Chapter 46
“Let’s go, Mr. Excitement,” Montana said the next morning, giving Paul a loud whack on the ass.
“Fucking hell!” he cried. “Talk about a rude awakening.”
“It’s your last day as a free man and we have a lot to do before the rehearsal dinner tonight. Time to get up.”
“Oh I’m up all right,” he leered. “How about a little quickie to jump start the day?”
Montana shook her head. “The girls are awake and dressed and there will be plenty of time for that after the wedding. Come on, start shoving ass.”
“Jesus, you’re no fun at all.”
“Go get cleaned up,” she said, handing him some clothes. “We’re having breakfast with your mother after the girls get dropped off at school. Then there is your luncheon at twelve thirty with Brian and Sly. And of course, the big bachelor party tonight. And you still have to pick up your suit in between. I’m getting Kira from preschool later and Mac has early dismissal at one thirty today so I can pick up their dresses.”
“All that shit is getting done today?”
“Yes. And the rehearsal is at five, dinner at your father’s at six thirty, and your party is at nine.”
“I thought you stopped doing scheduling when you quit your job,” Paul managed to joke, taking the clothes.
“A prospective mother and wife’s work is never done,” she grinned, slapping his behind again. “Now get moving, lazy bones.”
Meanwhile:
“Once again,” Brian said in the phone while spread out in his room, “they’re to be there in the order I requested. The first one is to start at ten, not nine fifty five or five after ten. Ten o’clock. Then the second I want to start at ten fifteen. Comprende?”
Sly walked in just as he hung up the phone. “Jesus H. Christ,” Brian groaned.
“What’s going on, future world champion?” Sly asked cheerfully.
“Trying to explain to a cast of idiots the order of the two strippers tonight. What part of one to start at ten and the other at ten fifteen do some of these ass wipes not understand?”
“You know you’re asking to be killed, right?” Sly chuckled.
“Yeah, but capturing the look on PL’s face when the blindfold comes off will be worth it.”
“You are the epitome of evil. What made you think of this stunt to begin with, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Brian shrugged and grinned. “He’s just an easy target. And hey, this is mild compared to some of the shit he’s pulled on me over the years. And speaking of the intended victim, have you talked to him today?”
Sly shook his head. “I was about to ask you, but I guess my dear sister is probably lighting a fire under Paul just to get him out of bed. I know they’re supposed to have breakfast with his mom after the kids go off to school.”
The phone rang and Brian checked the Caller ID. “Aha, speak of the devil. Either it’s him or your sister. I can take this.” He then answered it. “Hell, Satan speaking.”
“And good morning to you too,” Montana laughed.
“Hey, Mon. I was just talking to your brother here. Where’s the Grumpy Groom to Be?”
“Showering. Listen, Bri, could you do me a quick favor if you have some time?”
“I got all morning until the groomsmen lunch, love; make a wish and your genie will grant it.”
“Paul and I are going to be pretty backed up the better part of the day and I have to get Mac from school around one thirty after I get Kira from preschool. Is there any possibility you and Sly could stop in and get the girls’ things for the wedding? Everything’s paid for and in my name; it just needs picked up.”
“No problemo. I can take care of that in about half an hour as soon as I get my shit together. I have to go pick my suit anyway, so it works.”
“Thanks. And Mariah is going to need a ride to the rehearsal tonight.”
“Consider that done too. I can call Mimi and let her know, in fact.”
“Thanks again. That’s two things off my mind anyway. Now let me go shove dynamite up my husband to be’s ass before we’re late to meet his mother.”
“Good luck with that, then again, maybe you’ll have better luck than I ever did.”
“What was all that about?” Sly asked when Brian hung up.
“Your sister wanting a couple of things. Something about picking up the kids’ wedding stuff and giving Mimi a lift to the rehearsal.”
“My God, you mean she’s willing to put Mariah’s life in your hands?” Sly laughed.
“Oh, you’re just a barrel of laughs, aren’t you, Sylvester? To be honest, between me and PL, I’m the lesser of two evils.”
“Yes, I’ve heard Montana laughing about his driving now and then. Something about if a person didn’t know any better, they would think it was a ninety year old woman at the wheel instead of a twenty eight year old man.”
“She isn’t kidding. Takes dude half an hour just to go two blocks. And he has the balls to say whoever gave me a license must have been smoking crack? Shit. I got to wonder sometimes who he blew to get his.”
“From what Montana’s told me, thank goodness he isn’t driving tomorrow.”
“No, that would be yours truly. Only he doesn’t know it yet.”
“You’re really hell bent on torturing this guy, aren’t you?”
“As I said, easy target.”
“Anyway, did Montana tell you where to go to get the girls’ stuff?”
“Yeah, and something about it already being paid for and shit. We just have to give her name.”
“No offense, Bri, but you and my sister look nothing alike.”
“Very fucking funny, Sly. Come on, we got to get moving if I’m going to get that done for your sister and other stuff before the lunch thing.”
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