Chapter 45
“Look, dude, I’m getting married Saturday,” Paul pointed out. “You’ve stood sober this long, and you even passed the drug test, a couple more days isn’t going to kill you. And with that whole bonfire shit, be lucky the judge just let you off with a fine and hotel management permanently banned you and Mimi.”
“Yeah, you’re right, dude. And with the fun we’re going to have at your bachelor party, I want to be sober to remember it all anyway,” Brian laughed. “By the way, no one told you? Mimi got out of rehab yesterday. She’s coming back to work next week.”
“No shit? Well, that’s some great news. I know they dismissed her charges since she took the initiative to go to rehab, but damn, that time went fast.”
“Yep, we went on a caffeine high this afternoon after court.”
“That better be the only thing you’ve been doing, Spanky.”
“Jesus, will you quit being so paranoid, PL?”
“I mean it. There’s the chance each day I might end up getting a phone call that I’m being released; meanwhile, you’re getting the push of a lifetime, man. Don’t do anything stupid to fuck it up. You saw what happened to Jeff a few months back when he got his push and messed up. Now he‘s got to practically start over.”
“You’re shitting razor blades about the prospect of being released, yet you’re still getting married?”
“Montana and I discussed that. She pretty much said it didn’t matter if I was living in a cardboard box; she loved me, she still wants to marry me and adopt the girls, the end.”
“Wow, that’s love. Most of the time, it seems we’ve just drawn gold digger morons who only want bragging rights or part of our wallets.”
“Yeah, I kind of got lucky finding Montana. Weird thing is, she’d been around for awhile and it started out we’d barely known one another only by sight. Now look at us.”
“Yeah.”
“Now….what is this shit you and Sly have up your sleeves that you want to do this bachelor party thing so damn bad?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you now, would it, PL?”
“If you’re getting a stripper and worried about Montana finding out, just so you know, she’s perfectly fine with it.”
“She is? That’s a first. Usually most women are ready to cut our dicks off about that thing. But no, this is something else.”
“Good, remind me not to show up.”
“Oh come on, PL, be a sport.”
“So help me God, Spanky, if this turns out to be one of those things where you embarrass the shit out of me, I will slit your throat in your sleep the next time we have a tri-branded show.”
Meanwhile:
“Come onnnnnnnn, Sylvester,” Mariah coaxed, “just one little hint? It’s not like Shaun and I are going to be there anyway.”
“Promise, not a word to Paul?” Sly asked. “I’ve already been sworn to secrecy by Brian; if one peep of this gets out and it especially gets back to Paul, I’m as much as a dead man.”
“Lips are zipped,” Shaun answered. “So what’s the big secret?”
Sly looked around, making sure no one was in earshot, and then beckoned the two women over, whispering in the ear of each.
“Oh no he didn’t!” Mariah cried, beginning to laugh.
“He certainly did. And yours truly will be filming the great event with his camera phone.”
“That is so classic Brian,” Shaun giggled.
“I still think the guy has a secret death wish,” Sly nodded. “I also think he wants to take down extra bodies with him.”
“Well, if he isn’t hanging from a noose late Friday night,” Mariah said, “I will seriously be shocked.”
“Got to admit Paul can be an easy target, though,” Shaun replied, giggling again.
“Certainly,” Sly agreed. “Now let’s just hope this ‘easy target’ doesn’t decide to draw blood after his own bachelor party.”
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