I may not be a familiar name as I don't post often...but I read religiously and follow every journey. Thought I would throw myself out there again as we are embarking on our 2nd DE cycle (after 5 failed OE IVFs...). On Monday I turned 44 and it was the day I started Lupron. In my mind there was something magical about starting this before I was 44...silly right? But that wasn't meant to be. I had a great birthday thanks to DH and jumped in with both feet.
My last DE cycle was in February and we had a rocky road to that donor. She was our third choice *after the first 2 didn't pan out* and I know now that I settled because I was so anxious to GO. I always felt a little off about her so when we got the BFN...although I was devastated, there was a small part of me that felt like it wasn't meant to be...
This time we are working with a 2 time proven donor who feels 100% right for us. Since the last cycle, I lost 31 pounds on Weight Watchers - getting my BMI under 30. I started accupuncture again - really just to help with anxiety and stress (as I did it for all the other cycles and only to BFN...so I am not sure what I believe about its impact on results). But, for the first time I feel like I am managing a cycle - instead of the opposite (and I know you know what I mean).
The other thing that has changed is my worry about jinxing things. In the past, I would never have even touched a "What to Expect" book or google my potential due date...was too freaked that it would jinx things. This time, I am all out there knowing that none of that will contribute to a BFN...just purchased a Fit Pregnancy mag as it had good prenatal nutrition tips!
Thirty pounds lighter and it seems Lupron is having a different effect on me. Have had blocks of many hours where my ability to focus is not only lessened - it is GONE! Hoping that passes soon as I would like to stay employed
Retrieval is set for just after Labor Day. Please put us in your prayers that we have a positive journey/experience and a healthy BFP waiting for us at the end. Know that I do the same - albeit quietly - for all of you.