Just wanted to commiserate. The same thing just happened to us. It's so frustrating to finally get to the place where you are ready to move forward, and then the option you've gotten excited about gets snatched away.
In my case, it's my DH who is more upset than me. He's been slow to make peace with the DE option "I love YOU, I want to see you in our baby, etc." It was this one donor (just like in your case, she looked like me) that got him over the edge into "yes." Now that she is off the table, I fear he's going to sink back into uncertainty. We'll see.
Anyway, just wanted to send a virtual hug and let you know you're not alone. I hope you're feeling better now.