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new to DE, but not new to IF (child ment, preg ment)

July 28 2011 at 1:28 PM
Melissa  (Login mbb70)


Hi, Ladies. I have been on the secondary board and the over 40 board for a while now. After struggling to conceive with OE for two years, our minds and hearts are finally starting to open to DE. But I am still so torn. So.very.torn.

I have moments where I feel so certain that this is the path for us to grow our family and then other moments when I feel like there's just no way I could go through with it. But, at this point, I do realize that if I want to be pregnant again, DE is the only way.

At the moment, if I assume that we can and will do this, my struggle is about open versus anonymous donor. Though we live in the midwest, we go to Cornell, where the donation is anonymous. This is totally fine with us. But....I wonder about taking away the option for any future child to find out more about his or her genetic heritage if we go the anonymous route. I have read a lot of hurtful comments about women who choose anonymous donation and how they are limiting their child's future, and I was wondering if any of you would be willing to share any resources that talk about this issue in a more helpful way or any personal stories that might help illuminate my way here.

I wish you all luck and I hope to join you here as we move along the DE path (however far it takes us!).


40 (41 in three days)
multiple canceled IVF's and failed IUI's
DOR dx in Aug 2009
DS born in June 2008 following medicated IUI (only produced one follicle though....early signs of DOR that went undiagnosed?)

42 (43 in four days)
low everything

 Respond to this message   

  1. happy birthday to you and dh :) (success, child ment) - cotton on Jul 28, 2011
    1. thank you! - Melissa on Jul 28, 2011
      1. true about the choices we make... - cotton on Jul 28, 2011
  2. I relate (child ment) - samys on Jul 28, 2011
    1. thanks - Melissa on Jul 28, 2011
  3. Why limit yourself to Cornell? - anonforthis on Jul 28, 2011
    1. I don''t suppose we have to... - Melissa on Jul 28, 2011
      1. Melissa... - cotton on Jul 28, 2011
      2. I meant mediocre in terms of stats - anonforthis on Jul 28, 2011
  4. Re: new to DE, but not new to IF (child ment, preg ment) - Zaytune on Jul 28, 2011
  6. For me (de children/bio children ment) - E&H on Jul 28, 2011
  8. There will always be hurtful comments ++ - Anonymous on Jul 28, 2011
  10. Well, first . . . - Maggie in VA on Jul 29, 2011
  12. Thanks, everyone - Melissa on Jul 29, 2011
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