’m engaged, dude,” Brian added.
“Never stopped you before, Spanky. Which reminds me, I have to get out of here and get ready for a match.” He picked the ring box. “Not to mention have a sweet lady to see and give this to.”
Mariah sighed dreamily as they watched him leave. “What I wouldn’t give to be paint on the wall when that happens.”
Later:
“It is absolutely beautiful,” Montana sighed, admiring the ring as she and Paul sat together in the empty locker room alone.
“According to Spanky, you needed a magnifying glass to see the diamond.”
“Oh phooey on him. It’s just perfect.”
“It is?”
“I love it,” she said, her eyes shining. “I love you. And I think while we‘re still alone, I‘ll show you how much.”
Several minutes later:
Shaun and Mariah had been chatting backstage when Shaun caught Montana in the corner of her eye emerging from the locker room, a slight, mischievous smile on her face and slightly flushed.
“Oh girl,” Shaun shook her head as Montana checked herself in a mirror. “I don’t even want to know what that was all about.”
“I think I already do just from what I’m seeing,” Mariah said. “Let’s just say Montana got her ring and was very, very happy with it. Add to that, Paul’s going to be more than very warmed up and relaxed for his match tonight.”
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