Chapter 57
“How are you feeling, babe?” Paul asked, giving Montana a kiss after a show one evening.
“Like Aladdin’s lamp,” she replied. Montana was now starting to show and every other person had stopped to rub her expanding belly. “Would you mind telling your friends that I am not a magic lamp to make three wishes on?”
He laughed and rubbed her middle. “Why not? It’s a cute little pouch.”
Montana rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Paul. I know you think you’ve accomplished something and like showing me off, but God, these people act like they never saw a pregnant woman before.”
“Maybe because Reggie never wanted to come with me when she was having the girls.” He looked around. “Hey, where are Mac and Kira anyway?”
“With Brian,” she replied.
“Oh God. You had to go to the doctor and left Tweedle Dumb and his cannibalistic bodyguard in charge? Of all people, you could have at least asked Shawn.”
“Shawn’s got enough on his plate with Rebecca. I would also like to think I can trust your own best friend, and the girls love him.”
“Sure, the last time they were with Spanky, the got the now-infamous sex talk. And I hope he fed Ezekiel first.”
“Paul, really. I know the man’s face would probably crack if he smiled, but in all reality, Zeke’s a very nice man. At least with him around, I won’t have to worry about anyone bothering the girls.”
“Good point, come to think of it. And also just to think here we are in a dressing room, you and I, all alone….” He wiggled his eyebrows and put on a goofy grin.
“Forget it. That is the kind of thing that got me in my situation in the first place, and besides, someone could come in here at any moment.”
“So everything went okay at the doctor?”
She nodded. “Mmm hmm. All is well. I even got the first baby picture to show you when we get back home.”
“Aha, the ever present sonogram. I went through this before with Mac and Kira. Did I ever tell you I made baby books for them?”
Montana smiled, touched by the sentiment that a man that tore it up with other men for a living would make baby books of his own children. “No, you didn’t. That is so sweet.”
“Yep, right up to their first sonograms and a lock of their baby hair and everything. I keep their stuff in there while they’re growing up. School pictures, shit like that. I plan on keeping them up until the girls are out of high school. I might start one for this little one too.” He patted her stomach.
“And knowing you, you’ll use them as weapons to embarrass those poor girls in front of their boyfriends.”
Paul raised an eyebrow. “I never thought of that, but now that you mentioned it….“
“Don’t even think about it,“ she chuckled.
“Hey, did I ever show you Spanky‘s baby picture? Doesn’t have a stitch of clothes on him. I jacked it from his mom, with her permission, of course.”
“You are terrible, Paul.”
“Serves him right for trying to send a naked picture of me all over the internet from his cell phone for a price.”
“What?”
“A couple of years ago. I was…” he cleared his throat, “….between women and was sort of ‘relieving some tension’, you could say. Little did I know Spanky was in the next room and got a shot of me in the raw–no pun intended–on his camera phone. Next thing I hear, he was on the fucking internet offering copies of ’Paul in the Raw’ for five bucks apiece.”
“Oh my God.” Montana couldn’t help but laugh.
“Come on, babe, that’s not funny. He’s lucky it was only a body shot and my head was cut off, or I’d cut something of his off the moment I had found out about it. Lucky for me, no sites got hold of it.”
“Without your head, I doubt there would have been much interest anyway.”
“Exactly my point. Anyway, we visited his mom a few weeks later and she’s showing me all his baby pictures. We came across one of him butt ass naked and I asked her if I could have a copy. She told me just take the one I had. Spanky would shit a brick if he knew I had that thing. Then again, maybe not; we are talking about a dude that mooned some fans last summer.”
“Good lord, I don’t think I even want to know about that.”
“And to think this is the person who is watching–and perhaps corrupting–our darling little girls.”
“Well, better him than someone we don’t know. If nothing else, he’s also good for laughs.”
“Yeah, when he isn’t embarrassing the shit out of me. I’m telling you, Mon, dude has not one ounce of shame.”
“No argument here. I heard about the times you’d gone to the gay bars holding hands and getting free drinks.”
“Oh fucking hell. Montana, I—”
She laughed again. “You’d go into the bar, split up, and get free drinks, and when someone hit on you, you’d say, ‘See the little curly haired blond over there? I’m his.’ My goodness, Paul, knew you were the adventurous type, but not that adventurous. I have to admit it is quite amusing, though.”
“Jesus Christ. Okay, before I ban Brian from you forever, what the hell else has he told you?”
“That you actually punched some man out at a club one night for calling him a fag.” She kissed his cheek. “My brave, protective man.”
“Piece of shit deserved it. It’s one thing for us to bag on each other, but when outsiders try that bullshit, I’m having none of it. Same goes in the case of you and the girls too.”
Montana snuggled up to him. “Nice to know we girls are protected by such a brave soul.”
“Just doing my job, baby.” He gently rubbed her stomach.
“And you can knock off rubbing the lamp. I’m all out of wishes today.”
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