I read a comment on over 40 board from a DE mom who said that she still feels sadness and anger even AFTER her DE success. It alerts me that for some people, which may very likely include me, the sorrow of the lost genetic link doesn't go away, although you seldom hear about it.
My aunts/uncles have strong favoritism towards one of their kids, and it doesn't bode well for the less favored child. There has been some kind of animosity among them when growing up. The last thing I want is to create an enemy from within the family for my DD, which defeats the purpose of pursuing #2 to begin with.
If both are DE children, or both bio children, favoritism may be much better tolerated. But if the less favored is adopted/DE, I am afraid the child at some point will keep finding justification why he/she is "less favored" even if it is actually not the case. I am not sure if I am capable of managing that situation.