I am happy (m/c, child ment)March 3 2011 at 2:03 PM
|Julie (no login)|
Response to Am I one of the only ones...(sorry long bitter rant & questions)
I spent 3 years ttc and most of that was via DE. I got pregnant on my first fresh DE cycle but m/c at 9 wks due to chrom issues. I got pregnant again on a FET from my 3rd donor. My 14 week old little girl is sleeping in my arms. Sure it would be great if she was genetically mine but we don't dwell on it. She looks like my DH which I love. But she sure knows who her mommy is - I am absolutely her favorite. I had a few problems in the pregnancy (pre-eclampsia symptoms and gestational diabetes) but it was all worth it for my LO. I am so happy being a mommy and am in love with my little girl.
We are pretty open with close friends and family that we used DE but some have forgotten. We had numerous conversations about it with my in-laws and I don't think they remember - they just love her. My whole family knows as do all my closest friends. Nobody really mentions it. I don't feel the need to tell everybody so when random acquaintences say "who does she look like?" I simply say "well, she looks like her daddy -- she has none of me." which is the truth! They typically just say -- "oh her looks will change when she gets older" and I just smile. Will she resent it (not knowing half her genetics) some day? Maybe but all kids have the potential to resent their parents for something and I can't/don't worry about that too much today. If we had not used DE Olivia would not exist so that is that. We are thankful to the donor's 1 cell donation but DH and I are the ones who gave her life and love her so much it hurts.
I don't post as much because I have not had too many problems since she was born plus have 3 sisters who are moms and they help me with many issues. One of my sisters has DE boy-girl twins. My one problem is that I struggle with putting her down - she is in my arms quite often which makes it hard to type! She is finally taking naps in her crib which means I should post more. Finally, I just don't think you will hear too many people posting "everthing is great" when there are other mommies with some great difficulties. Nobody wasnts to rub it in. DE is a great option - not perfect but definitely worth it if your key goal is you want to be a mommy.