Hi Anon 7. I struggled with this issue a few weeks. I posted the same question on this board as well as the pink board. Many ladies with twins responded. The ladies on both boards were enormously helpful. Those threads were started on May 27th, if you'd like to read them. I took a look at the guidelines, and they say that the age of the donor should govern the decision behind how many embryos to transfer. Not the age of your uterus.
As far as 43 year old uteri go, mine will be 43 on Sunday (funny, I initially typed 23 instead of 43...ha. THAT's a typo!)
DH and I were committed to a SET (single embryo transfer) from the start, but a GF (natural conceptions in her 30s, mother of two singletons) suggested we consider transfering more than one. Twins are cute, they play together, the entertain each other, we'd be done, they aren't THAT much more work, it gets easier after they turn 3 and most women have healthy twin pregnancies, etc. Many (not all) of the ladies who were blessed with twins really pressed me to reconsider those assumptions. I was so persuaded by my GF's arguments that I even floated the idea of transfering three and GOING for twins. RE said, um...no.
Ultimately, DH and I know we don't have the bandwidth to manage twins. We'd go from raising a child to managing a whole project. I'm a lawyer and project manager by trade and it seemed I'd be doing more project management at home than I already do! But the other major factor for us, well, for me, anyway, because it took a while for DH to really get
the health risks involved, is that yes, my uterus is going on 43 - and twins are risky at any age, and even moreso at 43.
One of the many things I'm looking forward to (if I ever get out on the happy side of 2WWHell) is the statistical probability of a healthy pregnancy. One that I'm not absolutely terrified by (with good reason) every single step of the way. (Been there and done that three times over now, and miscarried each time.) I'm lookng forward to what will, in some respects, be a 28-year old pregnancy. I don't know that my body can handle carrying twins. I want a natural birth, if at all possible, I want to avoid a C-Section, if at all possible, I want to avoid pre-eclampsi, if at all possible, I want to avoind gestational diabetes, if at all possible, I want to go to term, if at all possible, and basically, I want to avoid complications - again, if at all possible.
Granted, I am losing my mind during this 2WW (and driving the very patient ladies on this board nuts in the process, I'm sure). And the people at CVS must think I'm starting a pregnancy test specialty store. But I don't, for a second, regret having transfered only one. We were lucky enough to be guided well by our RE in selecting a great donor, and we have 4 genetically tested embies on ice should this month's attempt not work. He uses vitrification to freeze (ie, quick freeze), so we shouldn't lose any in the thaw, should we have to go down that road next month.
Others feel differently, naturtally. And different things work for different people. But for us - I don't know that my body can handle carrying twins and I don't want to come out on the wrong side of that gamble, because the consequences could last a lifetime.
I hope this helps. Feel free to email me at [email protected]
I know how difficult a decision this is.
Regardless - three seems like a nonstarter.