Same situation, same thoughts! (child mentioned)March 21 2011 at 7:10 PM
|Aoife1 (Login aoife1)|
Response to Are you worried about loving DE as much...(child ment.)
Hello Blueberry and welcome. Well I am also 44 and have a 4yr old bio son. He too was conceived and born without IVF but only after I had already spent years trying with IVF, IUI etc. I also had two mc's before my ds arrived. He was conceived naturally while waiting to do our final IVF attempt. Because of our struggles we started to try and conceive naturally for a sibling almost immediately after DS was born and I was hoping that I would get lucky again. Four years went by. Only recently have I adjusted to the thought of DE and we are now booked in for our first DE cycle in May. I have the same thoughts as you from time to time.
I often wonder how I will feel, will I bond with a DE baby as I did with my ds? Its a perfectly natural worry I suppose and yet deep down I just know that I would love any child, how so ever he/she was conceived. For me I think it is really the selfish worry of how I will feel when people make comments on whether or not the baby looks like me/DH (whether they say looks like me or not is irrelevant because I will know there is no genetic connection). Stupid I know, selfish also I know, but I think its only natural to have such thoughts. I tell myself that if I am successful, this will be MY baby because if I didn't take this step, then this baby may not exist. So I have to take this step now, and bring this baby to his/her true home.
I wish you success Blueberry.