First, one thing I've learned over years of dealing with depression (not necessarily about IF) is that there is a real value to maintaining physical intimacy with your partner. If you loved your husband enough to marry him, that's still inside you, but it sounds as though you've gotten almost phobic about sex from your experiences ttc, and that I understand, not with relation to sex, but lots of little things that trigger the sadness from those days. For example, there's a restaurant we used to eat at where I had an emotional breakdown watching all the kids around me, and I'm not sure I could go there again, even with my kids.
So, I'm going to suggest extending yourself and maybe even approaching him about sex. It's the "act as if" principle. Focus on reconnecting with him. IMHO the risk you take if you don't overcome this is that it will snowball and hurt your marriage further, and you have a child, and being estranged from your husband can only add to the pain of your current struggle to get pg.
Sorry this is hard for you, and wishing you well!
Maggie (in VA)
|This message has been edited by maggie1961 on Sep 12, 2011 2:25 PM|