You have certainly been through the ringer in this process. On one hand, I hear you about finding the 'perfect' one, on the other hand, the only 'perfect' one would by OE truth be told. We can't replicate ourselves. I kind of took a leap of faith with a clinic donor who was available b/c the other donor that I was to share, the other couple backed out at the last minute, leaving me waiting AGAIN for someone to pick her. I was all over it, and ended up finding out (not from the DE coordinator) about this other donor who another couple had picked and were waiting for a share - looked at the picture and said, why not? She was cute with a big smile, looked happy, was skinny and tall (I'm more 'normal' size), and liked to read, jog and do yoga. Sounded good to me.
I'm now pg and have no regrets.
Best of luck to you. I hope that you find success very soon.