Chapter 75
The following night, Brian had slept over at Paul’s insistence. They had been watching a basketball game and it had been late when it had ended, plus he had drunk two beers.
“It was just two, dude,” Brian had protested.
“Two too many,” Paul countered, bringing out blankets and pillows while Montana put the girls and Michael to bed. “Your ass is staying here. I’m not risking you getting pulled over because of your own stupidity.”
“All right, but you’ve traveled with me enough to know my habits.”
“The fact you snore like a bear and the gas bombs you lay? Yeah, so what else is new?”
“As if you never farted a day in your life, PL.”
“Yeah, yeah, well, at least now, I don’t have to worry about you humping my leg,” Paul laughed.
“And I don’t snore.”
“Right, keep telling yourself that, Spanky. Good night.”
Brian grunted in response before Paul headed upstairs.
Montana was already in bed reading when Paul got there. “Kids all down, huh?” he asked.
She nodded. “I called Mariah and told her Bri was staying over. She was fine with it.”
“Yeah, I got the ‘it was only two beers’ bullshit, but it would be both our rotten luck he would get pulled over on the way home or get into an accident. No way would it be worth the risk.”
“You’re right,” she agreed, then frowned, watching him dig around for something. “What are you doing?”
“Where’s the remote?”
“Probably up your ass where you left it.”
“Very funny, Montana.”
“Did you look in your drawer?” she suggested.
“Oh yeah, that might help.”
He opened the drawer, pulling out the remote. “Here we go.”
“What would you do without me?” Montana smiled, checking the baby monitor before going back to her book as Paul flipped on the TV.
“I have no idea.”
Soon they heard a strange sound, causing Montana to look up from her book.
“Paul, what on God’s green earth are you watching?”
“That isn’t the TV. Spanky’s snoring downstairs.”
“Good grief.”
“I’m serious. Dude is down there sawing the forest. That gives me an idea.”
“What are you going to do?” she wondered.
Paul grabbed his cell phone. “Midget insists he doesn’t snore. I’m about to prove his ass wrong.”
“You are absolutely evil.”
“Yep, that’s me,” he laughed, getting out of bed. “But this will make some good video.”
The next morning:
They were awakened by both noises coming from the baby monitor and the girls giggling in the bathroom while Brian continued to sleep downstairs. Montana went to check on Michael; meanwhile, Paul found Mac and Kira in the bathroom, having discovered Montana’s cosmetic stash.
“Guys, what are you doing?” he asked.
“Um…just looking,” Kira replied, wide eyed.
“You aren’t mad, are you, Papi?” Mac asked.
“No, but you really shouldn’t get into stuff that isn’t yours,” he replied before an evil grin came to his face. “Wait a minute. I got an idea.”
“What?” Mac asked.
“Get some of that stuff and follow me downstairs. Let’s do something funny.”
“What’s funny?” Kira asked.
“You guys will like this.”
“What about Mami?” Mac wondered.
“She’s busy with Mikey; it will be just us. Come on, let’s go.”
Paul grabbed his phone on the way downstairs, followed by the girls, heading toward Brian, who was still spread out on the couch, asleep. The girls giggled as they and Paul appled cosmetics on him, Paul shushing them while restraining from laughing himself, and then taking pictures with his phone before they disappeared back upstairs, giggling.
Brian had just woken up shortly afterwards, scratching and on his way to the kitchen when Montana had come down with the baby. Both had given him strange looks.
“What?” he asked. “I know I look strange in the morning, but damn.”
“Actually….I was just wondering what that mess all over your face was,” Montana replied.
“What mess? I just haven’t shaved yet. I guess I need to bum a razor from PL.”
“Frankly, I think you better do a lot more than that.”
“What the hell……”
“Go look in the mirror,” Montana finally said, shaking her head.
Brian did as instructed; things were quiet for a few moment before a loud gasp came out of the bathroom, followed by a yell and a loud stomping up the stairs.
“PL, I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR FUCKING MEXICAN ASS!”
Howls of laughter came from upstairs, followed by Paul flying downstairs and out the patio doors, Brian hot on his trail.
Montana shook her head, still holding Michael. “I will never be able to figure out your father. I think he’s still stuck on childhood in a grown man’s body.”
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