"Dude, don't throw that stuff out," Paul said a few days later, indicating the pile Brian just dug out of a pumpkin and was about to dump in a nearby wastebasket while they were carving jack o' lanterns. "Those will make some good snacks."
"Are you f*cking kidding me?" Brian muttered. "I know you eat about anything, but hell, pumpkin guts?"
"I meant the seeds, Spanky. Put that stuff in the colander that's sitting in the sink. Then we'll rinse the crap off, put the seeds on a cookie sheet, bake them with a little salt and spice, and voila, fresh pumpkin seeds."
"Hey, that sounds like a pretty good idea, only I think I'd leave that to Montana. Knowing you, you'd taint them with that flaming hot shit and kill everyone in the house."
Paul batted his eyes playfully. "Not me."
"Yes, you, PL. Don't play innocent with me, dude."
"I have Mexican and Indian blood; it's only natural I like spicy stuff."
"That's great, Paul, but Jesus, it doesn't mean you have to attempt murder on the rest of us while you enjoy it."
"You're just jealous," Paul said with a goofy grin.
"Yeah, that's it," Brian rolled his eyes and laughed, scooping out more pumpkin innards. "I'm jealous because I can't eat jalapenos from the jar like popcorn without a three-alarm fire breaking out in my stomach and flames coming out of my ass each time I take a dump. Whatever you say, PL."
"Will one of you get that?" Montana called out when the doorbell rang. "I'm changing the baby."
"You're closer," Brian told Paul. "I'm up to my elbows in pumpkin guts and it's probably one of your goofy friends anyway."
"No," Paul said, wiping his hands on a towel before heading for the door, "he's already here."
Brian flicked his hand, sending pumpkin mess on Paul, who laughed and got the door.
It had been one of the neighbors who had been holding a package for them, which he took, thanked them, and then studied the box. "Jesus, are these here already? Mon just ordered this stuff."
"What?"
"The Halloween costumes are here."
"Wow, that was quick."
Montana came out, carrying Michael. "Who was at the door?"
"Neighbors held a box for us," Paul nodded, gesturing at the large box. "The Halloween stuff has arrived."
The girls then came running. "COSTUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!"
"Take it easy, you two," he said. "The big night isn't till Friday."
"They should at least try them on," Montana suggested. "That way, I can see if Beverly needs to take in anything before then."
"Yeah, I guess that wouldn't hurt, huh? All right, have at it but be careful."
"YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"You're just trying them on!" Paul reminded the girls as they ran off with their costumes.
"How did you two do with the pumpkin project?" Montana asked.
"Spanky made weird faces," Paul said with a mock whine.
"I did not," Brian protested. "I was being creative. You're the one that was a doofus."
"Dumbass here was going to throw out the seeds," Paul countered.
"Which you planned to douse with the hottest spices you can find which would have made anyone who ate them spontaneously combust," Brian shot back.
"Frankly, these aren't bad," Montana said as she studied the finished projects. "As for the seeds, I think we're all better off if I take care of those."
Brian looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you, Jesus."
"Am I really that bad with the spicy stuff?" Paul asked.
"Yes," they said in unison.
"Here," Montana said, handing him the baby. "You guys can entertain Michael for a little bit while I clean up and do the pumpkin seeds. First, I'm going to check on the girls, though."
"This I can handle," Paul grinned.
"Till the kid shits himself," Brian muttered.
"I heard that, Spanky."
The girls came out, wearing their costumes. "LOOOOOOOOOOOKIE!" they cried.
"Come over here." Montana said. "Let me see if they fit all right."
She inspected Mac for a few minutes, pleased that the costume fit the older girl perfectly. "Looks like the Good Witch is going to be perfectly fine," Montana said cheerfully. "Good thing I got the smaller size. This is just perfect. As for you," she said, turning to Kira, "unless we can fatten you up in the middle by Friday, I'm going to need Bev to take you in a few inches in the middle. Otherwise, you'll be fine."
"Wait till you see me and Papi here," Brian grinned. "You'll freaking love it."
"Never mind," Paul glared. "You and your bright ideas."
"I think it's going to be a great idea," Montana smiled.
"You would," Paul sniffed. "The whole world isn't seeing you in it."
"We want to see!" Kira cheered.
"I'm sure you girls would," Montana replied, "but you can't until Friday when you get dressed up too."
"Are you going to dress Mikey?"
"Of course. He's going to have his little pumpkin costume and stay here with me to pass out candy while you go out with your dad and Bri."
"That will be cute," Mac nodded. "We should take pictures."
"Oh, I plan to," Montana agreed.
"Especially of Papi," Kira giggled.
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT," Paul spoke up in protest. "Shouldn't you two be getting ready for bed anyway?"
Montana looked at the clock. "Come to think of it, it is getting that time. I need to make Michael a bottle too. All right, ladies, time for you two to hustle upstairs and put on your pajamas. Bring these back down when you're finished and then it's bedtime."
"Awwww…." they began.
"Guys, come on, you know there's school tomorrow. Now get moving. I have to get the baby settled."
Later:
The girls and Michael had been settled in bed, and Montana had come out of the kitchen, the pumpkin seeds done and kitchen cleaned up and went to join the guys in the living room, pulling the baby monitor out of her pocket and sitting it on a table.
"I can't believe they broke up!" Brian whined.
"I told you that was going to happen, dumbass," Paul said.
"I'm surprised you knew what was going on the way your eyes bug out of your head every time the chick comes on the screen."
"My eyes do not bug out of my head."
"What are you two watching?" Montana asked.
"Some goofy thing on VH1," Paul answered.
Brian laughed. "If no one ever believes PL's a tit man, they should watch an episode of I Love New York with him. Those knockers draw his eyes every time he watches that show."
"For fuck's sake, Spanky! I was reading the tattoo!"
Montana began to laugh. "I'm sure you were, Paul. Just like you said my pink maternity blouse was your favorite. Now I know why."
"Oh yeah, because he's been reading the "Princess" tattoo eight thousand times and got a new fetish for pink maternity blouses. Paul will look at any pair of tits, and he's bad at hiding it," Brian continued.
"Shut up!" Paul yelled, turning red and tossing a cushion in Brian's direction, hitting him in the head.
"Your husband is a dirty old Mexican," Brian said, laughing.
"You think I haven't figured that out by now?" Montana responded, getting into the spirit.
"He corrupted me," Paul said.
"Hey, I'm an ass guy. You were corrupt long before I came into the picture, dude. I wasn't the one that knocked the crucifix off the wall fucking my first girlfriend."
"Jesus, Spanky!"
"What?" Montana asked, turning to Paul.
"You didn't hear about the first piece of ass PL got, Mon? He was sixteen and—"
Paul clapped his hand over Brian's mouth. "Stop right there."
Brian removed the hand. "Don't know why, dude. I still have the article where you mentioned it anyway."
"Oquela. I don't believe this."
"Oh yes, the high school one. I think I may have read that one once," Montana nodded. She then pinched her husband's thigh. "Come to think of it, you are a dirty old man."
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