Here in Australia paying for egg donors is illegal hence if you arn't using a sister or cousin then you need to advertise.
From experience: keep your add short and heartfelt. Place the adds in newspapers where poorer people are. I write this because I put adds in places where rich people live and got not one response.
Yet when I placed the add (same add) in poorer areas I eventually got 45 replies. Put an email address and a mobile phone number as well on the add.
Ask people:
How old are you? Are you regular (period)?
Do you have PCOS or endometriotis?
How many children do you have? Their ages?
Have you any diseases in your family (state this is a standard question)?
Do you have any kind of needle fobia?
Are you married? Have you spoken to your husband about this? What did he say/think?
Do you have depression in your family? Who in your family has depression? (determine if it is related to a death in the family etc rather than an ongoing problem).
Would you be prepared to travel (if necessary?).
also talk to them about time frames (how long for standard testing to see if they are medically ok to donate etc).
You don't have to belt out there questions to them all at once just have a conversation the questions will flow trust me. No use getting the perfect donor if she has a needle phobia.
I advertised and eventually got 45 replies. I narrowed it down to four people based on the questions I had asked them and also based on meeting several of the ladies. Of these four people:
1. was too obese and risked being over stimulated.
2. many in her family, her included, suffered ongoing depression.
3. one lady was my second choice for a donor but she was also interested in surrogacy.
4. the last lady became my donor but she didn't stimulate well and we eventually went overseas to a proven donor. (don't let that deter you)
Number 3 lady I eventually asked to be our egg donor. She said yes. Went to a few doctor's meetings which I paid for then started to drag her feet.
Weeks passed and she was still dragging her feet. I eventually asked her straight out what was going on. She told me she hadn't really broached the subject with her husband in great detail. His initial response had been 'ok but not now lets think about it'. She never conveyed this to me until I really pressed her about it. I was really livid as we had wasted valuable time with this silly woman and I had paid for her medical appointments of course.
I eventually asked her how long it might take to talk to her husband and would 6 months be ok for him to think about it. I asked this as a sort of joke but she took me seriously and she said it might take longer than that and she couldn't say when she would be ready.
I just thought she was a friggin nutta stringing me along. What a fruitcake for sure.
Sorry to pour this all out to you. I'd sort of forgotten it.
The lady who did donate for us is still a friend who came and saw me in the hospital when Roberto arrived god bless her.
You can probably see why I have some of the questions above listed.
Don't let me deter you. I know that LauraNZ advertised and also got a donor and then a baby on the first try with her lovely donor.
It is worth it (of course)!!
best, TH.
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