Before I write any further...know that I am very ok now
with this result...not the same as what others may hope for or even what I had wanted, but for us, it feels right somehow and that makes all the difference. So here it is...the detailed scoop
Today would be a day 3 transfer and our clinic has you come in no matter what - for consult or possible transfer. I knew immediately though that they wanted to do a day 3 transfer. The nurse that brought us back for the consult said, sit in here to meet with "M" before we get you changed. So I knew...which must have meant our eggs didn't do well since we last got the news that 8 fertilized. My clinic prefers to go to Day 5, but considers total number and quality seriously - not a given either way. I started to cry before the embryologist even came in!! HORMONES plus the internet made me think that would mean I was a complete failure - LOL - the drama! But all is ok.
Out of our 8, we got 1 perfect 8-cell (her words) and 1 close to perfect 8 cell (grade 4/8 and 3/8 on this scale - 4 being perfect). Four others were grade 2/8, with the remaining 2 not really making it at all. Their recommendation was for us to transfer the two really good ones today instead of waiting for day 5. We debated back and forth - small clinic with a LONG ivf history with us - they truly want us to have a healthy baby and would do anything we wanted. The RE came in and sat with us awhile. Are they/we disappointed in eggs and ends results, yes. But, he said, you have two star embryos looking at you right now. We can wait until day 5 and likely one or more of the "2s" might surge forward and we would pick the best two from them, but it is likely these two stars that will be your strongest blasts. He knows me so well...and knows I would not be able to bear waiting til day 5 and potentially ending up with none. And, while a slim chance in his mind...it is enough of one in mine given our total embryo count that Day 3 it is!!!
So, we got on board and agreed to the Day 3 transfer of embie 4/8 (daisy) and embie 3/8 (collie) - named because one looks like a daisy and one like cauliflower! I have always had a difficult cervix...this RE has been one of the few who can navigate things easily. But not today - nope, we weren't going to get an easy pass today at all!! I use cytotec for two days prior to soften cervix and that didn't help. It was so difficult today - so painful - I was crying on the table (and I have done this a lot - this was different!). At one point he had them get sedation ready because he knew he was hurting me so much. Just before they sedated me, in it went! The embies were then calmly escorted in and gently planted into the warmth and coziness of their new home - THANK GOD they didn't have any stress!!!
And, now, with them where they are meant to be, I am de-stressing as well
The rest of the embryos will be cultured to day 5 and we will freeze anything that looks ok. But our hearts and souls are committed to the two little dudes who joined our family today...only focusing on them right now.
Off to accupuncture and to eat some pineapple core - for real? - THANKS TO ALL FOR THE WISDOM and INSPIRATION...now we wait!