You are right, Orchid, and the birth is not the key either (success ment.)December 29 2010 at 12:19 AM
|Vianna (no login)|
Response to you said you have 1 from OEs?
You are so right, Orchid, about the child depending upon the mother to care for and nurture him or her. Not to dismiss the beautifully deep and intimate experience of physically birthing your child, but just ask any mother of both an adoptive and a conceived and birthed child if the love is less intense and you'll realize that the birthing hormones are not the key to mother's love and bonding, either.
What you said about how donors might react if they met the child was interesting. I believe you are correct--and funny I never really imagined that scenario--the love I have for my daughter is all-encompassing and so incredibly deep, but if my donor met her, she'd likely fall in love the way others fall in love with babies, but would not have that locked-into one another in that wholly mutual way that my dd and I have. We clearly adore one another.
(And, I used a gestational carrier, by the way--who sees my daughter the way a distant aunt might, but an aunt who at one time cared in a very important way for my dd--she doesn't love her the way I do--she said she was more like a caretaker, such as a kindergarten teacher who falls in love with and carefully teaches her students, but then sends them home...)