I'm really so very sorry for your recent losses. I was so hopeful the second one would make it
I don't know what the universe intended for those losses. Maybe some day you will know. But for now, I think if you still want another baby then you are meant to keep trying. And transferring one at a time sounds great
I too struggled with whether to move forward with DE with all the anxiety I was having around it. It was not because of losses like you have had, but because of fear and my thoughts that maybe my anxiety was telling me I should just stop and be happy with the DD I have. Really one child is enough so why mess with a good thing? But I felt it was my last chance to try again and I really wanted another little kid
So I moved forward in spite of my crazy anxiety and it has taken me months to calm down from all of it.
If you want another little kid I don't think you should let your fears stop you. I think it is scary to have a baby at any time. It is a big change and responsibility. I think you have to look to the future and wonder how you will feel if you end up deciding not to try again. Will you be ok with that decision or will you wish you would have tried again? If you think long term it may help you to get over your current fears so you can then move forward.
Don't worry about what you look like for now. You can work on that later when you have had some recovery time.