We have the kids we were meant to have. They don't look like me either but we picked a donor who could have been a cousin of mine, so it was just by chance that Buddy resembles hubby and Girlie resembles, er, herself.
My first M/C was 16 years before we heard of DE, and it was a rough 16 years, but once we had the kids a lot of the heartache (not all) left. I can go to shopping malls now, or child-friendly restaurants without wanting to leave immediately.
I lurked on this board for a long time before posting. Now I mostly post on the pink board, but sometimes come here to see if I can offer any suggestions. Other sources of help were PVED (see "forum" on left of page): http://www.parentsviaeggdonation.org/v2/index.html
and Surrotalk (we needed a surrogate too): http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/SurroTalk/?yguid=81283401
I also received a lot of support from my local Resolve Egg Donor group. If you are interested, go to www.resolve.org and look for regional groups in your area.