Chapter 48
“And now the moment before tomorrow’s main event has arrived,” Brian announced cheerfully. “So far, we survived the bitchfest–err, groom’s luncheon; yeah, that’s right–the rehearsal to make sure said groom doesn’t make an ass of himself tomorrow, and the lovely dinner that followed. Now we can all cut loose and get stupid just as the ladies across town are doing.”
“Speak for yourself about getting stupid,” Paul said. “Are you done bagging on me now? Not make an ass of myself indeed. More like that rehearsal was for you to make sure you don’t forget the damn ring.”
“It isn’t all bad, PL; just think, this time tomorrow night, you’re going to be a married man again and on your way to getting laid. You do remember what getting laid is, right?”
Paul rewarded him with a whack on the head as the others howled with laughter. “Of course, dipshit; I’ve been practicing for months. Not that it’s any of your business anyway.”
“Oh yeah, I think he and Shaun told me about the locker room incident that last time you and Montana argued,” Sly nodded.
“Fucking hell, is nothing sacred with you, Spanky?”
“Hey, I didn’t know about you and her getting it on until I got it from Shaun and Mimi. I was even surprised, because you aren’t exactly known for whipping your buddy down there out just anywhere. And speaking of suprises, you’re really going to enjoy the one we have for you in about another fifteen minutes,” Brian replied.
“Oquela. This should be good.”
“Even better, you’ll be blindfolded,” Sly grinned.
“You all just enjoy torturing me, don’t you?”
“Hey, you’re the one that’s a kinky freak anyway,” Brian said.
“Like you’ve never done anything kinky in your life, dude.”
“Besides, see it as retaliation for putting Montana up to having me pick up the kids’ dresses, dopefuck.”
“You are a vindictive, evil little man,” Paul shook his head.
“No, I just play one on TV.”
Sly produced a black piece of cloth. “Now, let the real fun begin.”
Meanwhile:
Montana giggled with embarrassment as the young male stripper performed a seductive dance for her while the women around her whistled and hooted. She may not have minded the idea of Paul having one at his party, but she hoped he wouldn’t open a vein over this.
Sure, this guy was young and fairly attractive, but there was only one man for Montana, and that man she would be marrying in less than twenty four hours and become a mother figure to his two young daughters.
But right now, it seemed she was the target of private dance by a total stranger.
She breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally over, sharing drinks with some of the other women and doing the usual corny games.
“My God, making veils out of toilet paper?” Mariah turned up her nose and laughed. “Where did Tasha get these goofy ideas? Like Shaun and I haven’t seen enough paper making those damn flowers the last couple of days.”
“I bet the guys aren’t doing this,” Shaun added, nodding. “This stuff looks familiar; did Tash by any chance steal this from the restroom back there?”
“Probably,” Montana chuckled. “Tasha has this saying, ‘If it’s free, it’s for me.’ I guess that meant five fingering the restroom toilet paper supply.”
“I hope she left some back there,” Shaun replied. “I think the cosmopolitans I just drank are about to make a reappearance. I’ll be right back.”
“TMI.” Mariah made another face. “So how did you like the ‘floor show’, Mon?”
“It was….interesting,” Montana replied, blushing.
“Yeah, he was hot. I’d do him in a minute.”
“Given the opportunity, you’d do Brian too,” Marylin laughed.
“Shut up!” Mariah laughed back, giving Marylin a playful slap on the head. “Maybe if I was dead drunk, which won’t be anytime soon, by the way.”
Montana nodded. “Rehab has done you well.”
“It has,” Mariah agreed. “I mean, here we are in this kind of place, and I haven’t had the urge to drink even once. You know, I think getting busted for that whole bonfire mess did me good, weird as it sounds.”
“And just think,” Montana replied. “You’ll actually remember my wedding tomorrow.”
“And your party tonight,” Mariah toasted her and Marylin with her Coke. “Life can’t get any better than this. At least sober, I might actually stay out of trouble.”
At the bachelor party a short time later:
“Having a good time, PL?” Brian yelled over the loud music.
“I’d have a better time if I could see what the fuck was going on,” Paul replied, indicating the blindfold. “Get this damn thing off of me.”
“Then you wouldn’t having half as much fun,” Brian said and then couldn’t help laughing his ass off as he saw Sly taping the whole thing while the busty woman writhed in Paul‘s lap, her chest in his face.
“This sucks. I got what is probably a hot woman in my lap, and you assclowns won’t let me see what’s going on.”
“Better bring in the next one, then,” Brian laughed. “Looks like you might get a stiff one if this goes on any longer and we can’t have your bride finding that out.”
“Very funny. Come on, get this off; I want to see what’s happening.”
“What, and ruin the surprise? No way, homeboy.”
“I think I have an idea what the surprise is, Spanky. I already feel it.”
“Oh, that’s just the appetizer, dude. The ‘main course’ of sorts is coming up right now.”
Sly barely restrained himself from laughing, motioning for the other guys to keep quiet as well while Brian beckoned the woman away and motioned for the next stripper to come over, putting his finger on his lips for them to keep quiet and do their routine.
Paul could hear gasps and snickers as the next stripper performed, first feeling up the groom off and on before doing a lap dance of their own.
It hadn’t taken him long to realize something wasn’t right as it had been with the first stripper. When he took a quick feel of his own…..it definitely wasn’t right.
“SPANKY, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?” Paul bellowed, managing to knock the male stripper out of his lap before ripping off the blindfold, the club full of laughter and whistles.
Brian was doubled over in hysterical laughter, Sly not missing a moment with taping the whole thing.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Paul continued, hot on his best friend’s tail as Brian took off running around the building.
The laughter grew louder, but it was now aimed at the groom chasing down his best man. And Sly kept the film rolling. It was an interesting party indeed.
The early morning hours:
Montana had arrived home shortly after midnight; though her bachelorette party was relatively tame, she was tired.
Paul’s mother had stayed with the girls and they were now long asleep. Montana checked on the two small sleeping figures before going to bed herself. Though tired, she couldn’t sleep right away, so she picked up a book to read for awhile.
A short time later, she heard chattering in Spanish downstairs, followed by laughter. Montana looked at the clock and saw it was three thirty, not believing she’d been engrossed in her book that long.
Thank goodness it’s a late wedding tomorrow, she thought before hearing familiar feet stomp up the stairs.
“Will you quiet down?” Montana asked when Paul came in the room. “You sounded like a team of horses coming up here and I don’t want the girls waking up.”
“Be lucky I came home and didn’t call you for bail money instead,” he replied.
“Why, what happened?”
“Let’s just say Spanky almost didn’t live long enough to see the wedding tomorrow, never mind the main event at Unforgiven.”
Montana began to giggle. Evidently Brian had pulled it off after all.
“What the hell is so funny….wait a minute! You knew about this whole thing, didn’t you?”
She nodded, still giggling.
“Fucking hell. I should have known something was up when you didn’t get pissed off about the idea of strippers being there.”
“Paul, it wouldn’t have mattered if both of them had been women. You came home to me, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but who else knew about this? Mami no doubt did; she got a laugh out of it too.”
“Just a few of the girls,” Montana shrugged.
“And now half of the fucking roster on top of that. My life is over,” he groaned, collapsing beside her. “Congratualtions, Spanky, I am now the laughingstock of the locker room. I’m still going to kill his ass.”
“Save the killing for another time,” she responded. “Just think, this time tomorrow night, it will be just you and I heading for sunny Mexico.”
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