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relate to your fears

May 24 2011 at 7:53 PM
  (Login dressagequeen42)


Response to 42 and feeling insecure / inadequate beginning DE Protocol

 
Absolutely can relate!

Just know that your fears will NOT CAUSE things not to work. They may make the process more difficult for you but feelings do not cause an outcome.

I was most blissed out and confident during the early weeks of my third naturally conceived pregnancy, so much so that I went on vacation with my husband (WHICH MY RE SAID WOULD BE OK), but when we returned home and had our next ultrasound there was no heartbeat. For months I could not look at the vacation photos which showed a newly pregnant blissed-out ME in them. They made me cry.

What causes success? Physical issues largely outside of our control and also unfortunately often outside of the doctors' control.
What can help? Getting support (either a psychological counsellor or an in-person support group), plenty of rest, eating right, prenatal vitamins.

In my case I also did acupuncuncture in the weeks leading up to embryo transfer as well as at the transfer to build my uterine lining and help me relax. I found those treatments very relaxing. But even they could not save my 3rd and last naturally conceived pregnancy (and i spent $8,000 in one year on them.)

I also started my own support group for women doing DE and THAT helped give me support AND I SAW A THERAPIST to help me process my feelings/fears/concerns.

In the cycle that gave us our daughter I also went with a prior proven donor who'd made a live birth through donating. (Verified by my doctor.) And I had her checked out by my RE BEFORE choosing her. (He checked antral follicle count and fsh levels AND he looked at her past stim cycle records.)

No matter how supportive your husband is (mine was great) they don't GET IT. Heck, they are not giving up their genetic connection, nor are they carrying an embryo in their body. It just isn't the same situation for them, even though, God knows, they do care. Plus, let's face it they process their feelings differently than we do.

Good luck!

Lisa
mom to beloved DD thru DE IVF
tested positive for APA and elevated NK count
ingested prednizone during 1st trimester and injected lovenox until 2 wks before due date
HELLP syndrome (stroke/coma) survivor

 
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