Montana found a large hairy object sitting beside Michael’s carrier seat and jumped. “Oh my God!”
Brian came in and picked up the object nonchalantly, stuffing it in a bag. “Oh, I was wondering where I put that. I was hoping I’d find it before PL did.”
“Exactly was was that thing?” Montana asked. “For a minute I thought it was real and was going for the baby!”
“Just something I picked up as sort of a payback to your husband for that little ‘makeover’ prank of his. We all know how much PL loves spiders; remember how he screamed like a girl when one crawled out of the bathtub drain the other night?”
“Oh yes. He’s been checking every drain in the house like clockwork ever since.”
“Well, after I had to scrub his handiwork off myself this morning, I made a trip down to this Halloween shop and got the biggest, hairiest, ugliest fake spider I could find to shove in his bag.”
“It certainly looked convincing enough to me. Good lord.”
“Imagine how it’s going to look to PL when he opens that backpack. Buahahahaha.”
“Bri, really, that’s cruel.”
“And sticking make up on me while I’m sleeping then taking pictures of me isn’t? If that wasn’t enough, he took video of me snoring. Asshole. Of course, I do have the one of PL dancing in his underwear…..”
“What?” Montana asked.
“I didn’t tell you about that one?”
“Come to think of it, I don’t think you did.”
“Hang on a minute; I still have it. It’s funny as hell, especially the part where his ass is pointing toward the camera.”
“Only you would come up with this kind of stuff, Brian.”
“Aha! Found it!” he glowed after going through a menu on his phone. “There you go, your other half, all in his half naked pleasure. I can send you a copy for Mikey to laugh at someday.”
“I’m sure he’ll enjoy this,” she giggled, right before Paul came in, headed toward his backpack.
“And now the real fun is about to begin,” Brian muttered.
“Are you still goofing around?” Paul asked.
“Nope, I’m ready any time you are,” Brian answered as Montana handed back the phone. “I was just showing Mon something.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she enjoyed seeing your X-rated phone video collection.” Paul rolled his eyes.
“That’s not exactly all he has on there,” Montana interjected, grinning, giving Michael a bottle. “There are actually some milder things.”
“I’m sure.” Paul unzipped the backpack and jumped back.
“Um….guys? Nobody move…”
“What’s wrong, dude?” Brian asked, trying to keep a straight face.
“Big….hairy….eight….legged…..freak…..”
“Oh, come now, no spider can be that big.”
“Yeah, well, this one can be the size of a small colony.”
“Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I have to see for myself.”
“I’m telling you, Spanky, don’t go near that thing. It’s huge. It’ll bite.”
“Do you mean this?” Brian asked, pulling the fake spider up. “Yeah, it is kind of big, isn’t it?”
“SPANKY, DON’T FUCK WITH ME; THAT WASN’T FUNNY!”
Brian doubled over in laughter, holding the fake spider in the air. “Dude, the look on your face was a riot!”
“I despise you,” Paul growled.
“No you don’t,” Brian said, placing the spider on Paul’s head.
“Get that freak off of me!”
“What? All it is is rubber and fake fur.”
“I don’t care what it is; get that thing away from me, you asshole!”
“Well, at least now we’re even. And no children were used in the purchase of said spider, unlike some people, who recruited them for my crude ‘makeover’.”
“Fine, we’re even. Now if you don’t mind, we have a flight to catch, which by the way, I’m driving. I’d like to have us get there in one piece and without a traffic ticket.”
“Okay, but we better leave now, because as we all know, it takes half an hour just for you to go two blocks.”
“Ass wipe,” Paul said, throwing his jacket at him.
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