And given that I can relate, I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I had a total of 3 natural conceptions after age 40 (followed by 3 m/cs), and 3 IVFs and 2 IUIs. I'm a couple of weeks away from my first DE cycle.
I too have associated pregnancy with loss and frankly, have been terrified by it. But a recent visit to an OB/GYN really reassured me. Because our donor is 28, the thought of a pregnancy that is more likely to be healthy, than not is actually a realistic one now. And, for the first time, I finally find myself thinking about pregnancy in a happy and hopeful way, rather than waiting for something to go wrong every step of the way.
Welcome - and best wished to you!