We decided at the outset that we would be no tell to the world but reserve the right to be tell or no tell to the child at a later date - if we are lucky enough to have success with DE, and when we have had much more time to consider the impact of doing so or not.
The decision will be ours based on our thoughtful, informed and considered view about what will be best for our child. Yes we will research and digest all viewpoints, but we will not rely or be swayed by any one group of professionals or otherwise. So called 'professionals' are not infallible, studies of adopted children simply cannot compare. And those uninformed DE children cannot provide input for professionals or studies.
As parents we will have a duty to do what we believe is right in the interest of our child, and that means taking into account the child and the environment in which the child lives. For some that means it is absolutely right to be open from the outset, even perhaps before the child is born, by telling family or close friends. For others it will mean the child is better protected if no one except the child is told. In some cases, it may be best if even the child is not told.
There is no right or wrong answer. No one should get hot under the collar about how another person chooses to deal with this issue.