We had this problem, and while we are back on track (though I am sure he wants more), its mostly because I work really hard to keep open and loving even if I do not feel in the mood, as I know how important it is for us both.
But your charting comment made me laugh! I remember when we were still working with OE and between cycles still trying, and he would complain, and I could show a calendar of when we had sex...ha ha! This is so unromantic is cracks me up!
Sorry you are going through this. It's hard when it gets adversarial. But it really does good for the relationship (and you) to keep it up. It's their way of connecting with you more than anything else.
BTW, bcp is a mixed bag. For me, it tends to solve the dryness problem and eases the psychological ttc part, but it does kill sex drive. I have been on it since March, waiting for my long awaited cycle and donor to be set. Ugh.