I cant even begin to tell you how hard it is to find a decent East Indian donor that takes somewhat after me or DH( we are no tell - even blood group is important). And I am really struggling with several odds at the moment...I am much older than my DH, a few months after my marriage, I hit an FSH of 58, tried in vain to cure myself for 3 years, was on high FSH board under a different name, tried SO MANY things - acu, chinese, ayurveda, no wheat, no dairy, no so many things, fasting, overeating, lots of secret crying in the parking lots ..then decided to move to DE with my sis in india, who has 2 kids. We talked to several places in India, we were all set, then right before our planned dates, her fsh came back at 15 (out of the blue), the RE refused, treated us like dogs - it was very humiliating, we dumped that place. I tried to bring my sis to US for IVF (my RE here agreed), to take a chance - her passport got lost by Indian government, it took 10 months - and now she cant come anymore. Between all this drama I began to look for an East Indian donor and finally decided to move to anonymous donor - and all this while no one in our entire family knows, they just "say" things. Finding an East indian was very hard, there was some or the other problem with everyone, and then we found HER. She did'nt work out, we found another one (who is the topic of discussion). Now we have one more news to deal with, my DH needs to go to India for 1 year in Nov. I will go with him - same family pressure will come back. I just dont want to cycle in india, after the bad experience before, and that we wont even get to see our donor's pic.I am also not ready to deal with all the pressure and family stuff that is in the offing - I am really hoping that I can find a donor here and more so, be fortunate to carry a baby ( oh pleeze dear god
Honestly, there is a fear in me, that all this is meant to be, that I need to learn to move on with my life and forget about this; this may sound dramatic, but everytime something like this happens, it rekindles that fear. Sorry just too bummed out.. but I really really appreciate you listening.