This is just such a ridiculous situation where I'm broke and infertile and desperate. I think when you feel powerless like that it can make you really annoying. But I'm trying not to be annoying.
I'm trying to just learn to accept what happens. I'll just try to deal with whatever happens. How do you keep your heart from breaking? I'm working on that one. (TTCing used to kind of work! At least I was doing something. But I can't fool myself anymore--it's really just so unlikely at this point.)
Please keep your fingers crossed nothing goes wrong and I get to do these cycles.