I totally understand about the culture/religion, I live and work in Asia although I'm from UK and although some families do accept donor IVF I do know that some Indian cultures are sometimes against it. Most of our Indian patients never tell family or friends but to be honest at your age no one is going to ask - I'm 46 and no one has ever asked me - even my closest friends or family.
As far as choosing a donor, I always think you have to choose someone you are happy with, someone you feel comfortable with in every aspect - I'm not saying she has to be a perfect mini you but you MUST feel happy and comfortable with your choice. Living in Asia I had a very difficult time to find caucasian donors and eventually I opted for a mixed donor Indian/caucasian (for my second cycle, first cycle donor was caucasian) but I was totally happy with her looks, loved per personality and FWIW she also had a breast augmentation but after she donated for me, her breasts were not small to start with - in my opinion they were perfect for her size.
Have you tried searching on surromomsonline for an Indian donor? There used to be a few on there although I've not checked for a long time but it may be worth you looking. You could always refer her direct to your clinic if there was someone you liked so she wouldn't have to know who you were.
Anyway, welcome and good luck.