You should definitely go over to the pink board and lurk at a minimum. There is a recent post by a member cotton who recently gave birth to a DE baby and she clearly articulates the love she has for this baby. It is beautiful. I'm sure if you did post others on that board would respond about their experiences. I also hard difficulty moving on from OE despite be encouraged to consider DE from my first RE visit. The RE did agree to let me try one OE cycle which was cancelled due to inadequate response (only had two follies responding to meds and clinic had a minimum of three to go to retrieval). After some time grieving the loss of the genetic connection (had some help from a counselor), we moved on to donor egg. Although I cannot speak of the the experience after birth, my experience with DE so far has been that from the time I got the fertilization reports and embryo updates, they were in my heart my embryos and potential babies. I loved them from the moment I saw them on the screen before transfer. Last spring, I did get a BFP on an DE FET that unfortunately ended in an early miscarriage. The pain of that miscarriage was great, I had lost my baby. I don't think it would have been any different if it had been OE. The joy that I felt from that brief pregnancy is what gives me the courage and strength to endure this journey until I have success. Again welcome and best of luck to you!